Long vent....I'm fed up.

Discussion in 'Other Pets & Livestock' started by kbarrett, Jul 28, 2008.

  1. kbarrett

    kbarrett Songster

    Nov 12, 2007
    I just need to get this off my chest...DH is tired of my inability to just snap on a long time friend.
    So I have a friend who I've known 20+years. I started out @ 13yo excercizing a couple of horses for him. He doesn't hesitate to call if there's a problem and over the years during times I didn't own a horse or only had rehabs I always have a place to go tack up & ride. Horses are a hobby for him and over the years he's bred a few of his mares. Last April his mare foaled a really nice dk bay colt, IMO one of the nicest foals he's had drop on his farm. At 3 wks old while turning them out in the ring the colt ran ahead and wiped out on asphalt. He called me and described it and I told him to call the vet & I'd be right out. The colt opened up his LF knee, but worse opened up the LR knee..right above the stifle. The vet spent 3 hrs picking out gravel, she semi sutured the rear and put in a drain. There was concern for both knees as to whether they were fractured, splintered or either joint capsules pierced. Due to the locations there was no way to tap them. There was a huge pocket under the skin below the gash. I told my friend if he was going to give him a chance that I would help and I knew full well we were looking at months of recovery. The first 2 months it took me 2 1/2 hrs to clean and flush and rebandage....and make sure my then 4yo son was occupied. There was a point I told him I didn't think he was going to make it, which was at 5 weeks I got a phone call at 1am and had to run out & give an iv shot of banamine & cold bathing to try to bring down a 104.2 temp. He spent the next week of temps spiking and I was worried he was going to quit. Not to mention the huge quantities of antibiotics he'd received at this point, I still wonder about the long term effects on his system. But time passed and after 5 months the front was closed, the pocket was healing from the inside and was considerably smaller. I spent the next 2 months going out every 3rd day to flush and monitor only to have it flare up with pus again...I blamed the filthy stall and told him so. I told him he needed to get the vet back out and have it trimmed and stitched closed as I'd already let the drain holes heal over and I felt the problem was scar tissue at the top. So after repeating this for a couple of more months he had a vet out and they closed it up and castrated him at one shot. So again I was back out EVERY DAY to make sure he was hosed ( the 2yo colt had been done the fall before and I ended up taking care of him because he stopped hosing too early) He took forever to heal from the castration and just a coule of weeks ago I declared myself done.
    Last week my babysitter was on vacation. My friend's daughter-in-law watched my son (I went to school with her) and proceeds to tell me my friend told her to watch out for my son...he's a brat, he wishes he hadn't let me talk him into gelding the colt and I cost him alot of money in supplies. I was too shocked for words. DH travels so with a few exceptions I had to take my son who I will admit can be a brat but you know what there were times I didn't feel like being there either!!! I actually thought he did well overall for as much time he had to spend there. I work on a TB breeding farm, we were at the height of breeding/ foaling season when this happened and this past time when the castration was finally done. During the season I work 7 days a week. Some days the last thing I want to see at the end of the day is another *&%^@! horse. I did lobby hard for the castration.....he may never be 100% sound I would bet a million bucks he will never earn any AQHA points and I don't think pretty is enough reason to breed to an unproven sire or mare for that matter. Any way I just had to vent DH is still mad because he only came over a couple of hours to help with the coop after saying he'd do the bulk of the work as payback for treating the colt. I hope this post is understandable, I haven't been sleeping well due to being ticked/ stressed over this and I'm going to bed now.
    Thanks for letting me vent!
  2. AngelzFyre

    AngelzFyre Songster

    Sep 18, 2007
    Pell City, Alabama
    Wow, you did a lot of work to get that treatment!
    First though, I'd go to this friend of yours and tell him exactly what has got you upset and why. I'd want to hear his side of the story and not rely on the new babysitter's say so about your son.
    Tell the guy honestly and calmly how his actions and criticism have made you feel betrayed and hurt you, and that you were doing what you felt best for him and his horse in the long run.
    If he did say these things about your son and didn't live up to his end of the bargain on help for the coop, at least letting him know how you feel should make you feel better and take away some of the stress. Hopefully he'll apologize and try to remedy the dispute.
    The guy may not even have a clue you're unhappy with the situation.
    20 yrs is a long time of friendship to go by the wayside over something that can be settled by talking it out.
    If he hears you out and doesn't want to fix it to your satisfaction, then at least you know you did the right thing in going to him and he'll know why the friendship has been strained.
    I hope you both work it out!
    I used to do the 7day a week foaling season too when I was working as an equine vet tech, and know what you mean about all day every day and not wanting to even see another horse sometimes, so I admire your dedication and loyalty to trying to do all you could for your friend, especially having your own stuff and family to deal with too. (runon sentence!)
    Good luck and I'm hoping you iron things out soon. [​IMG]
  3. Wolf-Kim

    Wolf-Kim Songster

    Jan 25, 2008
    That man needs to get over having his colt gelded. It's done and over with. The horse market is flooded(!) with horses right now. He could easily spend a few thousand dollars and get a decent proven stud.

    Registered horses are being given(!) away around here.

    I agree with talking directly to the man before getting too upset.

  4. rooster0209

    rooster0209 Songster

    Apr 7, 2008
    North Dakota
    You saved the guy lots and lots of money. He should be grateful. Tell him exactly what you think...or he will continue to use you
  5. lilchick

    lilchick Songster

    May 23, 2008
    Williamsport In.
    Yes I have a chicken friend that I have known for several years. I try to help him out with money sometimes and care for his chickens when he goes home for visits.
    Well he got married and has 2 small children and 3 step ones.
    She does not work much and uses the system if you know what I mean....
    He asked if he could cut firewood on our place and we agreed he could cut the tree tops that were left when we had red oak logged out...
    I saw him come and go over the winter and he did not call before coming as agreed.
    This spring while mushrooming back in the woods I saw that he had cut several trees in one area where it was closest for him to get into the woods...
    Red oak and hickory and not sure what else! These were valuable trees to us...
    I did not have the guts to confront him about it.... What did I do?
    I put up fencing in that pasture and did not put in a gate!
    Cowards way maybe but this year he will not be able to drive back there.. Guess I can offer no advice here..
  6. chickenzoo

    chickenzoo Emu Hugger

    I agree with Angle, Let you feelings be known. Like Momma use to say: Resentment is like peeing down your own leg, your the only one that feels it! Get it off your chest and see were your friendship stands. Then at least you tried to be the better person and you know if this person is really a friend. [​IMG]

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