My DD is driving me crazy!!! Ranting!!!!

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by oesdog, Apr 14, 2011.

  1. oesdog

    oesdog Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Edited out
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2011
  2. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

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    No, you are not wrong at all! Sounds like it would do your daughter some good to have to fend for herself! I definitely think that cutting her off of any support would be the best thing you could do. Right now it just sounds as if she is using you and that's not fair at all.
     
  3. Mofarmgirl

    Mofarmgirl Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I am in a very similar situation and I know all too well what you're going through. It wears a person out, its hard to
    know when to say enough! Same situation here: daughter in school, gbaby 7 mo.s and a " boyfriend" who can't hold a job.
    And...they live with us. I also had my 3 children very young, and took it all on myself. Kids today seem to not be able
    to wipe their own behinds! Next issue is..when they do take her off to themselves, I worry myself sick wondering if she's
    being taken care of right. :-/
    If we cut them off, that means cutting the baby off in some ways which I just can't do. I feel for you
    because I do truly know what you're going through!
    P.s. my daughter usually doesnt get mouthy with me bcuz she knows from past experience that I won't have it!
    I wouldn't take that on top of everything else that's going on!
     
  4. sonew123

    sonew123 Poultry Snuggie

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    [​IMG] and [​IMG] and a BIG FAT ONE [​IMG] for your DD and SO-seriously, you are getting used beyond recognition--you need to stop enabling them-no more free things-Child care because its your grandaughter is one thing-but buying them food and everything else because he wont get a job? No WAY--what are they doing that you need to have the GD so much? Put your foot down and enough is enough-they need to grow up and respect the momma !!!! I'm sorry [​IMG]
     
  5. zippitydooda

    zippitydooda Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Quote:Personally, I think you've done TOO MUCH for the ingrates. I would smile and say something like:

    "I love having you and the baby over for visits, but I've just started (any hobby or activity) and I won't be available as much".

    As far as giving them your car and paying for the insurance.... STOP.

    When they have to start accepting adult responsibilities, they will start acting like adults. As long as you take care of them as children, that is exactly how they will behave.

    Hugs to you, and GOOD LUCK! [​IMG]
     
  6. sfw2

    sfw2 Global Menace

    Just to clarify, after that picture was taken, did you leave your granddaughter like that, or did you give her a bath and a change of clothes?

    It's hard to respect your DD and her partners as parents when they act like spoiled children. Time for them to start taking responsibility for themselves and their daughter. It's going to be very hard for you, but you have to set boundaries, and stick to them. You're not doing your daughter any favours by meeting her every need. Be prepared: with the lack of maturity they show, they'll probably use your granddaughter as a weapon, and threaten to cut you off from having contact with her. My guess is that will only last until they need a free babysitter, and his mother isn't available.

    [​IMG] to you, your husband and your granddaughter. [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] to your ungrateful daughter and her layabout partner.
     
  7. oesdog

    oesdog Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Quote:Personally, I think you've done TOO MUCH for the ingrates. I would smile and say something like:

    "I love having you and the baby over for visits, but I've just started (any hobby or activity) and I won't be available as much".

    As far as giving them your car and paying for the insurance.... STOP.

    When they have to start accepting adult responsibilities, they will start acting like adults. As long as you take care of them as children, that is exactly how they will behave.

    Hugs to you, and GOOD LUCK! [​IMG]

    We got them a car because we live out in the country and its a long way to anything. We encouraged DD to let us get a house near us for her because she had very serious depression and was living in a really filthy flat. (We couldn;t let her take a baby back there.) So we got her a place here.

    We also ended up getting our eldest boy a place too because he was living with DD and his girlfriend - in that flat. When DD gave up the Flat they needed housed too( As they were then homeless!). Now I don;t see them much at all. We also had to get our middle son a flat at the end of our road ( He is Brain injured and can;t do anything like that for himself) So that was a must!!!!! I don;t begrudge that because he is disabled but the others are ok and have been given a great education! We did all that in one year and it was truely crippling financially. Trouble is DD wouldn't have anything second hand at the start so it was very hard. I ended up buying her a book on Midwifery and the east end of London in the 50s to try to get her to appreciate that she has soooo much help that we or her granparents etc never got. I don;t think she cares much at all.

    She needs a car because she has to get to college to do her exams and also to the baby clinics etc. There are no direct buses from here.

    I am so tired I really am - The poster who said they knew how I felt Thanks for that. I worry about cutting them off too much because of the baby. What if something happens, What about Dds depression and the filthy place they lived in? Will her house get like that? Sometimes she wont let us in because it is a mess?
    Sometimes I don;t know what to do for the best. - I have felt like I am being punished by her taking the baby away this two weeks. - But it is only because she is off college for two weeks. She constantly says she didn;t want a baby. - She says if she gets pregnant again she will kill it ( Abortion!) So I do what I can because I don;t want her to do that. I can;t handle a murderess for a daughter. I would never talk to her again if she killed my grandchild in the womb. - No excuse except it doesn;t fit her schedual and is an inconvenience to her lifestyle? OH yeah in her own words " I don;t want to be Miss Suzi homemaker like you!!!!"

    I love my DD - but why is she such a female dog right now? Am I not respecting their parenting?????? I feel that they are NOT respecting us DH and I.

    Oesdog
     
  8. oesdog

    oesdog Chillin' With My Peeps

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    edited out
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2011
  9. zippitydooda

    zippitydooda Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I understand there are always reasons that we do the things we do for our children, and I'm not in your situation; I cannot judge you.

    I only have one question.......................................




    Are you adopting? Because it sounds like I would love having a parent like you! [​IMG]

    Seriously though, I know you only want what's best for your DD and DGD, but you need to think about yourself and your husband's well-being too. The stress of everything you are experiencing is rough, and it won't help you enjoy spending time with your loved ones.
    Not to mention it will take it's toll on your health. Think about ways to encourage the two "new" parents to pick up some of their own load. Responsibility is not a dirty word, and perhaps you can use your experience to teach them how to be more responsible.

    Hang in there! [​IMG]
     
  10. oesdog

    oesdog Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Quote:Thats it though - neither of them will learn anything if they are not willing to be taught!!!

    Hay - I know what its like to not be wanted or loved as a child I went through the "care stuff" so that is why I guess I over do the parenting for my kids.
    I wish I could adopt!!!!! Though maybe you are a bit too old?????? And I am too knackered!!!!!!

    Oesdog
     

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