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I Just Realized That Family Is NOT as Important as Friendship :(

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Chickie Mamma, Feb 21, 2009.

  1. Chickie Mamma

    Chickie Mamma Farmer at Heart

    Apr 20, 2008
    Sherman, CT
    Sorry I am ranting, but you guys are always so helpful and I need a "friend" right now. A quick backround : Me and my cousin "D" are the only 2 girls born in our generation. We are 6 years apart. We have always been close although we see each other mostly on holidays etc.
    "D" was my Maid of Honor at my wedding, 7 other close friends in the Bridal Party. This was 10 years ago. "D" is the Godmother to my 8 year old daughter. "D" got married last month (HUGE wedding). Her best friend "M" was her Maid of Honor. "D" had all of my 3 children in the bridal party. My 6 and 8 year old were flower girls and my 3 year old son was the ring bearer along with her hubby's niece and nephew. I was happy she wanted all my kids involved. I was a little hurt that I was not included in the Bridal Party as there were 6 other girls that no one in the family even seen. 1 I knew was a close friend from college. My mother always taught me that family is all that matters. I had Best Friends from school and my friend that I knew from Kindergarten should have been my Maid Of Honor. But "D" was family and my buddy so to me it was the right thing to do to make her my Maid of Honor. According to my mother, the Maid of Honor should be my first born's Godmother. "D" has missed many birthday parties for my kids, whether it be work, or she was on a trip etc. Now here's the problem.. "D"'s best friend "M" is getting married and of course, "D" is her Maid of Honor. My daughter is making her Communion on May 2nd this year ("D"'s Godchild). Now of course there is a problem with the date because they scheduled "M"'s bridal Shower the same day. I cannot change what the church has planned. So in other words, she probably won't be coming to my daughters Communion. Now, am I wrong for being a little angry? Or is it the little bit of jealousy I feel toward "M" ?
    "D"'s mom called me several times today because she is upset and she is trying to figure out a way to work all this out. They cannot change the day of the Bridal Shower because "M"'s grandmother is flying in. I am trying not to let anyone see I am upset, but "M" is getting married in Sept, and there is plenty of time. My mother thinks I am overreacting. So apparently family is NOT as important as friendship, thats what hurts the most. If anyone has experienced anything similar, please share it with me. I need to feel a little better.. going to get a glass of wine [​IMG] Thanks for listening!! Oh, PS... my chicks are doing great now! 7 healthy fuzzy butts.. thats the only thing that I can smile about right now. [​IMG] [​IMG]

  2. dixiechick

    dixiechick Songster

    Been there, done that, have a t-shirt to prove it. I am very much like you...I do what is expected to be the right thing, then am disappointment when others fail to live up to the same expectations.

    I am not sure why she can't do both, just schedule the shower at a different time of day...or just say, I gotta be there for my goddaugther. Sadly, she won't do either, I'm afraid.

    I try to remind myself that relationships don't end, they redefine themselves. I think "D" has been redefining her relationship with you....being she won't change, you will have to find the strength to either move on from it or accept this without being hurt.

    Wish I could share a glass of wine with you and waste our worries away! [​IMG] You deserve better!
  3. Chickie Mamma

    Chickie Mamma Farmer at Heart

    Apr 20, 2008
    Sherman, CT
    Thank you so much Dixie... I just thought we were closer. I guess I was wrong. My daughter is old enough now to start understanding certain things. How to I preach that family is most important when she asks why "D" is not there for her special day? I don't want my kids to think I am a hypocrit. I "clink" my glass to yours.. Thanks !!
  4. dixiechick

    dixiechick Songster

    Family IS what is most important...but sadly your daughter will see that others don't prioritize this...she will hold fast to you....you seem very grounded and maybe this will help your daughter see how real life works so she can avoid being hurt later on....

    cheers to you & the things that really matter [family...even if it's a BYC family member!!!] ! [​IMG]
  5. blossom hen

    blossom hen Songster

    Feb 20, 2007
    NE Tx
    Well, if I had some wine, I'd join you in that glass. I learned this more than 35 years ago. I'm older, so when I got married I was told that my sister had to be my maid of honor, cousins had to be in wedding party, etc. Done! When sis and said cousins got married within the next three years, I was not a part (not even serving cake!) of their weddings because they had so many "best friends" who would be hurt if they got left out!! Like my best friends were not hurt being regulated to pouring punch and serving cake.
    I really understand you being hurt that your daughter is making Communion and her godmother may not be in attendance. Hopefully "D" will see that she really should be there to honor her goddaughter.
    Keep your chin up! [​IMG]
  6. Chickie Mamma

    Chickie Mamma Farmer at Heart

    Apr 20, 2008
    Sherman, CT
    [​IMG] Sometimes a litte reassurance is all we need! [​IMG]
  7. SpottedCrow

    SpottedCrow Flock Goddess

    I HAD to be the Maid of Honour at my twin sister's wedding, even though she was marrying my boyfriend...
    So I hearya and raise a lovely champagne flute containing Diet Coke with Lime.

  8. dixiechick

    dixiechick Songster

    Chickie Mamma,

    ok this is off topic, BUT...your avatar STILL reminds me of Raymond Barone's mother! [​IMG]
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2009
  9. dixiechick

    dixiechick Songster

    Quote:WHAT????? Sister, you need some Rum in your flute!!!!
  10. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    Quote:[​IMG] [​IMG]

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