looks like I'm gonna be a grandma... not happy

key west chick

Songster
11 Years
May 31, 2008
3,328
15
211
Gainesville, GA
So DD, 21 just found out she is pregnant. About 2 weeks along. 2 months ago she and her fiance of a year broke up. Good, he wasnt good for her. About 2 weeks after that, she meets new BF. Ok, so yeah, she was soooo in love with fiance, but 2 weeks later, shes over him. They started talking, then dating. So apparently, the preventative they were using failed. Thing is, they are both happy. Rebound boy is ecstatic. He wants to get married. Young love and stupid. He works part time as a dishwasher, and goes to EMT school. She just graduated from massage therapy school. They got a cheap lease on a cute 1 bedroom apt, thanks to his mom. DD is putting in applications everywhere for anything. She has yet to tell DH and my parents. They will not be happy. Please keeps us all in your prayers, we're gonna need it. Oh, and if your a FB friend, please dont post anything on FB until all the family has been told. That would not be a good way to find out!
 
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A kid needs a mother and a father. If they really love each other, I say get married and make the best of it.

Congrats Grandma!
 
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My 20 year old son and his 17 year old GF had a baby girl 6 months ago. It changed my son for the better(he needs it), and I couldn't love that baby more.

You'll be ecstatic, trust me.
 
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First off, congrats! Give her plenty of support in getting healthy and finding compassionate health care.



Yeah, I was 19 when I first got pregnant. Dating this green haired loser High School dropout that worked at Taco Bell. I was in college for Pre-Vet. Everyone told me I had ruined my life!

After all, I had been raised in an intact home, Heavily Catholic, the whole bit. College educated parents. And then I was pregnant! At age 19!

Fast forward, we've been married almost 14 years. We have seen the deaths of two children, including that darling little girl I conceived at age 19. At age 7, killed in a car accident.

The High School dropout graduated with Honors in from a Big Ten University, Mechanical Engineering last year. Tough curriculum. I graduated college on time with my toddler daughter on my hip.

We bought our first home at age 25.

We have been through Hell and Heaven.

But one thing that has always stuck with me is the pain of my mother disowning me, never helping me through college, and buying my siblings overseas trips to teach me a lesson about the dirt she saw me as.


She fawns over my husband now, but the memory still burns. It has taught me a lot about how I want to treat my children.

Please don;t teach your daughter the same lesson.

Also, the guy seems willing. Please don;t start the whole "nothing you do is good enough" stance. He needs approval for how he comes through. He may be graduating as a brain surgeon or a lawyer in a few years with your grandbabies in tow.
 
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A mothers support is something that NOBODY can give your daughter except you. She needs you now--there will be times when she is scared and she'll need to know that she can call you or talk to you about it--make sure she knows that you are willing to hear her out no matter what. She will love you for it more than you know.

Go buy a baby outfit and enjoy it! Although the situation here is not what you had planned, please please please make the most of it. Make the most of this--your daughter needs you and she'll love you even more for being the one to stand by her no matter what! And even when you find times hard or exhausting with her, just smile. The baby is coming and that's that. Enjoy this time with your daughter--if she never has another child, you'll want to make the most of this pregnanacy rather than regret it later! Besides, you can help the rest of the family understand.
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Nothing in life is perfect. The father to be is as said "ecstatic", is ready to marry, has goals, and is going to school. I could think of at least 100 worse situations. Be thankful for the positives and remember it's about them and not you wanting perfection.
 
I believe that no one is understanding the OP's point. This girl is in a very new relationship, and now pregnant. A baby is forever, the new relationship may not be. The OP is a mother concerned for her child, and I WHOLEHEARTLY understand!!!! The daddy is not financially stable, the daughter has no job. OOOHHHH honey, feel free to contact me at any time to talk about this. I soooo get it!!
 

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