I have a question about adult step kids.

[Elite Silkies]

Deb, don't worry about, I have 3 I can ship to you in the morning JK those are my babies!! On the serious side: I have went through 12 years of living **** with my husband's ex and their children together. At first, I had a great relationship with 2 of the kids, until she decided it just wasn't going to happen, and those kids made my life a living nightmare, to the point that I wanted a divorce and was fixing to file. My husband stepped in and said NO MORE!

We have 2 kids together and my son that he adopted. If we were to split, I would hope that he would find a woman that could love my kids almost as much as I do. I don't think anyone could ever love them as much as I do (LOL) but, all mothers think that way.

Now....... do I want my kids to call someone else momma, heck no! Would it be okay if they loved her like momma, heck yeah! If that makes any sense. In order to raise healthy well rounded kids, I think have loving parents whether from one family or split families is essential.

 

[debilorrah]

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None of them call me mom. They are adults. They know who their mother is. And no I cannot love them the way their mother does with the exception of the youngest. Their birth mother is currently in jail because SHE called the cops because she was being stalked by an invisible person and was arrested for possession. I need not say more on THAT one. However, the "mother" of topic doesn't even like me calling the meth heads kids mine!! Go figure.

 

[202roosterlane]

I have 3 sep children ages 25, 29, 30. I call them "our children" . They know I call them my sons. My daughter is 24. She is fine with it. The boys' mom was bother with it the first 10 years but once she bother to get to know me I think she understood I was not trying to replace her. They do not call me mom but do remember me on mothers day. I think it is really up to the kids considering they are adults now. It would be different if they would be 3.

 

[ChickenScratchin]

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None of them call me mom. They are adults. They know who their mother is. And no I cannot love them the way their mother does with the exception of the youngest. Their birth mother is currently in jail because SHE called the cops because she was being stalked by an invisible person and was arrested for possession. I need not say more on THAT one. However, the "mother" of topic doesn't even like me calling the meth heads kids mine!! Go figure.

Oh well hell...why didn't you say so. She's on drugs. Ignore what moron says.

( I just realized that might look sarcastic. I'm totally serious...ignore her.)

 

[Elite Silkies]

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None of them call me mom. They are adults. They know who their mother is. And no I cannot love them the way their mother does with the exception of the youngest. Their birth mother is currently in jail because SHE called the cops because she was being stalked by an invisible person and was arrested for possession. I need not say more on THAT one. However, the "mother" of topic doesn't even like me calling the meth heads kids mine!! Go figure.

My step kids mother is in prison for meth, so I know where your at on that one. It's sad, that a parent would deny a child love, esp. from someone that truly loves them. I can't even say that I would be totally against my kids calling another woman mom, if that woman loved my kids and my kids loved her enough to call her mom. It might take getting some use to

That mother should be greatful that your husband married you, and you actually love those kids. I see that she is a very selfish person. She is feeding her need, but hurting her children.

On a side note, I think their are women that can love children more than their own mother does. Any mother that could be so selfish to take away love from a child or try to make them feel guilty for loving another (mother, because that is what we are), doesn't love them with all of her heart. I don't even think I'm making sense here

!

 

[JulieNKC]

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x2
My parents divorced a few years ago. While I'm too old for a new mommy or daddy(I'm 30) I'm very glad the new signifigant others have stepped in and are part of my children's life. As far as I'm concerned, you can never have enough family.

 

[codymax2]

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Good Lord. You said what I felt was rude to say and is true.

 

[redhen]

I would respect the real mothers wishes. Just my opinion..
Why cause problems? Whats the point of that?

They are her kids... and i feel that should always be respected.
She has a right to her feelings. Sure she may be a wacked out druggie. Doesnt mean she doesnt love her kids any less than you love your bio-son.
And it doesnt mean that you cant still love and care about them. Does it?
You're not even legally married to Ken. (maybe she feels that way because of that??. Dumb reason, but who knows WHAT shes thinking...

.) You dont have to deal with this problem because your sons father isnt around (his loss!)... but i would think about your past problems and how YOU would feel if the shoe were on the other foot, and you were still having problems. Avoid any drama. Give the mother that much respect. (even if she does NOT deserve it!.

..)
Just my opinion, as usual..

 

[mississippifarmboy]

Can I throw a man's prospective in here?

My ex and I divorced after catching her .....

just not going there tonight, but we were not on good terms for many years.
Anyway, she did remarry a great guy and she had custody of our kids at that time. My kids were young at the time, I think 5 and 7.
They called both myself and the new husband Dad. The first time or two I was just a bit jealous. But then I realized that he was a good man and was being a very good Dad to my kids in a situation where I wasn't around as much as I wanted to be. I'm proud to say that in November when my daughter marries, BOTH of us are walking her down the isle.


I'm older now and I'll admit I'm crazy, but I personally don't have a problem with it. I thank God that someone with some morals and sanity was in thier lives at that point in time.



I can see the points made by Taz and some of the other posters though. I guess it's a personality thing with me. If he had been a bad person it might have bothered me more.


jmho, your milage may vary.

 

[redhen]

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