I just don't understand some people...

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by DarkUnicorn, Aug 17, 2010.

  1. DarkUnicorn

    DarkUnicorn Songster

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    Okay... Here it is...

    Warning it's a bit of a rant, I need to get it off my chest... and maybe get a few opinions, maybe I'm not seeing something.

    Background:

    I grew up with "V". I've literally know him since I was 8. We did date for about a year... 15 years ago. Things didn't end well but I chalked it up to my pregnancy (not his, that happened before we started dating) and the fact that he was still hurting from his marriage not working out. We ended up being able to stay friends at that point.

    Fast forward to 3 years ago. We started dating again. I realized many years ago that I did love this guy with heart and soul, so I was thrilled that we got back together. Keep in mind we both had marriages in between and heartache and all that good stuff.

    Unfortunately, he couldn't let go of his past and always brought it up, even as far as accusing me of cheating just because I didn't answer the phone. Controlling would be a good word to use. But I tried to understand cause things weren't good and I've known him for so long.

    I couldn't mention any of the BS I've dealt with because he didn't like being compared to my ex-hubby... never mind the fact that he could bring up his past BS. But I dealt with it.

    We planned on a future, Had 2 loans together (I payed them but am now in default, going for bankruptcy). I helped him rebuild his business and help get him into that 18 wheeler he's in now.

    We broke up last August, and there's not a day that goes by that I don't miss him or think about him. I've somewhat moved on and am in a relationship with a great guy....

    but... but... but...

    "V" still calls from time to time. I haven't been answering the phone, it's too darn painful to hear his voice. It seems like he wants to start back up but, he can't just spit it out.

    Problem is I don't trust him... He was supposed to be sending money for the 2 loans and he didn't. I paid out 800 a month by myself and it was hard as hell... I took every extra hour at work to cover those loans and my own bills. It was not easy on my boys.

    He went and bought a 2009 Harley 3 months ago and was ticked at me that I wasn't happy for him when he called me to tell me about it.....

    He just left me a text on my phone... that he has no clue why he keeps giving me chances... Chances for what?

    I know I'm rambling a bit, but what do I do?

    I'm tempted to change my phone number this weekend, but yet I keep hoping he will pull his head out of his A** and grow up so that in the future I can have my heart and soul back....

    I'm not kidding it still feels like there is a hole there... a year later.

    Opinions? Thoughts? Advice?

    Please?
     
  2. JetBlack

    JetBlack Songster

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    Stay away. Trust the woman that broke it off with him, back when. It's hard to let go of someone you love.
     
  3. HarlansHollowFarms

    HarlansHollowFarms bana-bhuidseach anns gára

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    Delete his messages, do not answer his calls and truely move on. You will probable never recover any money from this situation, but I am sure eventually you will have learned a valuable lesson
     
  4. slackwater

    slackwater Songster

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    SoMD
    I'm so sorry that you're going through this! It sounds as though you are doing the right thing by distancing yourself from him, though. I'm sure it's hard. It can be very difficult to let go of someone who you have invested so much time, effort and love in. But he doesn't respect you and you need to take care of yourself and your boys. If changing your phone number is what it takes...then that's what you need to do.
     
  5. Anguissette

    Anguissette Songster

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    Go back and read your post as though it were the post of someone else here on BYC, what would YOU tell THEM about a guy like HIM?
     
  6. welsummerchicks

    welsummerchicks Songster

    Jul 26, 2010
    I fell in love with a guy like that once. I introduced him to my mother. When we were leaving, she held me back and he went out and got in the car. She grabbed my arm and gripped it really hard and stared into my face and said, 'If you get involved with him you will be taking care of his messes for the rest of your life'. I was really mad at her, told her I could figure things out for myself and .... turned out she was right.

    There is an old saying - 'When someone shows you who they really are, believe them'.

    Run away, run far, run fast. This guy is a user.
     
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2010
  7. New number absolutely. Maybe he'll take the hint.

    Doesn't seem likely, as for years he's been using you and somehow thinks that you're the lucky one who keeps getting chances, but it could happen...

    To heck with him... leave the past in the past... and give your new guy a nice big [​IMG] just for not being an.... jerk.
     
  8. wildeflowers

    wildeflowers I suspect fowl play!

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    Srsly?[​IMG]

    If you have to ask...
     
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2010
  9. BayouPoules

    BayouPoules Songster

    Would you want your sons to treat a woman like that? We are always being watched by our children and setting examples. What if you had a daughter! What would you tell her to do in your situation?! Praise God for the chance to have nothing more to do with him.
     
  10. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

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    Western MA
    I know its hard.. [​IMG]
    Just appreciate the good man that your with and try to remember WHY you 2 split up.
    People dont usually change that much.. so.. the same problems will just keep coming up.... you'll never get out of it.
     

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