Mixed emotions about my son joining the Navy! He leaves Dec. 15th!

The Chicken People

10 Years
May 4, 2009
Smithville, Mo
My son is joining the Navy and I am so Proud of him for finally choosing a path in life that will bring great things for his future! But why cant I kick this depressed feeling and stop crying like a baby?
I want good things for him in life but I am afraid I will never see him once he joins!
I know the Holidays are gonna be hard not having him here!
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It is the greatest gift you could have given to America, your son! We will be proud of him for joining the Navy.
I think what clouds my emotions on this is the fact that I lost his little brother at 5 1/2 hours old and they are my only two children by birth!
Thanks for the hugs even through the computer! It helps!
I have not personally so far had to face a child going into the military but as a mother I can imagine the turmoil you are going thru. My daughter who is 18 just started college and wants to go into nursing...she and I have discussed the possibility of her being a military nurse. When you talk with people who have joined the military they talk about how it changed their lives for the better in that it made them more responsible, more confident, etc. Your son will also have a career that will reward him with decent benefits and a retirement. Should he leave the military before retirement he can hire himself back to the military as an independent contractor or get good jobs stateside working in a civilian capacity with the military. I know it would be very hard on me if one of my children decided to take this career path, but he will be a better person in the long run.
I know this and I believe this is the best career choice he could make! He is 20 and has taken three years of computer classes at a career center (Vo Tech)! Comptia certified! He scored 29 points higher on his Asfab than his friend who joined before him! May be going as a missile tech or special ops diver! I just have to get over my feelings of missing him! I have told him how proud of him I am! I think his girlfriend wants to get married before he joins but he told us that he had not asked ...dont know how this will turn out but I support him no matter what adult decisions he makes!
As the wife of a retired Navy Chief, my hat is off to your son, and to you. Your mixed feelings are totally understandable, but this is a great opportunity for him.

On a side note, I obviously don't know your son or his girlfriend, but I would NOT recommend they get married before he goes in. Being a Navy wife isn't for everyone, and it's far better for them to figure out whether it will work for them BEFORE they tie the knot.

to your son!
I served 22 years in the Navy. I've been on everything from tugboats to aircraft carriers. It's a tough job with very long hours and hard work, not to mention the long deployments always with possibilities of extensions. He will see many sights, interact with many foreign and domestic people and become a leader. If he decides to get out after his first tour, he will be well prepared to take on any civilian job that comes his way and/or go to college. If he decides to make a career of it, he will become an expert in his field and will take on much more responsibility, leadership... supervisory and manager positions if he puts his nose to the grindstone. If his intentions are that the military will make him rich...forget about it. Retirement pay is just a tad above poverty level; medical is not free for miltary retirees unless they are over 65 years old, even then medicare part B is required to be paid. There are no free dental benefits. There are many allowances that he will qualify for and receive, especially if he gets married, and allowances are not taxed. At retirement, there are no allowances included in his retirement, only base pay, and all the taxes etc...are taken out of it too. You as a parent will be proud of him...if he's aboard ship...there's nothing like having loved ones waiting on the pier upon a ship's return from deployment...the excitement is beyond belief! It's the waiting that takes the longest, but well worth it in the end. "The Chicken People,' you will have nothing to worry about, he will be well taken care of and looked after and he'll tell you many sea stories. BTW, one of my daughters is in the Army currently serving in Afghanistan. She's been there since May and wont return til June 2011...more gray hair for me.
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Hugs to you Chicken People. I know how you feel but your sense of pride will take over. My youngest son is a marine. The time away is so hard but we learn how to deal. I am so proud of my son as I know you will be of yours.
Thanks to all! I have a sense of pride in all that my children and grandchildren do! And Adam is a wonderful young man! My heart swells with pride every time I think of him in his Navy whites as I saw Brendon just get married in!
He will look so handsome and grown!
I dont think he will rush into marriage but I do see a Mother/ Son conversation going on soon!
Dawg53, Thanks for spelling it all out there! I know about military life and it is hard! My experiences are second hand but I see the families and the different people men come home to be! I am sorry to say men because I know women serve to bot all I have witnessed personally is men coming home! And families either being ripped apart or pulled together by it! Lets just say... Army life sucks when you are away for ten years and your children grow up and your wife and you grow apart!
Adam cant afford college and I cant afford to send him at least the Navy will take care of that and government jobs after he retires so a pension for both if he plays his cards right! All the best to my son! I Love Him so much! I will miss him.

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