Letter to Santa

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by skand, Nov 7, 2008.

  1. skand

    skand Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 29, 2008
    Odessa, Tx
    Dear Santa,
    I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18years. Here are my Christmas wishes: I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple,which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze,but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprintresistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone. On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, 'Yes,Mommy' to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting 'Don't eat in the living room' and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog. If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating
    food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.
    Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leavecrumbs on the carpet.
    Yours Always, MOM
    ... P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young
    enough to believe in Santa.
     
  2. baldie

    baldie Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 25, 2008
    Douglas, MA
    I love it!!! That is sooo true!! Any one of those things on the list would work for me!!! Cute, thanks for posting it, I got a good laugh!!
    Chrissie
     
  3. Cabe

    Cabe Chillin' With My Peeps

    104
    0
    119
    Aug 7, 2007
    Florida
    I had to tell my youngest the truth about Santa this year. All the magic seems to be gone now. [​IMG]
     
  4. skand

    skand Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 29, 2008
    Odessa, Tx
    now why would ya go and ruin that? My great aunt Pauline told everyone, when you are too old to believe in Santa, you are too old for presents, only socks and undies...I STILL BELIEVE!! Even though, I only get socks and undies if I remember to buy, and wrap them. [​IMG]
     

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