Ken, Work, Fear, etc.

[debilorrah]

BYC is my sounding board, so I hope y'all put up with this. Ken is home now with no definitive results. My position at work REQUIRES me to be at certain places at certain times. So, of course, when I am gone, I worry about Ken - ALOT.

I am dealing with a new facility construction project at work that has me pulling my hair out, and thankfully, my boss has given permission to be rude if the caller is just stupid or has not researched the project. Nonetheless, I am ready to pull my hair out. It is not in me to be ridiculously rude, though I should be with the amount of stupid questions I am asked about every 4 minutes.

So.... I have Ken I am incredibly worried about, stupid people making me crazy and absolutely no help at all around the house from my son (lazy but brilliant, 20 years old).

How do I balance this????? Without any rude comments about the lazy but brilliant son. I am so tired I can't sleep. I am taking Monday off to mop and vacuum!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[chickaddict]

bubble bath and a stiff drink

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Been there done that, made a fool outta myself. Here on BYC in fact. Thankfully in PM's.....

 

[PortageGirl]

Quote:
Been there done that, made a fool outta myself. Here on BYC in fact. Thankfully in PM's.....

well, maybe a not quite that stiff a drink then! No magical cures for you, but we'll listen and sympathize and laugh and share with you!

 

[debilorrah]

I just feel so beaten down with everything that has gone on!!!! Someone pick me up and feed me strawberries.

 

[danielle82]

I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Thank you. I am at a loss as to handle everything at once right now. A real loss.

 

[sred98]

Can you not tell your son, rather than asking? He sounds a lot like my DD who is also 20. If I ask her to do something to help out, she won't. If I say, "I need you to...........while I finish doing this....." she will, no questions or hesitations. She doesn't live with us, but she was staying with us for a little bit while she looked for an apartment.

I absolutely don't want you to feel like I am trying to tell you how to treat your son, or that I am degrading him in any way. I just wanted to share what worked for me in a similar situation.

Don't demand or ask. Just tell him exactly what you need and why. Such as, "Hey-I need you to switch over the laundry for me, and do you mind folding the towels that come out of the dryer? I have to take your dad to an appointment." Or, "Can you do me a HUGE favor? I need you to throw a roast in the crockpot. Everything's already laid out, just put it on low at X o'clock."

Usually, they imagine the favor is a lot bigger than it actually is, and mine was always relieved it wasn't "Scrub the house from top to bottom with a toothbrush and vacuum the drapes!" LOL!

Change it up, don't expect them to do anything without specific direction, and don't expect them to do the dishes every night. I would pick one thing every few days that I am really stressing about or that is getting out of control.

I hope that things settle down for you soon. It sounds like you really need a Girls night out, or lunch date with someone other than DH or DS. Not discussing work, Ken, or anything else. Maybe just sneak off for a pedicure or movie? Not everyday, but maybe once every week or two? Just take some "Me Time."

Shelly

 

[debilorrah]

Sred - When I tell him, he does... That is the GOOD part. He is 20 and I have been going through HELL!!!! One would THINK he would understand that. But no. If I tell him he does it, but what do I remember to tell him when I am focused on what the docs have to say!!!! LOL!

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
I need me time..... I really do.