I knew I opened Pandora's box

[key west chick]

Well, as many of you know, my 20 year old DD decided she wanted my help to meet her biological father, a man she hasnt seen in 17 years. I was fine with it. We were very young when she was born, and never married.(pretty much my choice) So, a few weeks ago, I contacted him. He was delighted she wanted to meet him. Long story short, the 3 of us have been to eat several times, he offered her a part time job ( shes been looking for months) and they are talking about her staying with him the days she works. I'm happy they are both happy. DH adopted DD after we were married and has raised her like his own. DH and I have been separated for the last 2 years and he has not been there for her like he was. The big problem? Me. I clearly still have a thing for this guy, even after all these years. DH and I will be divorced soon and I have gotten to wondering about the old flame and me. I feel like I'm 19 again, and dating him all over. He's been divorced for 2 years now. I'm trying to take things slow, I dont know how he feels. The other day he hugged me so hard I thought he would squish me. Uggg, why must love be so complicated?

 

[chickaddict]

Because if it was too easy it wouldn't be worth it, good luck with this one.

 

[NancyDz]

I think it's really cool that you were able to get your daughter and her dad reunited and the possibility of a relationship him after all this time... well that's cool too. Not sure what to say here other than take it slow... it sounds like you are doing the right things so far. Don't push it, if it was meant to be it will happen for you guys.

Good luck!

Nancy

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

So far you have handled this in a mature fashion focused on what was best for your daughter. Good for you!!

So, as for you? Well, what made you end the relationship then? Have any of those things changed?

Other than the growing up physically anyway and the gray hair??

 

[key west chick]

Oh yes, things have changed big time. He was barely 20 and in boot camp when I found out I was pregnant. I was living in Fla and his home was in Ga. I knew it would never work for us so I told him I didnt need him in our life. I thought that would be best for everyone. When DD was 2, I moved back to Ga and gave it another shot. Still no go. He was still immature and not ready to handle being a father. I met DH about a year later and we were married. He adopted her and her bio dad never was in the picture, though we lived in the same town. Now, her bio dad regrets the way he handled things and is thrilled to have this chance. He never had anymore children, shes it. I really never intended to feel this way again, but I guess I should have known. But, the new relationship between the 2 of them is my priority, if anything happens between us, it happens.

 

[theOEGBman]

I wish you the best of luck. My grandparents married when my grandma was 15 and my grandpa was 20. They raised 5 children together, divorced for 18 and a half years and remarried in 2001. They were together until my grandpa passed away this January. He remarried and had 2 children in those 18 years, but God knows who you are meant to be with. Good luck with everything and I'm glad your daughter was able to reunite with her father.

 

[mom'sfolly]

My only recomendation is to be very cautious with your daughter's feelings. She is building a relationship with her bio dad, and may see you as competition if you and her dad reconnect. She may also have issues with you starting a relationship that is not with her dad, your ex-husband. Good luck with everything.

 

[debilorrah]

Stranger things have happened........

 

[Blondie]

Sounds like you have a story to tell Debiraymond............

 

[HennysMom]

I wouldnt call it opening Pandora's box at all... I'd call it a possible second chance at love...

as DebiR said.. stranger things have happened

See it as a blessing and not as a curse my dear

you never know what each new day brings to you.