My former Step Dad died on the 8th and they are burying him today

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by naakte, Oct 14, 2011.

  1. naakte

    naakte Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 10, 2011
    Branson, missouri
    I have such good memories of the years he fathered me. Such a fun person. He and my Mom married when I was 2 yrs old and I grew up believing he was my real Dad. maybe it wouldnt have been so bad on me and my siblings to lose him in the divorce when I was 13 (his new wife wanted nothing to do with kids that he and Mom had together let alone his former step kids).

    I did meet my biological Father when I was 13, and in the last 20 years we have developed a good relationship. My real Dad even comes to Branson once a year to visit and has done so every year since I moved here 8 years ago. I was sad but OK when i was told of my step dads passing, so why today is my tummy knotting up like this and I feel such an over whelming sadness. I have known he died for days. Shouldnt I be past this already? I hope this feeling passes quickly, has anyone else been thru this and how do you deal with it?

    I am adding a picture of him from when i was 5. I am the little girl with brown hair
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2011
  2. chickbea

    chickbea Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jan 18, 2007
    I'm so sorry for your loss; and no, you shouldn't be over this already! You've lost someone who cared about you and who helped make you into the person you are. In time the pain will lessen but the fun memories will always remain.
    I have a wonderful stepfather in my life also. He married my mom after my sisters and I were adults, but we've all become so close as the years have gone by, and losing him is going to hurt as much as losing my dad did.
  3. scratch'n'peck

    scratch'n'peck Overrun With Chickens

    Oct 31, 2008
    West Michigan
    My Coop
    So sorry about your loss. It is hard to predict how grief will progress. The littlest things can trigger memories and sadness. Give it a some time- the intensity of the sadness will ease.
  4. theoldchick

    theoldchick The Chicken Whisperer Premium Member

    May 11, 2010
    Grieve as long as you want, whenever you want. Good step-dads are hard to find.
  5. sourland

    sourland Broody Magician Premium Member

    May 3, 2009
    New Jersey
    The measure of your loss will be directly proportional to the measure of your caring. Add to this the fact that in a sense you 'lost' him once before. It get's better. Eventually the pain will be replaced by good memories. Allow yourslf to grieve. [​IMG]
  6. Avalon1984

    Avalon1984 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Dec 22, 2010
    Always talk about him when you feel like it. Don't hold anything inside. It gets better but it does take a while [​IMG]
  7. Criskin

    Criskin Lost somewhere in a book

    I think everyone grieves differently and that's okay. When my Grandmother passed away, I didn't cry until a few days after the funeral. Then I cried for days. I kind of think those days of numbness helped me to accept her passing intellectually before I was ready to do so emotionally.
  8. chicmom

    chicmom Dances with Chickens

    Feb 24, 2009
    Strasburg Ohio
    I think you're just being human! It's OK for you to feel sad that he's passed. My ex father in law passed away years ago. He was a big pain in the tush when I was married to his son, but I still felt sad about that.
  9. naakte

    naakte Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 10, 2011
    Branson, missouri
    Thankyou everyone. i spent today looking thru old pictures of my former Dad, and worked on plans for a trailer chicken coop. I enjoyed the weather today and sat out with my chickens watching their crazy antics. Its hard to talk about this to my baby brother because he will start crying, then i cry in front of him so that just can not be good. It really helped to talk in this forum about it though... isnt that just crazy that I cannot talk within my own family, yet I can to you wonderful people in this forum. My biological Dad will be here in a few weeks and this year I am looking forward to his coming to Branson.

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