My room mate and a World of Warcraft addiction...

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Chickerdoodle13, Dec 6, 2009.

  1. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

    Mar 5, 2007
    Phoenix, AZ
    I'll try not to go into too many details, but this past friday my room mate who I've known for about 8 or 9 years (and who I thought I was good friends with) took off to Tampa, Florida to meet some guy she's been "dating" through world of warcraft. She didn't tell anyone she was leaving and only took $70 with her to pay for gas. When she realized that wasn't enough money, she called her mom and asked for $200. Of course that raised suspicions. I had already been worrying about where she had gone, as she had been away for about 5 hours and she's not one to drive. She told her mom that a friend from home and her had decided on a "whim" to go to Virginia. We later found out she was by herself and heading to Tampa. Apparently she was planning on blowing off finals this week to meet this boy and no one would have been able to find her if she had been hurt. Who knows who this guy could be!

    Her mom ended up convincing her to turn around and come home. She had already hit Virginia and didn't get back until almost 1:30 at night. She openly lied to me about who she was with and where she was going and caused me to worry that the worst had happened. I was ready to call the police and put out a missing person's report.

    It's now sunday and she's back. Before school ends I have to talk to her and I'm really not looking forward to it. She is an adult, and frankly she can do what she wants to do, but she should not have taken off like that and then later lied about where she was going. Surprisingly I'm not mad, but I am very very disappointed. I also know she needs help. Her World of Warcraft addiction is as bad as someone on drugs. She sleeps all day and stays awake all night talking to guys. She's missing out on life and ignoring the people around her. I'm hoping this episode was enough to get her mom to do something about it. Her mom is a wonderful person, but sadly I don't think anything will change.

    So anyways, I am waiting until my other two room mates leave at some point during the next three days and I am planning to talk to her in private. I don't want to sound like I'm butting into her business, but I want to let her know where I stand. I am setting up an appointment with a counselor I work for to get ideas how to approach my friend about her addiction. I probably will not be able to change her, but at least I can let her know how I feel. Oh how I am not looking forward to this. [​IMG]

    Sometimes I feel like I care too much, and I always get hurt in the end. My dad tells me this, but I always feel that maybe, just maybe I can help make a difference in someone's life. It gets tiring after awhile to always feel like I have to be the bigger person.

    If anyone has experience dealing with things like this, please let me know. I don't want to see my room mate get hurt, even if she did lie to me. Unfortunately in the end, if she gets hurt, she gets hurt but at least I can say I didn't just stand around and let it happen.
  2. Overeasyplz

    Overeasyplz Chillin' With My Peeps

    Nov 8, 2009
    Thats why they call it "Warcrack" lol
    Most likely the guy she was going to go meet was a basement dweller. A real loser. Tell her there's a big difference between reality and Warcraft.. And her education will get her farther than her level 80 score. Good luck!
  3. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

    Dec 25, 2007
    Chaparral, New Mexico
    That's hard, my son plays Warcraft and Magic and knows others who have been drawn into it like she has. When you are in school you need the Internet so cutting it is not an option usually. One of friends had to literally sit with her son the entire time he was online doing research and homework to keep him from "just checking" on his WoW account which then would turn into hours. Steven said if she doesn't realize or admit she's got a problem now she won't until she gets hurt.

    PS: Not all game players are basement dwelling losers, some are very nice people.
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2009
  4. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

    Mar 5, 2007
    Phoenix, AZ
    This is not the first time she has tried to sneak off to meet a boy. The first one was 16 and she was 19 at the time. She tried to go to Tennessee but her mom caught her in time. She actually began playing the game because she liked my brother. She used it as a way to get close to him. And its not like she doesn't have guys in real life who like her, but she claims she is saving herself for these boys on WoW.

    She has also been missing several classes and goes late to almost all of them. After she lied to me, I did tell her mom about this. Her mom is paying for her education and originally I was going to keep quiet. She changed my mind real fast after lying.

    The main problem is that to her, the game IS reality. Its like talking to a brick wall when you say she is wasting her time on the game. When I talk to her, I don't want her to lock me out so I'm going to try and be as positive as possible. Ughhh...
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2009
  5. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    I understand that you are concerned for your friends safety..and thats all i would tell her...dont get into a lengthy discussion about it. Shes an adult now..if she wants to run off and meet jack the ripper then she can. I'm sure that she knows the risks involved with this type of thing..
    I would explain to her that shes an adult and can do what she wants and that you wont judge her for it....BUT to lie to you was just wrong and hurtful.
    Why did she feel the need to lie to you? You're not her're her friend.. thats just weird..IMO..
    Also..explain to her that telling you the truth is VERY important in these types if situations...what if he was a creep and he hurt her? How would anyone know where to find her??
  6. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

    Mar 5, 2007
    Phoenix, AZ
    Thanks redhen. That is basically what I am planning to tell her. Although, once before she mentioned she wanted to meet this guy when he was coming up here to visit someone else. I told her NOT to go by herself, and that I would go with her and she can meet him the safe way. This would mean both of my parents would know exactly where we are and she would not be alone. It would also be in a public place that we are familiar with. I made it explicitly clear that I would be willing to do this and that I would not judge her for wanting to meet him. Internet relationships can work, but I believe you have to be safe about it. You have no idea who is out there and what they will do.

    She is still very immature. I don't think she understands the danger she is putting herself in. She's one to do whatever you ask her to do, and so she's really at risk. For whatever reason she is desperate right now and it seems she will do anything to meet this boy. I can't say I understand people [​IMG]
  7. lorrir

    lorrir Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 19, 2009
    Upstate SC
    Our middle son no longer works for the family company and longer lives at our home because of internet gaming. Ya wanna stay up all night and play, fine.... But if can't work your gone.
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2009
  8. rebelcowboysnb

    rebelcowboysnb Confederate Money Farm

    Sounds like a normal collage kid to me. My vice was CB tag in collage then I had a partying faze after collage. Played some warcrack to over the years. An running off for days on end was normal to. I tried to get my little brother to go off to collage so he could get that independent experience.
  9. deb1

    deb1 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 26, 2008
    I understand being upset with her for lying to her. Don't trust this young lady anymore.

    I don't mean to hurt your feelings. You sound as if you want to help her. The problem is that you can't save people that don't want to be saved.
    I think that you are taking on responsibilties that are really not your place to take on. She is an adult. It doesn't matter that her parents pay her way through college. If she wants to ruin their trust for some one who might be a looser, that is really her decision to make. Unless she if very, very close to you, then your efforts won't be appreciated. If she wants your help then she will confide in you.

    Take it from someone who probably has a savior complex herself, you will only cause yourself unneccesary mental anguish and alienate the young lady, by getting overly involved in her problems without her permission.
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2009
  10. deb1

    deb1 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Jun 26, 2008
    Quote:These are very good suggestions. I am curious though.

    We can't read tone of voice in a post. How did you approach her with this idea?

    If you said to me, Deb, for safety sake, why don't you let me go along? I would not be offended. But if you said, Deb, you need to do as I think best, I would get annoyed and I am an adult.

    Perhaps the way you are approaching this girl is at fault.

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