Ok so.... Jamison has a mother named Leanne with whom he is very close. She has been going through a very rough divorce over the last 8 months, and has been staying with her best friend and her best friend's husband. Well, she just called us. Apparently her best friend is throwing her out for reasons unbeknownst to us, and she needs a place to stay until she can buy a house. So of course we said absolutely! Of course she can stay. And I mean it when I say that she is a great lady. I like her. I really really do. I just hardly know her at all. We have barely spent any time together and I have no idea how lives or what she is like to live with.
My main concern is this: I am well aware of how living with someone can ruin your relationship with them. I have seen it tear apart countless friendships and relationships. Something about having to share a space with someone you don't know well (or even someone you know very well) just rubs a lot of people wrong. I am terrified that this will go badly. It will probably be fine for a while, but if it goes bad.... *shudder*
Secondary Concerns: She smokes. Both cigs and pot. We are a non-smoking household. I am not as concerned about the illicit drug use as I am about it making our house smell. She's a grown woman, and if that's what she wants to do then fine, but the smell makes me sick. Also, she has a dog that is absolutely spoiled rotten. This dog has it's every whim catered to, and if she is more than a few feet ever from Leanne she just starts doing that nasty screaming noise that some dogs do. Not only that, but I have a 5 week old kitten in the house. I don't want to find out if my marriage can withstand me throwing out Jamison's mom because her dog killed my kitten. That would just be bad.
So um, long story short... I am scared snotless of this. I know that if this is going to work I need to establish some boundaries and go over them with her. But I can't even imagine starting a conversation like that, or what to say once I start it. I'm going to have to walk a very thin line between being a doormat, and being too aggressive.
My main concern is this: I am well aware of how living with someone can ruin your relationship with them. I have seen it tear apart countless friendships and relationships. Something about having to share a space with someone you don't know well (or even someone you know very well) just rubs a lot of people wrong. I am terrified that this will go badly. It will probably be fine for a while, but if it goes bad.... *shudder*
Secondary Concerns: She smokes. Both cigs and pot. We are a non-smoking household. I am not as concerned about the illicit drug use as I am about it making our house smell. She's a grown woman, and if that's what she wants to do then fine, but the smell makes me sick. Also, she has a dog that is absolutely spoiled rotten. This dog has it's every whim catered to, and if she is more than a few feet ever from Leanne she just starts doing that nasty screaming noise that some dogs do. Not only that, but I have a 5 week old kitten in the house. I don't want to find out if my marriage can withstand me throwing out Jamison's mom because her dog killed my kitten. That would just be bad.
So um, long story short... I am scared snotless of this. I know that if this is going to work I need to establish some boundaries and go over them with her. But I can't even imagine starting a conversation like that, or what to say once I start it. I'm going to have to walk a very thin line between being a doormat, and being too aggressive.
