1. A best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I wouldn't take a nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for sarcasm smilies.
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
9. Bad decisions make good stories.
10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you realize just aren't going to do anything else productive that day.
11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
12. I'm always a little concerned when I exit Word - and it asks if I want to save the changes I made to my ten-page technical report... which I didn't make any changes to.
13. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means this item of clothing will never be clean again.
14. Why is it that when I just miss a call at the last ring {{Hello? Hello? darn it!}}, but immediately call back - it rings, like, nine times and goes straight to voice mail.
What did they do after I didn't answer... Drop the phone and run away?
15. I hate leaving my house, all dressed up and looking goooood - then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. Dang!
16. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
17. Why dont freezers have lights inside, too?
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers, at least on Friday or Saturday night. Most kisses begin with Miller Lite.
20. Whey don't Google Maps or GPS systems have "Avoid Ghetto" routing options.
21. I prefer to try carrying 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand - than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
22. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text message.
23. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
24. So... how many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile, because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
25. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
26. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. But pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
27. Is it just me, or do high school kids get dumber every year?
28. There's no worse moment than that millisecond in time when you realize you've leaned your chair back just a little too far.
29. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers. But no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
30. Sometimes I'll look at a clock or my watch 2 or 3 times... and still wonder what time it is.
31. Even under ideal conditions people, have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone when it rings, or searching for money in their wallet while in the check out line.
But let the alarm clock go off and everyone can find the snooze button from 3 feet away, in 1.7 seconds, eyes closed and still asleep - - first time, every time!
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I wouldn't take a nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for sarcasm smilies.
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
9. Bad decisions make good stories.
10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you realize just aren't going to do anything else productive that day.
11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
12. I'm always a little concerned when I exit Word - and it asks if I want to save the changes I made to my ten-page technical report... which I didn't make any changes to.
13. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means this item of clothing will never be clean again.
14. Why is it that when I just miss a call at the last ring {{Hello? Hello? darn it!}}, but immediately call back - it rings, like, nine times and goes straight to voice mail.
What did they do after I didn't answer... Drop the phone and run away?
15. I hate leaving my house, all dressed up and looking goooood - then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. Dang!
16. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
17. Why dont freezers have lights inside, too?
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers, at least on Friday or Saturday night. Most kisses begin with Miller Lite.
20. Whey don't Google Maps or GPS systems have "Avoid Ghetto" routing options.
21. I prefer to try carrying 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand - than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
22. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text message.
23. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
24. So... how many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile, because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
25. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
26. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. But pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
27. Is it just me, or do high school kids get dumber every year?
28. There's no worse moment than that millisecond in time when you realize you've leaned your chair back just a little too far.
29. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers. But no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
30. Sometimes I'll look at a clock or my watch 2 or 3 times... and still wonder what time it is.
31. Even under ideal conditions people, have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone when it rings, or searching for money in their wallet while in the check out line.
But let the alarm clock go off and everyone can find the snooze button from 3 feet away, in 1.7 seconds, eyes closed and still asleep - - first time, every time!
Last edited:
