I'm worried for my cousin...

[Lothiriel]

I am getting concerned for one of my cousins. We don't get together very much because we don't live close, and all but one of my cousins have never been very open, and it's so hard to talk to them about ANYTHING. So it would be hard for me to talk to her about this.

The basics of the problem are these: She's a year older than me, and a freshman in college. She grew up in a "Christian" school (I have some serious doubts about the actual benefits of the school... girls getting pregnant while in highschool, bad language, questionable behavior, etc.) and just graduated. As soon as she got out, she got a bunch of facial piercings and went vegetarian and is even skinnier than she was before (I personally think she and one of her sisters have bulimia). She just looks like she doesn't take care of her body. And now she's planning to get a tatoo... a huge bouquet of flowers on her chest, with the stems starting down near her bellybutton and the flowers going up like a sweetheart neckline at the top. (My mom tried telling her she'll regret it when she gets married or gets old...

)

Back in September they came to our house for a visit and I noticed that she had red lines on her wrists and forearm. I didn't see them very well because she was in the process of pulling down her hoodie sleeve, so I wasn's positive what they were. I told my sister and mom about it and they optimistically passed it off as pen, since in her school it was popular to draw on yourself with pens and markers and stuff. Well, the other day we all had a Christmas gathering and my sister saw them this time. Now that she's seen them, she is worried as well that our cousin is either into drugs or cutting herself.

The lines look kind of like this (I drew these with a pink gel pen...

)

Should I be worried? Should I not? Could these lines really be pen? Or are they real? If they are real, are they from drugs or from cutting? What should I do....

 

[danielle82]

I would be concerned, I think it looks like "cutting" .

 

[Knock Kneed Hen]

I'd be worried. Unfortunately, she's an adult so all you can do is talk to her about your concerns. If she has a loving and supportive family you could approach them and see if you can speak to her together. Perhaps her parents can get her to seek counseling. All you can do is try. If she doesn't accept help there's not much else you can do.

 

[Nicola]

If they are red and scabby looking or like a risen bump like you would get with a cat scratch it would be cutting, some don't cut to bleed, some just scrape to get a red welt ( no scaring.)

 

[chickened]

Cutting is not uncommon for someone doing meth. I understand your concerns for your cousin but you really have no control over what they CHOOSE to do. Some people learn from others mistakes and some have to learn from their own... hopefully your cousin will learn. I am sorry. Those look like cutting not tracks.

 

[Kevin565]

If they were in that pattern I'd believe it is most likely a case of cutting.

 

[hdowden]

i would be worried that looks like it is 100% cutting. i have a friend who has mental problems and cutting is included. there are different reasons for cutting. my friend cuts to "feel" the pain. while some cut to get attinon. it could be eaither of these reasons but it is something that should not be inored and shurgged off. you can try talking to her but if all else fails you might need to call someone for profesional help as it can become deadly. for my friend over the course of a year he has constantly been cutting deeper and deeper just to feel the pain.

 

[Kevin565]

Try to avoid professional help at first. Also Do NOT mention cutting or the phrases Emo or Goth. I'd start asking if there is anything different going on in her life.

 

[Lothiriel]

Thanks for the input guys. It will be a challenge getting anything out of her... I've tried conversations with her before and asked her how she's been doing, what's going on with college, and get, "I'm good. College is going well. I like it." Next thing you know she's talking to someone else under her breath about how she hates college, classes are too hard, etc. I really wish she was more open with me or at least my sister and would tell the truth, really. We'll see.

And like I said, I wasn't able to see the lines clearly, so I can't say if they were raised and/or scabby.

 

[hdowden]

almost sounds like she has trust issues with her family or she's embaressed about whats going on and affraid mom and dad would be upset if she "failed"...yea profesonal help needs to a last resort unless you really think that her life is in danger, some people wait to long to go to professionals once the "problem" has been seen/noticed and things for that person to them has gotten so bad they think its the only way out. you might also want to try talking to your family more about it or find someone who she trust and tells all to and maybe ask them questions. just keep as close of an "eye" on her and try to start random converstions. you could also try talking to your dr or a counsler for advice on how to get her to open up more to you. again as you said you havent gotten a good look at them and thus you really dont know if they are pen marks or not. if you can go out and visit her some time and take her out to eat or something that could help her open up to you as well.