I keep getting told that I'm a bad parent.

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by gpamela3499, Aug 23, 2012.

  1. gpamela3499

    gpamela3499 Songster

    Feb 26, 2009
    Catawba NC
  2. FirewifeJess

    FirewifeJess Songster

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    Great site, thanks for sharing! My own children are 2, 4, and 6, and I constantly feel like I'm wrong for giving them more freedoms; freedom to run down the street 6 houses down to knock on a friends' door unaccompanied when everyone else walks their children everywhere. Freedom to play on our half acre without being checked on every 5 minutes. Freedom to sit in the car if I have to run in for a second. It's so odd to me that everyone lives in so much fear these days!
     
  3. jak2002003

    jak2002003 Crowing

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    You let your 2 year old run six houses down the street on his/her own? What about cars?

    I agree that people are often over protective of their children and they get a lot of problems from imposing strict rules, like bed times have to be exactly right, the food exactly right, etc etc. This just causes stress to parents and children.

    My kids go to bed when they are tired. If I force them to go to be at 7pm and they are wide awake what use is that? Also if they are tired the next day from going to bed too late they will go to bed earlier and sleep longer the next night.

    I will also take my 4 month old child out to the bar till late at night. She will just be happy and go to sleep on my knee. Both my children are very confident, and well behaved and are not shy. They love to sleep over at other friends houses and they are not clingy or insecure.

    If they don't eat their meals then I don't force them. But they can't have a snack in between, so they will eat well the next meal. I never force them to eat foods they really don't like, and I make sure they get a balanced diet, but they can also eat candy and ice cream as treats.
     
  4. downsm75

    downsm75 Songster

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    I have been ridiculed for YEARS because my kids are independent. I GUARANTEE you, they will be independent ADULTS because of it. I DO have rules, and my kids DON'T lie about where their going, whay their doing or who their with. My oldest is about to turn 21. He works two jobs and is in college. My two daughters are following his foot steps (junior and senior in high school). I did SOMETHING right, because my kids aren't afraid of their OWN decisions.
     
  5. FirewifeJess

    FirewifeJess Songster

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    Yes, I do. He is aware of cars (though we live at the end of a long cul de sac and there are rarely any cars anyway) and moves out of the street when he sees them.
     
  6. cassie

    cassie Crowing

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    The other day I was comparing the way I grew up and the way so many kids are raised today. I am so thankful my mother let me do what she did. When I was four I would ride my pony all over for hours all by myself. I don't remember any restrictions about where I could and could not ride. We lived on a small farm and I would play outside all day long without any direct supervision from an adult. My mother knew that if something was wrong, the dog would tell her. I regularly rode the train by myself from La Grande to visit relatives in Portland, Oregon, or to visit my aunt in Nampa, Idaho. The conductor would keep an eye on me, but I knew where to get off the train. When I was about 8, we moved to Portland, OR. I regularly took the bus by myself to see the dentist. I never had any trouble getting there and back even though I had to transfer buses. I would also take the bus to visit my aunts or my grandmother who lived across town. I read a quote not long ago that made a lot of sense to me. It said that too many parents work so hard at protecting their children from the world that they don't teach their children how to live in it.
     
  7. My cousin is totally sheltered and won't even ask a store clerk for help because of "stranger danger". And he's a teenager.

    My grandma on his side is horrified because I hangout at the bar at my parent's restaurant, take care of my bro a lot, and go over to my neighbors and take them eggs and hang out a lot. They think I'm going to be a messed up adult because I'm exposed to people who are drunk, chew tobacco, or whatever else. I feel like seeing people get messed up only makes me not want to be that way. Because I've witnessed people get drunk and do dumb things, I don't want to ever make those mistakes with my life. And my neighbors are some of the nicest people you will ever meet, but I would have never have met them if I didn't ride my bike over there to take them some eggs and say hi. They invite me and my family over for dinner all the time, and she is convinced that they're going to abduct me or I'm going to get hit on the road.

    She has taught my cousin to be scared of people and the world around him, so now he is. He sits in his house and plays video games all day. They have no idea who their neighbors are, and runs away when people say hi to him.

    Point is, if you shelter your kids their whole lives they're just going to be scared of people and make bad decisions because they have never witnessed the consequences. And that's my 2 cents. :)
     
  8. sourland

    sourland Broody Magician

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    The world today is far different from the one that I grew up in. In my world we knew everyone in town and freedom was a given. At 3 or 4 I was allowed to go wherever I wanted, and most of my time was spent wandering throughout the Sourland Mt. My method of getting places was walking, riding my bike, or hitch hiking. Basicaly my kids were raised the same way - except for the hitch hiking, that was a NO NO. I had one bad experience with a guy who gave me a ride and one bad experience with a druggy that I gave a ride to. This changed my mind about hitch hiking and hitch hikers. In today's world many no longer know their neighbors, it seems as if there is a lot more weirdness going on out there, and in many areas parents must exert more control over their children to assure their safety. It's a deccision every family must reach and is dependent upon the environment in which the family resides.
     
  9. cassie

    cassie Crowing

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    Actually, the world isn't nearly as different as people believe it is. Statistically, things are not any more dangerous now than they ever were. An exception may be large cities and where gang activity is prevalent. Bad things have always happened. The difference is media coverage. In times past, when bad things happened, you just didn't hear as much about them as you do now. Now, you hear everything. And bad news and sensational crime news sells newspapers and advertising. As a result, the extensive and widespread coverage changes people's perceptions. People think the world is a more dangerous place than it used to be, (whether it is or not) and act accordingly.
     
    2 people like this.

  10. I agree. My overprotective g-ma spends all of her time watching crime show dramas and news shows. She was actually in the middle of one when she brought up the fact that our doors are usually unlocked. Guess what the plot was? Break in and kidnapping. Go figure.
     

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