My friend's cancer is back, with a vengeance

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by WriterofWords, Aug 11, 2010.

  1. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

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    Dec 25, 2007
    Chaparral, New Mexico
    A little over a year ago I asked for prayers for a friend of mine who had been diagnosed with a very advanced stage of esophageal cancer and a small spot on the pituitary gland too. She went through horrible treatments, she got radiation poisoning twice, she had allergic reactions, she hallucinated, all kinds of just awful things. My family helper her and husband by taking turns transporting her, she got mean and ugly several times and I had to flat out tell her that while I felt bad about her cancer there was no way I would accept the way she was treating us and if she wanted us to continue to help her she'd mind her manners. We've known each a long time, we used to share a horse trailer back in our rodeo days and put on thousands of miles together even though we were never the best of friends at all,,,,, more like friendly acquaintances,,, Less than six months ago she was told she was cancer free, her hair came back in so curly it looked like a perm,, she had board straight hair before.
    On Sunday she had a seizure, her husband called me and told me they had ordered a CT scan, he'd let me know what happened. He called yesterday and said they'd found something, they were going back up to the hospital to meet with the doctors. This morning he called at 7am to tell me she has 8 tumors in her brain. Without treatment she has less than three months. With treatment possibly a year. She started radiation today, she's going to fight it again.
    I don't know what I would do in her place,, my brain says enjoy those last few months without the barfing and horrors of the treatment, but my heart says fight like Hades and hang on to family. My own brush with cancer wasn't nearly as serious as hers, but it was scary and all I could think about was Steven and him growing up without me. She has one daughter who is in her early 20s and has a step child that she treats as her own.
    Due to her behavior in the past my friend does not have many people who are willing to help her, she's just not a nice person at all most of the time. My family and I have already discussed it and we will help out as much as we can again but it worries me, my dad gets stressed out so easily right now, and I can't help during the day at all with transporting her. They are talking about keeping her in the hospital for the first 2 weeks to see how she does this time. I know that would be best for her and us too,, but I also how lonely it is to be in the hospital for so long.
    I guess I'd like everyone to please keep all of us in your prayers,, for healing, for patience, for tolerance, it's going to be a rough road I think, and my gut feeling is that this treatment isn't going to do much.
     
  2. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    I am understanding your feelings right now. At least the brain tumors explained her behavior. My dear friend has no treatment options at all, so they are going through what is called pallaitive treatment - medication for comfort and counseling for dealing with imminent death.

    Kate, please know you are a good friend, the kind all of us hope for in life. Just continue to be there for her and her loved ones. It is really all we can do right now.

    Getting old really sucks. I don't mind the calmness in me that comes with age, but I sure hate the fact that people we love start dying.
     
  3. Randy

    Randy Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 12, 2009
    AR
    Hard to say what the treatment will do. My best friend lost his wife today to colon cancer. They origionally told her she might have three years with treament but she only made it six months. I called another friend to let him know and found out that his mother had just passed. She had battled breast cancer for 13 years. [​IMG]
     
  4. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

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    Dec 25, 2007
    Chaparral, New Mexico
    Randy I'm sorry, it happens that way at times and the others are given a couple of months and then live for years.

    Debi I know what you mean, I've lost a lot of friends the past couple of years, and I was the one voted most likely to die before 25 in our senior yearbook!
     
  5. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    Quote:WOW! Sounds like you were me at that age. [​IMG]
     
  6. 4 luv of eggs

    4 luv of eggs Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Apr 22, 2010
    Westminster, MD
    I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Dealing with someone with cancer can be an all consuming task, as I'm sure you well know. We lost my dad three years ago to colon cancer. He had had two surgeries and each time we were told they got it all. The third time it came back there was little they could do. His strength wasn't there any longer. It metasticized to his stomach and liver and it was now obvious this was the time he would not pull through. I was devistated.

    My mom said something to me that was so simple but it has come in handy when things look hopeless. She said, it is what it is. All we can do is deal with what we were given and trust. I'm not saying not to fight like crazy, just don't wish and hope and fill with regrets. It is what it is.

    I hope that offers a new way to look at things. I will keep your friend in my thoughts and prayers, and hope that all who are involved will cope as best they can.
     
  7. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

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    Dec 25, 2007
    Chaparral, New Mexico
    Thanks, I just got a call, her radiation made her very sick yesterday so things are being evaluated, , re-evaluated, plans are being made and changed. Her husband has to go out of town next week for work, so we will be the main care takers for her. If she is the hospital it will be easy, we'll take turns going up there every day. I can't figure out my feelings right now.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2010
  8. sfw2

    sfw2 Global Menace

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