Okay... Here it is... Warning it's a bit of a rant, I need to get it off my chest... and maybe get a few opinions, maybe I'm not seeing something. Background: I grew up with "V". I've literally know him since I was 8. We did date for about a year... 15 years ago. Things didn't end well but I chalked it up to my pregnancy (not his, that happened before we started dating) and the fact that he was still hurting from his marriage not working out. We ended up being able to stay friends at that point. Fast forward to 3 years ago. We started dating again. I realized many years ago that I did love this guy with heart and soul, so I was thrilled that we got back together. Keep in mind we both had marriages in between and heartache and all that good stuff. Unfortunately, he couldn't let go of his past and always brought it up, even as far as accusing me of cheating just because I didn't answer the phone. Controlling would be a good word to use. But I tried to understand cause things weren't good and I've known him for so long. I couldn't mention any of the BS I've dealt with because he didn't like being compared to my ex-hubby... never mind the fact that he could bring up his past BS. But I dealt with it. We planned on a future, Had 2 loans together (I payed them but am now in default, going for bankruptcy). I helped him rebuild his business and help get him into that 18 wheeler he's in now. We broke up last August, and there's not a day that goes by that I don't miss him or think about him. I've somewhat moved on and am in a relationship with a great guy.... but... but... but... "V" still calls from time to time. I haven't been answering the phone, it's too darn painful to hear his voice. It seems like he wants to start back up but, he can't just spit it out. Problem is I don't trust him... He was supposed to be sending money for the 2 loans and he didn't. I paid out 800 a month by myself and it was hard as hell... I took every extra hour at work to cover those loans and my own bills. It was not easy on my boys. He went and bought a 2009 Harley 3 months ago and was ticked at me that I wasn't happy for him when he called me to tell me about it..... He just left me a text on my phone... that he has no clue why he keeps giving me chances... Chances for what? I know I'm rambling a bit, but what do I do? I'm tempted to change my phone number this weekend, but yet I keep hoping he will pull his head out of his A** and grow up so that in the future I can have my heart and soul back.... I'm not kidding it still feels like there is a hole there... a year later. Opinions? Thoughts? Advice? Please?