Melancholy

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Sjisty, Oct 24, 2016.

  1. Sjisty

    Sjisty Scribe of Brahmalot

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    I'm sitting here, watching Monday Night Football, of all things. Hubby's gone to bed. My mind wanders to my children. My son, Richard, was lost due to a car accident 17 years ago. It feels like forever ago; it feels like yesterday. I lost half of my soul that day. It's been 17 years, yet here I am, crying, with no one to talk to.

    My wonderful daughter, Julie, now lives in Texas with her hubby and six cats. Yes, I have no grandchildren, I have grand-kitties. She is the other half of my soul.

    I'm not sure why I am typing these words tonight. I just feel so alone in this world. Hubby is not the father of my children. Although he says he understands, he is uncomfortable when I talk about Richard. No one wants to talk about him; it's too awkward. Most of my current friends never knew him. It's almost like he never existed.

    Richard did exist. He was born January 26, 1980, in Dalton, Georgia. My first child. My only son. As he grew, he was a handful, always independent. His sister was born 23 months later. When they were 11 and 9, their father left us. Yes, he left not just me, but all of us. He did not want anything to do with his children and, in fact, never saw Richard again, only showing up at the funeral 8 years later.

    Richard was a chore to raise. He was found to have a genius IQ. He was a very inquisitive child. I came home from work many times to "smells" in the house from Richard experimenting. He would burn different things to see what color the flame would be. He soaked a garden glove in whatever chemicals he could find in the kitchen and garage because his friends said it would help him grip a football. His math teacher in the 6th grade told me he couldn't wait until Richard graduated his class because his math skill were beyond his teacher!

    He graduated with a 4.0 average, National Honor Society, in 1998, and immediately joined the Marines. I last saw him over the Christmas holidays in 1998. My "problem child" was a man! I was so proud of him. On New Year's Eve, 1998, Richard went to MOS school in California. That's the training the Marines give for whatever career he chooses, which was communications.

    On August 5, 1999, Lance Corporal Richard C. Ellis graduated second in his class. Since he bought a pick-up while in California, he had to drive it home instead of flying. While driving through Texas on August 6, my beloved son fell asleep behind the wheel. He hit the guard rail, over-compensated, and his truck flipped numerous times. A nurse actually witnessed the accident and tried to administer first aid, but it was too late. My only consolation is that he didn't suffer.

    I apologize for the lengthy post. I also apologize if this makes anyone feel uncomfortable. I just want you all to know my child did exist, and I'm feeling low tonight.
     
  2. Flock Master64

    Flock Master64 Overrun With Chickens

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    Don't apologize, he sounds like an amazing person and I'm sorry you had to lose him so soon. :hugs
     
  3. Teila

    Teila Bambrook Bantams Premium Member

    Hey Sjisty I am a mother to one son and no daughters and I can not begin to imagine what you are feeling right now.

    I am not usually good in these situations but just wanted to say that not only did Richard exist, he has touched the heart of someone on the other side of the world who now also knows something about him.

    You do not need to apologise and please know that you are definitely not alone; someone, somewhere will be there to listen and offer support or a shoulder.
     
  4. Flock Master64

    Flock Master64 Overrun With Chickens

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    x2
     
  5. anac1979

    anac1979 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Don't apologize my dear. A child is not something you ever forget, whether you have one or many. I'm so sorry you had to go through something like that. A parent should never outlive their child. I hope you get to see him in your next life. I will remember him & you. Love to you & yours. XO
     
  6. Sjisty

    Sjisty Scribe of Brahmalot

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    Thank you, everyone, for your kind thoughts and words.
     
  7. NickySo

    NickySo New Egg

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    I am pity that you were so soon lost son. I am sorry that with you there is no one with whom you could talk about it. It's not fair.
     

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