Jut have to get this out somewhere

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by MamaMarcy, Jan 31, 2012.

  1. MamaMarcy

    MamaMarcy Chillin' With My Peeps

    879
    5
    121
    Aug 28, 2011
    Snohomish, WA
    My husband is driving me nuts. Lately he's rude, ungrateful, unhelpful, and just plain .... driving me bananas.

    Yes, honey, everything wrong in your life is my fault. It's my fault you forgot your keys. It's my fault you hate any job you have. It's my fault...all of it.





    and he wonders why I love my chickens so much...they don't BLAME ME FOR THINGS!
     
  2. Oregon Blues

    Oregon Blues Overrun With Chickens

    5,532
    187
    273
    Apr 14, 2011
    Central Oregon
    Making sympathetic noises, because I don't have any good solution for self-centered partners.
     
  3. Oregon Blues

    Oregon Blues Overrun With Chickens

    5,532
    187
    273
    Apr 14, 2011
    Central Oregon
    By the way, not meaning to scare you, but how unusual is this behavior? My ex went insane and one of the first symptoms was that he would fly into unreasonable, unprovoked rages. It was a very noticeable change because he had always been very cheerful, tolerant, and good natured.

    Probably what you are experiencing is no more than bad moods, but pay attention. To start out, I suggest the heart to heart talk where you explain to him that he is being boorish. Occasionally, that will work.
     
  4. newfoundland

    newfoundland Chillin' With My Peeps

    976
    72
    151
    Jul 1, 2010
    Oh dear tough old time for you. How I hate the blame game. Now I am going to blame parents who bring up their children to avoid responsibility for things that go wrong. My mother used to say, 'Of course, I blame for myself for .......' Now I say the same thing. How those words have smoothed over some upsets over the years!
     
  5. MamaMarcy

    MamaMarcy Chillin' With My Peeps

    879
    5
    121
    Aug 28, 2011
    Snohomish, WA
    It's a cycle I see with him too often, and yes I'm sure parenting had a big impact long-term. I haven't seen him do the blame game with me in awhile, but now he is. Not raging, just irritating me. I'm 99% sure he suffers from depression but he refuses to go on meds. He's barely been sleeping lately with I know is making a HUGE impact. (and my own clinical depression does not help--but at least I'm on meds for it)

    One day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time.
     
  6. sfw2

    sfw2 Global Menace

    [​IMG]
     
  7. SillyChicken

    SillyChicken Overrun With Chickens

    4,758
    150
    276
    Jan 12, 2010
    errrrrrrrrrr.. my DH does the same thing... its far easier for them to use someone else as their scape goat than to face their own inadequacies!
     
  8. RHRanch

    RHRanch Chillin' With My Peeps

    My now EX used to be like that. I think he had depression too, but refused to see anyone or admit that he was having problems. After many years, I just couldn't do it anymore. I know how hard it is to live with that. Hopefully you can get your husband to talk to someone. [​IMG]
     
  9. 1muttsfan

    1muttsfan Overrun With Chickens

    18,974
    1,444
    396
    Mar 26, 2011
    Upper Peninsula Michigan
    My BF occasionally gets a bug up the you-know-what and tries to pick fights with me - I hate this, as I grew up in a home with a lot of strife, and get really uncomfortable around arguments. Thank goodness he is usually a real sweetie and very tolerant of my own occasional bad moods. Hope things get better for you [​IMG]
     
  10. theoldchick

    theoldchick The Chicken Whisperer

    29,009
    5,908
    576
    May 11, 2010
    Yesterday, someone asked me if I had good people skills. My reply was I have been married to the same man for 30 years.

    She smiled, "How do you do it?"

    I said I treat my husband like a friend, not family. I put up with those little irritating things, always listen like I'm interested, and argue about the important things. Apologize when needed. Offer advice when needed.

    And I always keep in the back of my mind: one day he may not be there for me. One day some nut case may take my hubby away from me while he's patrolling the roads. Then, I will see just how good my people skills are.

    When my spouse really gets on my nerves I try to think of all the things he provides for me.
     
    1 person likes this.

BackYard Chickens is proudly sponsored by