Martha Or Maxine

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by Linda in San Diego, Jun 30, 2008.

  1. Linda in San Diego

    Linda in San Diego Songster

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    May 11, 2008
    San Diego
    My Aunt Beth forwards things that she finds funny, usually I don't share the same sense of humor - but this time it was funny so I wanted to share:



    Martha (Stewart): Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

    Maxine:Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

    Martha: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

    Maxine: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

    Martha: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

    Maxine: Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

    Martha: If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

    Maxine: If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

    Martha: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

    Maxine: Celery? Never heard of it!

    Martha: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

    Maxine: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

    Martha: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

    Maxine: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

    Martha: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

    Maxine: Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

    Martha: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

    Maxine: Leftover wine??????????? HELLO !!!!!!!


    Enjoy, I think I will go get a lime now.
     
  2. BantyHugger

    BantyHugger Songster

    May 23, 2008
    Ponder
    LOL What would i do without that cute neighbor to open my jars. [​IMG]
     
  3. Linda in San Diego

    Linda in San Diego Songster

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    May 11, 2008
    San Diego
    I forgot to say, I am definitely a Maxine - no wine lives beyond its time in my house!
     
  4. luvmychicknkids

    luvmychicknkids Canning Squirrel

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    Mar 6, 2008
    Floresville, Texas
    I am a Martha who strives to be more of a Maxine every day!!!! That was too cute!!!!
     
  5. Linda in San Diego

    Linda in San Diego Songster

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    May 11, 2008
    San Diego
    Quote:Well you have chickens, that should help you with the migration to the Maxine side.
     

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