Kids say the darndest things!

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by Frizzledhen, Dec 14, 2008.

  1. Frizzledhen

    Frizzledhen Spear Gunnin' Coons

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    If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children ' s science exam answers

    Q: Name the four seasons.
    A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

    Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
    A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

    Q: How is dew formed?
    A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

    Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
    A: Keep it in the cow.

    Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
    A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

    Q: What are steroids?
    A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

    Q: What happens to your body as you age?
    A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

    Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
    A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

    Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
    A: Premature death.

    Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
    A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

    Q: What is the fibula?
    A: A small lie.

    Q: What does ' varicose ' mean? (I do love this one...)
    A: Nearby.

    Q: Give the meaning of the term ' Caesarian Section. '
    A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome

    Q: What does the word ' benign ' mean? '
    A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

    Kids Are Quick

    TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
    MARIA: Here it is.
    TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
    CLASS: Maria.
    ____________________________________

    TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ' crocodile? '
    GLEN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L '
    TEACHER: No, that ' s wrong
    GLEN: ! Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
    ____________________________________________

    TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
    DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
    TEACHER: What are you talking about?
    DONALD: Yesterday you said it ' s H to O.
    __________________________________

    TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn ' t have ten years ago.
    WINNIE: Me!
    _________________________________________

    TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ' My Dog ' is exactly the same as your brother ' s. Did you copy his?
    CLYDE : No, sir. It ' s the same dog.
    ___________________________________

    TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
    HAROLD: A teacher.
     
  2. sunnydee

    sunnydee Chillin' With My Peeps

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    [​IMG] This was cute. Thanks for sharing.
     
  3. Lothiriel

    Lothiriel Overrun With Chickens Premium Member

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    My Coop
    Those were great! Thanks, Frizzledhen! [​IMG]
     
  4. The Chicken Lady

    The Chicken Lady Moderator Staff Member

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    West Michigan
    I should post some of the things I get asked by my ninth graders. Here's one from this week.

    STUDENT #1: And my mom's from Puerto Rico, which means I'm part Spaniard and part Italian.

    STUDENT #2: Spaniard? Isn't that a type of dog?

    ME (dryly): I think the word you're looking for is Spaniel.
     
  5. Chirpy

    Chirpy Balderdash

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    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  6. conroy

    conroy Chillin' With My Peeps

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    [​IMG]
     
  7. Ugly Cowboy

    Ugly Cowboy Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 25, 2008
    Corn, OK
    LOL Thats great!
     
  8. SuperChicken007

    SuperChicken007 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    A father and a son are in an elevator, when the son asks the father something.

    "No!" the father replies.

    This happens several times in the same elevator.
    When the son asks for the tenth time, the father explodes and says "NO! WE CAN'T GO UP TO TO THE TOP FLOOR THE WAY SUPERMAN DOES IT!" [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2008
  9. Frizzledhen

    Frizzledhen Spear Gunnin' Coons

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    Feb 17, 2007
    Michigan
    I am sure as mothers and fathers we all have had moments where our kids have said the darndest things. But teachers, I am sure, get to hear and read the most of the darndest that kids say. I wish I had kept a journal of my kids and the darndest things they came up with. Glad you all enjoyed it and hope it brought back some memories of your own families.
     

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