*Guitars don't snore. *Guitars never wake you up in the middle of the night, for any reason. *Guitars never try to show you off to their friends. *Guitars don't come home drunk after a night out with the other Guitars. *You don't have to praise a Guitar after playing it. *Guitars don't have to prove anything. *Guitars don't try to change you once you've bought them. *Second-hand Guitars don't go to see previous owners when you're out of town. *Guitars don't have egos. *You don't have to continually assure your Guitar that its string length is just right. *Your Guitar will never earn more than you do for the same job just because it's a Guitar. *Your Guitar never spends a "night out with the Guitars" and comes home with a strange rash on its fretboard.