My family forgot my sons birthday


11 Years
Sep 23, 2008
Monroe, Ga
Today is my DS's 6th birthday..
No one from my side, except for my maternal grandmother, seems to have remembered.

My SOs whole side of the family can remember (great aunts, uncles, 2nd cousins, 3rd cousins, grandma/grandpa, great grandma, etc) why cant mine?

Ill admit my side of the family gets kinda awkward when it comes down to saying "I love you" or "Marry Christmas" or even "Happy Birthday" (Im even a little awkward saying it towards them.. but not other people
My dad, sister, aunt, grandma (paternal), cousins... they dont remember. I even talked to my dad today!
I didnt get a chance to talk to him long cause work called but still..
It breaks my heart for my DS (even though he doesnt understand at this age)

Why doesnt my family seem to care like my SOs?


Internally Deranged
10 Years
May 2, 2009
Desert, CA
I'm pretty sure it's not personal. My DH's side also doesn't "do" birthdays/holidays, and honestly it's a Wens. they're most likely at work and busy. If you'd like to "head it off at the pass" next year, have some of those photo-calendars made up for christmas gifts, and have the birthdays, anniversaries and such put on it, and give those out.

Don't see it as a lack of caring, i'm sure they love your boy, but as general forgetfulness (I tend to phone a few weeks ahead and say something like "since Erik's birthday is on tuesday, do you want to see him the weekend before or after for cupcakes?" This helps those less date-inclined in planning).


9 Years
May 26, 2010
Waterford, Michigan

Sorry they don't seem to appreciate the importance of today. Try not to take it personally, and your son won't either.
sigh....I hate to admit it, but I usually forget or sent late cards to my own siblings.

In the meantime, how lucky you are to have a six year old boy!
I have two sons who are now 30 and soon to be 21 years old.
When they were six, they thought the sun rose and set on their mommy!
ah, good times.

Oh, I see saddina has an excellent suggestion.
Thank you saddina.


Happy Birthday to your son!


11 Years
Sep 23, 2008
Monroe, Ga
Thank You

...I dont think its anything personal either. My family is rather ...caught up in themselves. Ill admit that I am a little too, but not as bad.
My MIL just makes me feel awful. "So did your dad call him to wish him a happy birthday?" "Oh, your sister didnt want to come out with us?" "Wheres your family?"
Or shell just directly ask him "Beau, what did you get from Granddaddy?"

Sometimes I wonder if shes just not thinking when she says these things but sometimes I wonder if its not to make herself feel "superior".
It hurts either way. I cant help my family is too busy to pay attention to people outside their own world

I have WHAT in my yard?

11 Years
Jun 24, 2008
Eggberg, PA
I know your son's birth is the center of your world and i am sure your family was thrilled when he was born. But, not all families are big on birthdays. I would never assume my family would remember my kid's birthdays. That day there was rarely any big issue from anyone, it was only on the day that I had called everyone and invited them over for a party that they all showed and made a fuss and I was extremely grateful to them for it.

I rarely remembered any of my neices birthdays on their birthdays when they were growing up.
But I showed up for all of the parties. And they show up for my kids'

Let your MIL do her thing, let your son know his whole family loves him they just all show it differently. Just think - if you were a Jehovah's Witness you wouldn't be celebrating it at all. They think it is not your place to celebrate the birth of anyone but Jesus.


Kiss My Grits...
Premium Feather Member
11 Years
May 19, 2008
Western MA
I'd ask her not to ask your child if his "other" grandpa called... thats not even any of her business..really.
Why would she even ask that unless she KNOWS how they are and wants to hurt you....
I'd say shes doing it to be hurtful and to make herself look better...

I'd nicely ask her to NOT ask that again because you dont want them hurt....


11 Years
Sep 23, 2008
Monroe, Ga
It just hurts because this gives my MIL a new reason to feel greater than my family.

She keeps telling me I need to ask my paternal grandmother for $60,000 cash to buy this house

Yeah right! I wouldnt ask her for $0.25 for a stick of gum!
I just dont keep in that close contact with her (and she knows it) she just says stuff like this.

My SO sees it but just blows it off behind closed doors as 'You know what a air head my mother is!'

Dont get me wrong. I am SUPER greatful for everything she does for us.. but it hurts that my family isnt as stand up as my SOs.


8 Years
Mar 28, 2011
Sounds like my family! This past July my brother, his wife, and kids came to my daughters birthday party and intentionally did not bring a gift. I could understand if they were broke, but he makes a 6 figure salary! My 10 year old was great and was fine with it. I find it rude!

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