My room mate is angry...

Chickerdoodle13

The truth is out there...
12 Years
Mar 5, 2007
6,820
423
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Phoenix, AZ
If there's one thing I hate more than anything is people who don't act maturely in situations. I was out with my other room mate and a friend today taking pictures of rmy photography class. My room mate "S" went home for the weekend and came back today.

A little background: We found a cat last week that had been dumped off at our college campus. I was supposed to bring it to the shelter today but found out one was a kill shelter and the other charged $50 to drop off your cat. I couldn't even get a person on the phone to see what they would do with a cat we "found". So I got an extension from the RA to keep the cat till friday when I can bring it home and find someone to take it there.

So when my room mate got back to the apartment, she started sending me annoyed text messages asking why the cat was still in the apartment and asking where we were. I could tell right away she was upset at something. I asked and got more rude responses. (I don't know why she would be mad about the cat. She was the other one who wanted to bring it back to the apartment after the other room mate found it.) First of all, I hate text messaging. If you have a problem with something, call me. Don't text me and expect I'm going to explain things via text.

I told her I would talk when I got back to the apartment. So far she's been completely ignoring me. If I try and talk to her, she walks away. We are nearly 21...not children anymore. The least she can do is look me in the face and tell me why she's being so nasty to all of us. Right now she's watching a movie by herself in the living room and pouting like a three year old. Normally I would just let it go and hope things will be better in the morning, but she's been acting like this ever since we got back to school. When I ask her what's wrong she blames her "mood" on the fact that our room mate from last year had to transfer to another school. IMO, that's no excuse to treat the rest of us like crud!

Ugh, I'm so ready to pull my hair out with people. I love being at college, but I've seen so much nastiness this year already that it makes me sick. And people wonder why I'd rather spend time with my horses!
 
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All I can say is I sure do not miss having roommates!

Hang in there! If you have already tried to talk to her and she is just being immature then just ignore the tantrum. She is probably dealing with her own issues and not dealing with them well from the sound of it. If it were me I would just go about my own business and when and if she feels like actually talking then put some energy toward her.
 
I know what you mean about texts. I hate it when people text a question that requires more than a yes or no answer. I am not going to type out whole sentences in a text!
 
The silent treatment is a passive-agressive manipulative tactic and it makes me madder than a setting hen! She wants you to make a big deal over her. The only treatment for this tactic is to completely ignore her, you can't talk in a mature way with someone who's acting like a 3-year-old.
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yes, reciprocate her passive aggressive silence, let her be a pouty hormonal .................................................... and she'll get the message
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I would have done the same... I wouldn't drop off at a shelter where I didn't know the outcome, and with only a kill shelter available, I would have also done the same and kept the kitty till you could take it to a safe house.

Cheers, for being the better human and being compassionate.
 
You probably need to stop answering any texts from her. Tell her it is no longer part of your plan (it isn't if you "plan to not do any texting with her").

Ignore baby-ish behavior. I hope things work out better for you. I met my best friend when we were paired up as college roommates many years ago. We were very lucky. A friend I had known since junior high joined us the following year--that was a disaster, and only lasted a semester; but my best friend--we roomed together until graduation, and were maid/matron of honor at each others weddings. Still keep in close touch decades later.
 
Thanks guys! I basically ignored her, but didn't go out of my way to do so. Just went about my business. I won't be around much tomorrow with classes all day, but she's knows I'm upset with her so hopefully she'll either snap out of it or come talk to me. Either way, there will be a "group" talk in order. My one room mate (The one who took the old one's place. I've known her for about ten years) told me that "S" was pretty snippy with her the other night. I think we just need to talk it out when she feels she can be an adult.

I love my room mates, I really do. We all chose each other, and I've always considered "S" to be one of my best friends. It just seems like this year she's going out of her way to disagree with me. I guess what hurts the most is that we are normally very close. She blames it on the other room mate leaving (Who I was not very close to at all. She had to leave to finish her 6 yr degree at another school) They were very close, but eventually you have to move on.

I haven't been in the best spirits this year myself, but I mostly keep that to myself so I don't take it out on others. I've been going to the gym to work off all my bad feelings and it really helps a lot. Thank goodness we decided to keep the cat for an extra week! He's the only other thing keeping me sane!
 

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