My Little Sister Is Angry With Me

[LBejaran]

Hello, everybody. I've got a bit of a predicament here at home and I'm not really sure how to handle it.

You see, a couple months back we processed three roosters. I'd been explaining to my little sister for about half a year before that, just preparing her for it. She's fifteen, though, so everything seems like a catastrophe to her. I gave her a way out and didn't force her to deal with the processing. In the end, she accepted it and took the many feathers I collected for her arts and crafts.

Two months ago, I purchased three turkey poults for meat. They turned out to be standard bronze turkeys, though, so I figured we'd just have to wait a year to actually consume them. Whatever, they're cute as hell and I'd love to have some turkey eggs from the hen for hatching anyway. One of the jakes died, unfortunately, so now we're left with one jake and one hen. I still figured we'd be good anyway, considering we could get some replacements to raise for the next year as well.




As it turns out, my sister had other ideas. She knew from the get-go that they were for food but seems to have grown attached to them. She's of the opinion that we can just let the turkeys we have breed and we'll hatch the eggs. The new poults will then be used for food, that way she can grow attached to parents without fear of them being dinner.

I'm just a bit torn. I hate to disappoint my sister. She's my best friend. But I really had planned on getting some hatching eggs from the hen and then processing the tom for Thanksgiving. I spend a lot of money on raising them as an almost-show quality bird, so I guess I could recoup the funds I've spent by selling any poults we hatch out, but I really don't like to count my poults before the eggs have even been laid.

It's just too much. I really can't decide what to do.



If anybody has any advice, that'd be great.

P.S. For reference, I'm 21 and live at home with my family. While they're at school and work, I do freelance graphic design and take care of the chickens/ducks/turkeys/quail/dogs/kitten. Technically, it is my flock, but I consider it a family affair.

 

[Spookwriter]

I don't know.

What do you figure the cost of a Thanksgiving
turkey is? 20, 30 dollars?

Then ask yourself if you're willing to hurt your
sister for that same price? Me? Probably not.

In the end, I think you're be way better paid to make
it memory you and she will someday look back and
share.

Pardon the turkey.

Give your sister the turkey free and clear. Without
strings. Hatch the eggs together.

They sell turkeys at the store.
They don't sell sisters...


Spook...who loves his memories.

 

[LBejaran]

I don't know.

What do you figure the cost of a Thanksgiving
turkey is? 20, 30 dollars?

Then ask yourself if you're willing to hurt your
sister for that same price? Me? Probably not.

In the end, I think you're be way better paid to make
it memory you and she will someday look back and
share.

Pardon the turkey.

Give your sister the turkey free and clear. Without
strings. Hatch the eggs together.

They sell turkeys at the store.
They don't sell sisters...


Spook...who loves his memories.

I understand, I'm just not sure I should fall her to whims just because she doesn't like it. We've had this problem before with the roosters we processed and she got over it pretty fast. I mean, they are my turkeys that I've been paying for from the get-go. I would like to at least have the option of doing what I feel is best.

I feel so juvenile when dealing with her because I can't be objective about anything. It's always, "What will she think? How can I make this alright with her?" It feels like I can't even manage my own birds. When I'm thinking about it for myself, things are simple and I can handle everything. But when she's around, I get this feeling like I have to subdue my own ideas/knowledge/plans so that she can be comfortable around a flock that isn't even hers.

I think I really need to talk to my parents about this. I can wait to process the tom until he's a bit older, but I'm not sure how long I should hold out. I'd like to improve the flock eventually by starting a breeding program for the turkeys (so I don't have to keep buying ten dollar poults from the feed store), but if I can't buy a new tom eventually for my hens, I'm not sure what I can do.

Thanks for your opinion, though. It puts things in perspective for me, but I suppose it also makes me want to resist giving in to my sister. What a predicament I have.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

One option is:
-Take your sister to a feed store/breeder and let her pick out a young turkey that is not a BB.
-She gets to raise and love on this turkey all she wants, and you buy it for her as a gift.
-Discuss with her that you have to make decisions about the animals you are responsible for, and that you will be doing as you wish with your birds, but that you are happy to help her get started on her own animals that she can make her own decisions about.
-Coo together over the adorable new turkey.

Not sure if that would work out in your situation, but you are right that these are your birds. Part of learning to be an adult means learning how to take responsibility for your actions and animals, AND learning to respect the right of others to do the same with their's. It is a very important life lesson to learn and here is a great opportunity to help teach it.

 

[LBejaran]

One option is:
-Take your sister to a feed store/breeder and let her pick out a young turkey that is not a BB. To be honest, I think that's why she likes my turkeys so much. They are standard bronze turkeys and are infinitely more adorable than BBs.
-She gets to raise and love on this turkey all she wants, and you buy it for her as a gift.
-Discuss with her that you have to make decisions about the animals you are responsible for, and that you will be doing as you wish with your birds, but that you are happy to help her get started on her own animals that she can make her own decisions about. She used to raise these chickens, but then she grew disinterested in doing the chores. That happens when you have them start raising chickens at age 11. Their interests change so quickly. Sigh.
-Coo together over the adorable new turkey. I can see it now, but I have a feeling that I'll end up raising the poult myself. That's actually how I ended up with the flock. One day she's so happy that she has a bunch of baby chicks. The next day, I'm heading to the store to buy 100 lbs. of feed/supplements and laying out concrete beneath the edges of the coop to keep out rats. It happens all the time.

Not sure if that would work out in your situation, but you are right that these are your birds. Part of learning to be an adult means learning how to take responsibility for your actions and animals, AND learning to respect the right of others to do the same with their's. It is a very important life lesson to learn and here is a great opportunity to help teach it.

You're right. I really need to look into purchasing a poult for her to raise. That or I can wait to hatch out some eggs and she can choose which one she definitely wants to keep. Let's just hope she'll try and keep a female that will eventually lay some eggs...and not make our neighbors hate us with her gobbling, haha! Thank you for the advice. It's definitely something I need to discuss with her.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

That or I can wait to hatch out some eggs and she can choose which one she definitely wants to keep

That's a great idea! What a caring big sis.

 

[mustang56]

I'm with Spook on pardon the turkey.....
I think it's very difficult for children and yes teen's to understand that the turkey has to be killed
if they've grown attached to it....
I'd get or hatch more turkey's this year and explain that she can't get attached to them...
and buy a turkey for Thanksgiving at the store....
I don't see it as her getting her own way ... I see it as her saving a friend she loves....
If you don't have to kill the Tom .... I just wouldn't do it.....
My daughter was forced to watch a video on cows getting slaughtered.... She's now a vegetarian....!
I don't know what that has to do with this story..... Just thought I'd throw it in there.....lol

 

[LBejaran]

I'm with Spook on pardon the turkey.....
I think it's very difficult for children and yes teen's to understand that the turkey has to be killed
if they've grown attached to it....
I'd get or hatch more turkey's this year and explain that she can't get attached to them...
and buy a turkey for Thanksgiving at the store....
I don't see it as her getting her own way ... I see it as her saving a friend she loves....
If you don't have to kill the Tom .... I just wouldn't do it.....
My daughter was forced to watch a video on cows getting slaughtered.... She's now a vegetarian....!
I don't know what that has to do with this story..... Just thought I'd throw it in there.....lol

It's not that she doesn't understand, though. She used to raise chickens for FFA, which is why she eventually became a vegetarian and stopped raising them in that way. Now, our flock is free range and she started eating meat a year and a half ago. Trust me when I say that it's not the killing part that she's against. Heck, she asked me if she could cook the rooster we processed into something from an old recipe box. She's very aware of what I do and what becomes of the flock.

I honestly think the problem is that one of the jakes died and she wasn't expecting it. We had planned on consuming the extra male so we wouldn't have territory issues in the spring. When it passed, there wasn't much of a choice after that. Eventually, that other tom is going to have to go. Whether it be because he's getting old or that we just can't keep him any longer, it'll happen. To be honest, I hadn't even realized she'd gotten attached to it. I'm the only one who sees them everyday to feed/water/interact with them. Then she wanted to name the little couple Link and Midna from Legend of Zelda and I was like, "Woah, dude, name them after the villains because we're going to eat one of them someday!" It surprised me when she got so upset over the prospect of us eventually processing him.

He's off limits for now, either way. He's pretty small and let's be real here, I want turkey babies next spring. I'm definitely going to have a chat with her, though, about letting her keep a poult all for herself. I'd love to go along with her and say, "Oh yeah, let's eat the babies instead so we don't have to eat the parents!" but that'll be another year's worth of feed that isn't as cost/time effective.

I hate that it's this complicated. Sometimes, I really wish I was doing this thing on my own.

 

[cassie]

Spook is right about the turkey. He said it better than I would have, but he's right. If you kill that turkey your sister loves, she will remember the pain and loss all of her life and you will regret your decision. It just isn't worth it no matter how much money you have spent on feed. It really isn't. Maybe on Thanksgiving you can put a red bow on the turkey and present him to her as a gift. I have raised a number of turkeys for the table, but I had a pet turkey, too. I will never forget him. And if my husband had butchered him, even though that was our original intent, I never would have forgiven him. Never.

 

[RedPulletMama]

Hello, everybody. I've got a bit of a predicament here at home and I'm not really sure how to handle it.

You see, a couple months back we processed three roosters. I'd been explaining to my little sister for about half a year before that, just preparing her for it. She's fifteen, though, so everything seems like a catastrophe to her. I gave her a way out and didn't force her to deal with the processing. In the end, she accepted it and took the many feathers I collected for her arts and crafts.

Two months ago, I purchased three turkey poults for meat. They turned out to be standard bronze turkeys, though, so I figured we'd just have to wait a year to actually consume them. Whatever, they're cute as hell and I'd love to have some turkey eggs from the hen for hatching anyway. One of the jakes died, unfortunately, so now we're left with one jake and one hen. I still figured we'd be good anyway, considering we could get some replacements to raise for the next year as well.




As it turns out, my sister had other ideas. She knew from the get-go that they were for food but seems to have grown attached to them. She's of the opinion that we can just let the turkeys we have breed and we'll hatch the eggs. The new poults will then be used for food, that way she can grow attached to parents without fear of them being dinner.

I'm just a bit torn. I hate to disappoint my sister. She's my best friend. But I really had planned on getting some hatching eggs from the hen and then processing the tom for Thanksgiving. I spend a lot of money on raising them as an almost-show quality bird, so I guess I could recoup the funds I've spent by selling any poults we hatch out, but I really don't like to count my poults before the eggs have even been laid.

It's just too much. I really can't decide what to do.



If anybody has any advice, that'd be great.

P.S. For reference, I'm 21 and live at home with my family. While they're at school and work, I do freelance graphic design and take care of the chickens/ducks/turkeys/quail/dogs/kitten. Technically, it is my flock, but I consider it a family affair.

Im going out on a limb here and saying that you really do care what your sister thinks or you wouldn't be asking opinions. You know what you want to do, but care very much about your sister and don't want to hurt her in the process. I think you may have already changed your mind about killing the male you say for eggs, I say to keep your sis happy. Is it really that big of a deal to keep it for her. Yes, eventually everything has to die, but he doesn't have to die before his time. Let her love him and attach to him and you make your eggs and take one of those males. Sisters are forever and she will never forget and always be heartbroken if you kill this one, even though it is yours. I believe you have a heart and care or you wouldn't be asking advice. Lots of luck!!