The little #@#%$'s were up in the village on Sunday, crapping on people's weber grills, breaking stuff on porches, and generally acting like the gang of miscreants that they are. Okay, background. We live on 26 acres, set far back at the end of a lane, and it is at least 200 yards up a hill from the barn (where the poultry are cooped) to the nearest neighbor. And that house has been vacant since we moved here last year. (I think it is now sold, and I should be getting a neighbor within sight.) There is a cluster of houses (we'll call it "The Village," giving it more credit than it probably deserves), plus the township offices and community center up the hill. There is, at this time, no pasture fence. My fence fund keeps getting diverted into emergency repairs of things that leak water -- roof, basement, plumbing, etc. I intend to put in woven field fencing with a strand of electric top and bottom. This will be sheep fencing. There will be sheep. We have no predator issues, because my dogs -- who are good dogs and stay home -- patrol the property. The chickens stay home. The ducks stay home. Even the miserable guineas stayed home. The turkeys -- 5 Narragansetts, 6 Bourbon Reds, hatch date June 15 -- stayed home until last week. I'd been watching them as they seemed to be pushing the property line. Apparently I wasn't watching them closely enough, as the neighbor who came to tell me they were trying to steal his Christmas lights says he's seen them up in the village before over the past week. When I went up there with right-hand dogs Rosie and Cole to herd them home, they were HALF A KILOMETER from home. Believe me, that's a long way to chase a bunch of turkeys. And they did not go quietly. The neighbors apparently enjoyed the spectacle. They probably do not enjoy the turkey crap on their back decks so much. They are now in turkey prison. This is crowded and unwholesome (10x12 stall with roosts.) And we lose the benefits of free-ranging -- they have been eating mostly forage since I let them out in July, and right now the mast crop is down, and they were eating a lot of acorns, etc. Now, if I had my fence in, I'd wing-clip the little buggers. But I don't. Any suggestions for keeping this gang of vandals closer to home? Tie rocks to their legs?