I am an only child. So I am the beneficiary to my father's insurance policy and all of that... He peridodically sends me updated paperwork for his policy to keep in my files. Yesterday I recieved some more papers in the mail with more specific requests about his remains and wishes. And I am just heartbroken over what he wants and have no idea if I should talk to him and tell him how I feel or just suck it up because it's about him in the end. He wants to be cremated which I have known forever, and he wants his ashes scattered, which I also have known about. But he flat out says that he wants no wake, memorial, or service of any kind and no mention of his death in any newpapers. I was and I feel like wakes, memorials, and services are for the living, not the dead. And to tell me that not only do I have to scatter his ashes (as soon as possible says the will), but that I cannot celebrate his life with friends and family is like asking me to pretend he never exsisted. I feel like I will have no clousure, no where to visit his body and leave flowers, no newpaper clipping or memorial prayer card, nothing. Part of me wants to call him and tell him how I feel. The other part of me just wants to deal with it and keep my mouth shut because it's his wishes and not mine. I just don't know what to do.