~My life as a broiler hen~ Updated full story so far on page 3!

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by cochinGurl, Oct 20, 2011.

  1. cochinGurl

    cochinGurl Chillin' With My Peeps

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    May 11, 2010
    bellingham
    Hey all. Im not copying anyone, I know there are similer stories on here, but I wrote this about a year ago and just now decided to put it on here.
    heres prolog and chapter one. hope you guys like it, comment for more! [​IMG]

    Prolog
    Well. This is what I've been waiting for, what I've been dreaming of for so long. What we've worked for. It hardly seems real. Its my duty to tell the full story. All of it. Even the painful parts. The parts that no one wants to hear, or believe. The parts that I can hardly stand to relive. All about the suffering, the humans, the best friends anyone could hope for, and of our eventual demise. Its important that the world know our story. I should start at the beginning. The very beginning ...Well, here goes...
    Chapter #1 Hatching
    I feel I have always been. Indescribable. I exist. Floating in a sea of... is. It was different before though...I think. I am starting to understand that there's a difference between was and is.
    I'm not sure when was changed to is, but I'm fairly sure it was not long ago. I don't know when, but I began to have thoughts, incoherent, and blurry at first, but their growing clearer all the time. At some point, I came to the fuzzy conclusion that there must be something more than this blank (though warm and comfortable) is. As my thoughts clear, so does my perception that I am something. I can feel. I have a... "me-ness" Soon after this epiphany, I felt that my is had become to small to accommodate my "me-ness". This lead me to decide it was time to do something. I moved. Ha! I did something!
    With this new development came another, almost simotanusly. A noise came from some part of me. It felt glorious! I wondered if I could do that when ever I wanted to. I tried again. "Peep!" I was astounded! This was amazing! I did it again. And again. And again! Than I found out that doing "move" and "noise" at the same time was even better! I moved and moved and peeped and peeped for what seemed like forever. I didn't want to ever stop! I knew this "move-and-noise" thing was what I was meant to do.
    But after some time, I became tired. So I did "still-and-no-noise" for a while until I felt ready to keep going. After a long time, I was rewarded, in the form of a tiny sliver of light...


    I'll post more if you guys want me to. [​IMG] fibi bell 2009
     
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2011
  2. luvinmychickens

    luvinmychickens Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 15, 2011
    Ohio
    It's good!

    But....... This is sort of a copy of my story. [​IMG] Battery hens and broiler hens live a similar life.

    Example:

    Mine: "I was in an egg. I was kicking and pecking for a long time. It seemed like forever. I continued to toss and turn for hours. Finally, after squirming around for a really long and tiring amount of time, I saw a beam of light.

    Yours: After a long time, I was rewarded, in the form of a tiny sliver of light...

    Mine: I flopped down to catch my breath. I fell asleep.

    Yours: But after some time, I became tired.

    [​IMG]
     
  3. cochinGurl

    cochinGurl Chillin' With My Peeps

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    May 11, 2010
    bellingham
    there are really only a few ways to describe a chick hatching, so sorry about that. it does get much diffrent then yours though, which i have read and enjoyed. i promise it really is quite diffrent in many ways, although there are a few nessisary similaritys due to the setting. i dont mean to offend you, and like a said, i wrote this about a year ago.
     
  4. OwlLover

    OwlLover Alaskan Wanderer

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    Aug 25, 2011
    Quote:x2. Study broiler hens first, luvin. They at least get to mill about in a shed.
     
  5. cochinGurl

    cochinGurl Chillin' With My Peeps

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    May 11, 2010
    bellingham
    thanks polish.
     
  6. luvinmychickens

    luvinmychickens Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 15, 2011
    Ohio
    I know you wrote it a year ago. . . I'll give it a while, before I judge. [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2011
  7. OwlLover

    OwlLover Alaskan Wanderer

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    Aug 25, 2011
    Quote:No prob. I just hate it when I see otherwise good stories get ruined just because someone else thinks that they are "possibly" copying them. Not against you, luvin. They're also at the beginning of the story right now, so its no one's place to judge if they're copying or not.
     
  8. luvinmychickens

    luvinmychickens Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 15, 2011
    Ohio
    Like I said, Polish...
    Quote:
     
  9. cochinGurl

    cochinGurl Chillin' With My Peeps

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    May 11, 2010
    bellingham
    thanks for understanding guys. [​IMG] More to come soon...
     
  10. OwlLover

    OwlLover Alaskan Wanderer

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    Aug 25, 2011
    Quote:
    I'm not giving you a hard time...
     

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