My future father in law met our chickens today... Tragic tale inside.

Discussion in 'Pictures & Stories of My Chickens' started by Shikens!, Sep 24, 2011.

  1. Shikens!

    Shikens! Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 2, 2011
    I have a story for you guys.

    Today my fiance's dad came to visit. He has been SO excited to see the chickens. He asks about them every time he calls. After all my fiances bragging about how wonderful they are who wouldn't? So, I let the chickies out in the backyard while he was here. He fed them some bread and they did all their little chicken hobbies. Dust baths, little sun bathing burritos in a row, the electric slide bug hunt, you know the drill. He thought they were super cute and really enjoyed them.

    Then, it came time for my fiance to take his dad to lunch. My fiance thought it was a wonderful idea to offer to help me put the chickens away before they left. I had failed to discuss this with him before his dad arrived and tell him under no circumstances to make me chase my bad little birdies all over the yard in front of his dad. I politely declined his help but he INSISTED. Not wanting to seem rude or argumentative in front of my future father in law I said, "thanks" and the fun began...

    We tried to herd them into the coop in the orderly fashion that happens EVERY SINGLE DAY, what a joke. Chickens are just like children. The second company comes around they loose their minds and forget every shred of manners they ever possessed. The chickens SCATTERED like mice all over the yard in every direction. A few more failed attempts at chicken herding led to a game of "chase the chicken".

    My fiance had given up at this point leaving me running circles around the coop and dashing through bushes, kicking up dirt and crashing through spider webs never coming CLOSE to catching an actual CHICKEN as he and his father watched.

    "Chase the chicken" lasted a solid 20 minutes and left me with several party favors from Miss Noodle and a chest and neck full of dirt thanks to Fern and her recent mud bath. My success rate was much like a disoriented 5 year old that had been tossed onto the field during an NFL game and told "YOU'RE THE NEW DEFENSIVE TACKLE KID". After what seems like a blur of blocked out memories I finally plopped the last screaming chickie in the run, closed the latch with authority and huffed and puffed my way over to my fiance and his dad.

    I stood there sopping and dripping and panting as they looked at me the way someone might look at a toilet in a public bathroom that hadn't been flushed. I blotted myself with the paper towel I had in my pocket and tried to act natural. As if I wasn't embarrassed and terrified of how I must have looked. They tried their best to make eye contact while talking to me, but a problem was so obvious I eventually had to excuse myself to the bathroom.

    Upon visual contact with the mirror I faced the same expression they had given me moments before. A mere 20 minute struggle with the worst behaved little chickens on the planet had left me with 100% sweat saturated hair as if I had jumped in an imaginary pool, raccoon smudged eyes from my running eyeliner, mascara dripped CLEAN DOWN MY FACE and onto my neck and shirt, a tomato RED face as if I had just finished winning a gold metal in the Summer Olympics, several different specimens of mud caked from my neck to my knees, both arms crisscrossed in scratches, and my yellow cotton shirt soaked in sweat clinging to me like a CLEAR sausage casing.

    The clean up process took longer than our game of "chase the chicken". My ever so polite family waited for me before leaving for lunch as if I wasn't embarrassed enough without a reappearance. How sweet.

    Never try to put away your chickens in front of company. EVER.

    Here is a mugshot of the ringleader of our posse.
  2. theoldchick

    theoldchick The Chicken Whisperer

    May 11, 2010
    Chicken aerobics is a stressful event.
  3. Cattitude

    Cattitude Chillin' With My Peeps

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
  4. Magic Birdie

    Magic Birdie Overrun With Chickens

    May 3, 2011
    Magic Birdie land
    Quote:x2! [​IMG]
  5. zazouse

    zazouse Overrun With Chickens

    Sep 7, 2009
    Southeast texas
    Aw heck them chickens just gave ya a free stress test and probably saved ya a 500 dollar deductible ta boot [​IMG]

    Yas just gota let em put themselves up or don't let em out to much stress on you and the birds IMO [​IMG]
  6. terrilhb

    terrilhb Chillin' With My Peeps

    Dec 11, 2010
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] That is hilarious. I go through this with my animals(goats, chickens, and guineas) whenever I have company. I am so sorry this happened to you. But I am so sorry it is hilarious. [​IMG]
  7. zippitydooda

    zippitydooda Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 23, 2010
    Ottawa, Ohio
    So I take it you haven't learned that BRIBERY with food works every time?

    I spent the first few months chasing my little darlings. I must admit I had several afternoons that were similar to yours. Then one day, I grabbed an old crusty dried out piece of bread.....dropped crumbs while walking and

    I became the pied piper. They followed me right into the run. SLAM went the door and voila! That is how they have been "put away" from that day forward.

    Works like a charm. [​IMG]

    edited for poor spelling & grammar, lol
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2011
  8. new chicken mommy

    new chicken mommy Out Of The Brooder

    Jun 25, 2008
    athens vt
    [​IMG][​IMG] Thats funny !!! I just get out the hose and spray it in the air over the run and they bolt for the coop.....
  9. mkcolls

    mkcolls Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 13, 2011
    I feel your pain. Yesterday I got so frustrated that DH had to finish putting the chooks away after 35 minutes of chasing back and forth.

    The day before all we had to do was say "it's time to go in" and all of the birds went in all by themselves and just waited for us to check their coops, say good night and lock up. Of course we wrongly thought that the hard part of the end of the day was over.

    Not so. [​IMG]

    At least they have seen you working hard and not giving up. [​IMG]
  10. Shikens!

    Shikens! Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 2, 2011
    Ha! We have never needed bribery or for the birds to put themselves away. They normally march in a little herd into the run when we walk behind them. NORMALLY.

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