Do you send your in-laws anniversary gifts every year? Do they send you and your spouse a gift? Kind of a stupid question but my husband and I find ourselves in a quandary. With my parents (who also live a distance away) a card and/or phone call is the norm (gift certificate or flowers for the big milestones). I thought this was pretty much everyone's norm and this is basically how weve been doing things with my in-laws. At one point, we did live in the same town and I think (but I cant actually recall) that we might have given them a small gift too, since we would see each other on their anniversary. Well, this isnt going over so well it seems. DHs mother gets really upset about the fact that we dont send them a gift every year. This really upsets my husband and just plain confuses me so I thought Id get some opinions. Our anniversary is a few weeks after theirs, and they send us a card and put a $20 check in the card. We were hoping that by us not sending them a gift, they wouldnt either, not as any sort of vindictive thing, but just a lets not make this a gift giving thing but of course, we got the $20 check again! So here are our choices, what would you do: a) talk to mother in law (as she seems to be the one with this hang up) about how we aren't trying to slight her, but we just dont really know what to send in the mail that would be suitable, and we really dont do anniversary gifts for people, except on the milestone years b) stand our ground and keep not sending a gift, but continue sending a card and calling them on their anniversary c) send them $20 in a card on their anniversary (which to me just seems crazy to keep passing $20 back and forth but its the option my husband favors!) What would you do? Or should we just be buying expensive gifts and having them shipped to them? (weve tried sending flowers a few times, but she told us not to do that anymore because they dont last!) In general she has very particular ideas about gifts and what is a good gift and what is a bad gift and gets really emotional about this stuff. In short, my husband did not marry a gal just like dear old mom!