Hi! Welcome to the thread and thank you for sharing your life experiences!Hmmm, I see a few names I recognize in here (hi @BelovedBirds !). Guess I'll introduce myself as some might be a bit confused about some of my replies in various threads.
I'm 55, ftm trans leaning towards non-binary. All my life, I was different. I would prefer to hang out with the guys and avoided any 'girly' stuff. I tried to fit in, asked for a doll for Christmas (that was boring), but preferred my Millennium Falcon.The wallpaper in my room was spaceships and planets. My folks knew there was something different about me but accepted me for who I am, especially my mom (I am so grateful to her for that!). Back then, being trans was not understood where I grew up, so I just lived every day as best I could, not knowing what was 'wrong' with me.
I'd had clues for years, but still didn't really know about being transgender. I tried dressing more 'girly', that didn't work. Hanging out with women was never something I sought out, finding that I had so little in common with them. It took me until I was in my mid-40s, and playing an MMORPG, to finally figure it out. I belonged to a guild in this game that was very open and accepting. Several of the members were openly LGBT and slowly it began to dawn on me what had been bugging me my whole life. In fact, they were the first I came out to.
The hardest part was telling my husband. He was surprisingly accepting of it until I started telling our mutual friends. I needed to let people know. But that's when he realized that he could not remain in a relationship with another guy. He's still my strongest supporter, my best friend, and does still love me in his own way, but I finally came to the realization that we were never getting back together.
I've only gotten support and acceptance whenever I would tell someone, and for that I am blessed. I've heard so many horror stories and can't believe how lucky I've been. The second hardest person to come out to was my mom. My dad had already died several years before, and Mom was in the last stages of cancer at the time. She was a bit confused at first, but when I managed to explain it to her, her first question was: "Does this mean you like girls?" I nearly burst out laughing, and did smile when I replied: "No, Mom. It means I'm gay." She nodded, letting it sink in, and soon enough she was showing articles from the newspaper about trans people and stuff. I miss her so much...
My kids grew up with LGBT rights and my son and youngest daughter just nodded and said "Okay." Oldest daughter didn't completely understand and needed a bit more explaining, and she's the only one that made me cry when she told me that I would always be Mommy to her. Still brings a tear to my eye! I now live with her.
Most of my friends are online. I don't socialize much in person, and after my mom's death I cut ties with my brother and sister (long story, has nothing to do with being trans). I was pretty much resigned to the fact I would be single for the rest of my life.
I'm in a Dungeons and Dragons group where we play over Discord, a chat program. Just to avoid confusion with some of the things that I would say, I told them I was trans and no one batted an eye. We'd been playing together for over a year, and I would chat with some of them privately/out of game, too. Well, things started getting a bit more serious with one of them, and now, even though we still haven't met in person, I have a boyfriend. Being in different countries (he's in the States, I'm in Canada) is tough, but he's coming to visit in November! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this works out, that we get along in person, but am terrified that it won't!
Anyhow, that's my trans-life story in a big nutshell.
tl;dr: I'm a trans-guy that likes ducks and rabbits, and some chickens, and am willing to help others as they discover themselves.
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