My parents suck....new grandparents wanted

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by tobin123, Aug 2, 2010.

  1. tobin123

    tobin123 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    fountaintown,indiana
    Okay I will explain how my family sucks.My mother>>>she left three kids and divorced my father when we were all youn(10)and ever since then it is always about HER,she and my step-father finally divorced after many years,now she lives by herself in an apartment seeing some weird guy.She has never been the Grandma to my 3 nieces nor to my son.My father>>>he is a alcoholic,married after my mother left him to a woman with 3 boys(all seperate dads)NO JOB,don't ask I have no idea what he sees in her,we never got along.Now to the Present her son has 3 kids all by different moms and my father takes care of them when needed BUT NEVER COMES HERE(I live 15 minutes away)I have the only grand-son(blood) to him and he just wont budge>>>>>WHAT GIVES

    I have been told that ever since I got married,which was after graduation that I just did a lot better than any one and he knows that I am taken care of so why bother.I have begged my parents to come over and see us OR when Zachary shows at the fair I have invited and NO SHOWS.All I want is parents that want to visit my son and take him places and do what grand parents do.I think it is too late now,my son is almost 10 and he has learned about their habits,isn't that awful.
    THANKS FOR LISTENING TO ME BLAB:

    **edited for language**
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 2, 2010
  2. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

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    Sorry.. thats gotta hurt. [​IMG]
    Sounds like its time to stop asking them for anything... including coming to see your kids..
    Its just not worth it if you have to beg someone to come see you....
    Its their loss..
     
  3. chick4chicks

    chick4chicks Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 6, 2008
    N.E. Pa.
    [​IMG] what an awful situation. I feel so bad for you and your son. It will be there loss but I know it really hurts. Keep your chin up. [​IMG]
     
  4. justbugged

    justbugged Head of the Night Crew for WA State

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    Enumclaw
    It sometimes may be better for him to not know these people. From what you have written about them they are not exactly upstanding individuals. I would go looking for others in your community that are in need of grandchildren. Apply at the local senior center. Blood does not have to define who can be a grandparent. You might be surprised and find a parent figure that can enrich your and your sons lives beyond all expectation. If not they weren't family anyway. Though remember to give it time to grow. It is said that 80% of language is unspoken. That is a lot to learn when becoming acquainted.
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2010
  5. friskebluegills

    friskebluegills Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I totally understand your situation. My mom only comes to visit when she wants to go to the casino. she comes here for an hour complains about everything including my husband and tries to constintly control my kids and tell me everything I'm doing wrong and then just leaves to go to ho-chunk. Then she doesn't tell anyone where she has gone and I get phone calls from my brother and dad at midnight asking where she is. i have a 3 year old and a 5 year old. At midnight I want to be sleeping. Plus she expects me to lie to them and tell them that she has just left our house. I of coarse don't because she needs to realize what a gambling problem she has. As far as my dad goes, if it doesn't involve cars or his close friends it doesn't matter. We had to reschedule my daughters first b-day party because they had a car show to go to. Then they decided that weekend that they wanted to have the party at their house because we don't have air conditioning. then they invited a bazillion people over and no one even knew the party was supposed to be for my daughter. We won't reschedule anymore. This year they showed up late and left within an hour. and their reasons for showing up late was nothing but a bunch of crap. Plus if you ask them to help you with anything or if you make plans with them, they will cancel if one of their friends asks them to do anything. even if it is last minute. so I totally understand where you are coming from for just wanting normal people in your childrens lives.
     
  6. tobin123

    tobin123 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    fountaintown,indiana
    I totally agree with you all about looking to find others.my husband always says that just BC they are parents and she gave birth to me that doesn't make them my parents.
    I totally understand about the parties,my father will go boating with a old school friend of mine(her parents and mine are best friends)(she is my age with 2 kids under 7)They all go partying and boating but never once has he asked us to go.I kknow that we wouldn't BUT isn't it the thought that counts.I have been blessed though with an awesome friend who is really great to Zachary and us.When Zachary broke his arm/elbow my parents never came up to RILEY she did,she rode with me while myhusband rode in the ambulance.This whole area of craziness has caused me so much stress and depression.I wish to move far far away and have lots of kids and just live depression free.[​IMG]
     
  7. friskebluegills

    friskebluegills Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jul 17, 2010
    If you do move, let me know how you like it. My husband wants to move to Ely, MN someday and all I've been telling him is we can as soon as we can find jobs. I would miss my friends, but I think I would be a lot less stressed out too if my parents lived more than an hour away.
     
  8. tobin123

    tobin123 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I will tell you if we move /BUT you have to tell me if you move as well.I would love to move but with my husbands job we really need that good source of security BUT you never know.
    BLESSINGS
    FEEL FREE TO VISIT OUR FAMILY BLOG
     
  9. Miltonchix

    Miltonchix Taking a Break

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    Sounds typical where there is some sort of substance abuse going on. Whether it be drugs or alcohol. (never understood why the 2 are separated. They're both drugs).
    They don't want to be around those who aren't like them. They are "hiding in their shame". Don't give up. Believe it or not, in their weird way they do love you. Just right now they love their drug of choice more. Don't distance yourself too much, but definitely keep the kids clear of that kind of influence.
     
  10. Camelot Farms

    Camelot Farms Chickenista

    When you're working harder to build their relationship with their grandkids than they are...its time to quit working.
    ((hugs)) to you and the kids.
     

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