Just Sad over what I have to do...Long

[bkreugar]

A few of you may remember me. I have a full arab and 2 half arabs. My daughter and I ride together.The full arab is 23 this month.I bought her as a 3 yr old and broke her myself. At around 7 she was kicked in the field and took 2 years off.She was then sound but had a big knee. Vet said he would be fine till arthritis set in.My daughter (now 11) rode the mare from the time kid was 2 till 8/9 when she moved onto what was my horse.We retired Kandi as she was no longer sound and knew she would live out her days here.Last April I bought myself a 1/2 arab so DD and I could go back to riding together.

We talked with the vet a good bit about pain management.Vet did NOT want to do daily bute as she thought mare could have YEARS left.She pushed legends at 600.00 a year I passed.Last thursday as we were getting ready for school (I am the crossing guard at DD's school) mare STAGGERED about 10-15 feet and collapsed on her side.Laying flat down.We run out there as I think the mare died.No she didn;t die but she is breathing shallow and slow.She is shaking everywhere!I tell DD I think she IS dieing and we need to call vet and have her put down.

So I call in, call vet and tell her I think she needs to be put down.DD is distraught but not hysterical.I AM SOOOO mad that this is the day and I didn't get to give her any bute along the way for her arthritis.Her rear diagonal leg had been bothering her.Vet comes, takes her vitals and says she will put her down IF I want but she thinks the mare just fell due to age.DD then is SOOO relieved we don;t have to do it then.SO we get mare back up and she says bute 2x daily from now on and I can go as high as 2 grams a,m, and p.m. if one doesn;t help.She says mare's hip muscle is atrophying and mare will get weaker and weaker.How long I ask?? Months vet says.She leaves me with a container of powder bute.

Since then mare is dragging her back hoofs a little mre each day.Like she is not picking up her hips high enough and therefore the hoofs almost to the coronet band are dragging when she moves.Mare is eating , but nt with gusto and to me looks tired and depressed.So I am trying to get DD to see the truth of it.She is of course not wanting to see it.SHe thinks she will have the summer,I don;t think it will be that long.

I am also disagreeing with my DH. I do not think we will be able to bury her here as he promised. we have 7 acres but a part of my land is in the city and they own and easement that houses water lines.Therefore she can not be buried anywhere near that.Then you have a stream and the side of a mountain.Not suitable for buriel.The fornt of the property runswith the road, therefore t can be seen from the road.It IS illeagal to bury a horse here.Vet says they do not report, but Dh says it is unethical as well as illegal and there is very little area to do it any way.He wants to have her hauled off by a fertilizer company.He has not talked to DD yet.He is going to do that tommorow.SO it is a mess.A not happy mess.

I almost wish we had just done it last week, as now I see her going downhill.Mostly I just want DH, me and DD to get on the same page about putting her down, and disposal.I have put down old horses before, but never had this situation where I have to consider DD and now I have disposal to contend with.UGH!!!I doubt you guys could give advice, but I feel better writing it all down a little bit anyway.

Just so sad abut the whole thing!

 

[calicokat]

Being the grownup sucks at times like this! No advice here, others might chime in soon though.

For now, sending lots and lots of hugs!

 

[1stepcloser]

Wow. What a mess...I am so sorry.

a) As far as being illegal to bury a pet horse, the county could kiss my butt. Do what makes you feel better. Just remember her little horse soul is not in the body, she will be over the rainbow quite happy regardless of what you decide to do when the time comes.

b) It sounds like your vet doesn't have the heart to put her down, which is unfortunate because he/she isn't the one who has to watch her suffer a little each day. I don't think you would be wrong to call and insist she be put down if you choose.

c) Your daughter will need guidance from you about learning to accept death. She may not want to see it but it is our jobs to show them anyways (at least by demonstrating through our actions). One day she will be grown, faced with the same tough decision, and will reflect that you put the horse's happiness above your own sense of loss...and then she will do the right thing too.

I hope things get better soon.

 

[HorseFeatherz NV]

for you and your family.

for your mare.

I have had horses, Arabians in particular all my life - I am 40. In 2006, I had to put down my 30 year old mare - with me since she was 2 and I miss her so much - there are no words; while I am lucky to have her daughter - it is just not the same. This Jan. I put another down, he was only 25, with me since he was 3 - but like your mare was starting to battle arthritis and muscle degeneration.

I am sorry your vet does not seem to be working with you, makes it much harder. When I made the appointment for my 25 year old gelding, I told my vet I did not want it to be an emergency; I prefered to do it when I was prepared and my DH could dig the hole (we do and can bury here, luckily). My gelding was getting unsteady on his feet and sometimes would fall while sleeping, he no longer would lay down - cause of the troubles he had getting back up. Just before Christmas, I looked into his eyes and could see he "was not there" - the joyous, mischief maker had been replaced by a cloud of pain (yes, even on bute 2x a day - 2 grams am and 2 pm) and I knew I could not make him stay with me any longer.

Buy a box or two of sugar cubes and a couple bags of apples/carrots, make an appointment with the vet, and spoil her rotten until the appointment. Cry, rant, rave - hug her, brush her, more hugs and enjoy a couple special days with her.

 

[bkreugar]

Thanks guys.I really appreciate that you get what I am trying to say. Yea in the past I DID make appointments when it wasn;t an emergency and did it that way. It is SOOO much tougher when it is not just me and the mare to consider.

DD has been out there brushing and braiding her every day which DOES make the mare happier.

Yes I do think the vet just wanted to put it off.She is young just 3 years out of school and I think she thought either it was just too soon or if it wasn;t today maybe she wouldn't have to be the one to do it.

If had been just ME I still would have done it then, but my dd clung to he words like a liferaft!

 

[la dee da]

No advice, but I know what you're going through (went through something similar with the vet assistant, lucky for me it was only the assistant). Good luck to you and your family

.

 

[Skyesrocket]

I told my vet I did not want it to be an emergency;

When it can be done like this it does make it easier. It is so hard to lose an old and dear friend.

I'm currently going through the same thing with my granddaughter and my very first rat terrier that has cancer. It is time for the dog to rest in peace and any mention of it and my granddaughter just goes crazy. I'm torn between doing the right thing by the dog and being the one responsible for taking the dog away from her. She isn't looking at it like the cancer is taking her away....she keeps saying it's me that is going to have her murdered.

In the end I will do what is right by the dog.​

 

[TriciaHowe]

Sorry you are having to do this. Sometimes, as you are aware I am sure, saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do. I am fortunate that with both horses we had PTS everyone was on the same page. It certainly wasn't easy, but couldn't imagine how I would feel if someone was trying to guilt me out of the right decision. Both of mine are buried on my property but we also have a renderer that a LOT of people around here use. He also offers non-chemical euthansia (bullet). He is an exceptionaly nice and compasionate person and I almost called him when we had last put to sleep but vet was already in route.

Anyhow, I am so, so sorry..... I hope you are able to get them on board soon....

 

[lockedhearts]

This is always the most difficult thing to do. 3 Years ago I put down my 32 year old broodmare. I owned her for ten years and I am good friends with the first owner.
It took me over a year to finally get the courage to make the vet appointment, I cried, vet cried, previous owner cried.
If someone had told me I could not bury her where I did, they would have been smacked into next month!
Vets can tell you physically how an animal is doing, but you see them everyday and you are a better judge of their quality of life.
My mare had bowed legs in the front (she was a weaver), her hips were shot from having lots of foals but despite that she was in relatively good physical shape. The thing that tore me up was that she lost her mind, she literally would get lost in the yard. The last 3 years of her life she stayed loose on our property, it was safer for her.

I am sorry you have to go through this, time will make it better, but it still hurts!

 

[SilkieTime]

This is so so so hard for me to read. I still can't tell my story.

You know how people are cremated and lets say bugs can't get them. Could that be done for you on your land?
There just isn't any word to tell how you feel. I know.