Life Change Time.....

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Minflick, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Minflick

    Minflick Chillin' With My Peeps

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    My DH had congestive heart failure since 2008. He didn't take the best care of himself, and generally puttered along on a general decline over the years. He got worse in the fall, but hid it from me, and then went in to hospital mid-December. I got him out Christmas Eve, but he went back in 2 weeks later, and died on Thursday morning. My daughters stood up and did their part of things, took great care of me, friends and family have come forward and been kind and generous.

    And I'm scared spitless. I can't get the SS survivors benefits for another 3 months, when I turn 60. I can't keep the house on my own income, so I'm going to have to 'think thin' and turn off all the things I can turn off, etc. And ask for help from my kids, which makes me cringe! This is terrifying. He died at 63, which is way young, and I am a widow at 59, which is flipping preposterous!

    Melinda
     
  2. Ol Grey Mare

    Ol Grey Mare One egg shy of a full carton. ..... Premium Member

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    There are simply no words to say how very sorry I am for your loss.
    Ask for and take the help you need - those that love you want to help you right now....let them.
     
    2 people like this.
  3. lazy gardener

    lazy gardener True BYC Addict

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    Melinda, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Accept the help that your family is able to provide. You've spent years of your life being a care taker. Time to let some one else help you. Is there some one close to you who you can ask for financial advice? Any option for a home improvement loan or some such to tie you over for 3 months? Church family?
     
  4. Minflick

    Minflick Chillin' With My Peeps

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    No loan, because I'd have a hell of a time paying it back, I don't earn much... No church family, we're not religious. I think my youngest and her husband may move in with me. It would be nicer housing for them, and we'd draw up a contract with time of stay, monies, utilities, etc. I'd much rather have them than have a total stranger moving in my home.
     
  5. lazy gardener

    lazy gardener True BYC Addict

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    I hope it all works out for you. Take care.
     
  6. 3goodeggs

    3goodeggs pays attention sporadically

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    My condolenses.
    Maybe our prayers will help you in a remarkable way.
    I do hope so.
    [​IMG]
     
  7. sourland

    sourland Broody Magician Premium Member

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    My sincere condolences. I agree with Ol Grey Mare - accept help when it is needed - your turn to 'pass it on' will come. Having family move in with you (on a contractual basis) may be a very good solution for a variety of reasons.
     
  8. 3goodeggs

    3goodeggs pays attention sporadically

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    It occurred to me that you might get some S.S. widow's benefits. Go to your local office and see what is available.
    Google help for widows on low income and see what pops up.
    [​IMG]
     
  9. Minflick

    Minflick Chillin' With My Peeps

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    3goodeggs - not until I turn 60, which is 4 months time. ... ... ... So, I have to figure out how to stay afloat. Also, if there's anyway to not sign up for SS until I turn 66, I'll get a lot more money, which, all things considered, I'd kinda like! I'm supposed to look into a few other things that friends have given me ideas on.

    I'm giving very serious thought to the youngest and her husband moving in. I'll be talking to her about it on Thursday. I'm out in the boonies, not in town, so they'd have to take that into consideration. and I don't really want them moving in, and then discovering that it's just too much of a drive for them! Other than that, I'm not worried, they both have decent jobs.

    Melinda
     
  10. wyoDreamer

    wyoDreamer Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I'm so sorry for your loss, my prayers go out for you. Glad that your kids were there for you during this trying time. Maybe all the goodwill you get from the BYCers will give you strength, this is a very supportive group. Hopefully the kids will be willing to move in and help with the bills for a little while. Do you have space in your house to set up a couple of separate private areas beyond just a bedroom? one area for them and one for you.
     

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