need help with 6yo wandering

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by cheri222, Aug 13, 2010.

  1. cheri222

    cheri222 Songster

    May 12, 2010
    Erie PA
    Ok here's the problem: our 6yo son (adopted from China 1.5 years ago) has been up wandering at night, eating candy drinking pop going through others things and taking /breaking things. He has severe RAD due to abuse. He has had every therapy available. The boys rooms are interconnected so I can't lock him in (I am against locking a child in a room). Nothing seems to work. I thought we were making progress but today I found another huge stash. He esp likes to destroy others electronics, cell phones, controllers, games. Any suggestions?? Any type of alarm that I have seen he can turn off. If no suggestions--thanks for listening.
  2. mburpo

    mburpo Chirping

    Jun 10, 2010
    Paragon, IN
    Motion sensor in his bedroom by his door connected to a buzzer in your room. Install is when he's not around, so he doesn't know it's there.

    That's my only idea.
  3. Lifetime chicken lover

    Lifetime chicken lover Songster

    Jun 26, 2009
    Rogers, MN
    Do you give him rewards when he DOESN'T do those things? I think the best approach with these kind of things is rewarding him when he exhibits desirable behavior, rather than punishing the bad.

    Maybe also supply him with objects that he is allowed to break, or take apart or whatever it is he wants to do with them.

    Perhaps you may also need to lock up the pantry or refrigerator or where ever he is getting the midnight snacks.
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2010
  4. That must be SO frustrating.

    My suggestions would be to keep up with the therapy and make sure you have a clear plan for reinforcing the therapy at home. 6 years is still very young and it is still likely he'll be able to get through this and become a well adjusted little boy.

    I'm not against locking up things you need to keep safe. Food, electronics . . . It may transfer his behavior to another to another target, hopefully something that is easier and cheaper to replace. Or if may reinforce the idea in his head that he NEEDS to hoard and destroy these things because he cannot have access to them. Only you and his therapist know what is best for him. Do any of his therapist have a lot of experience with RAD?

    Try to find a local support group or an online support group for other parents in your situation. I think that would be the BEST place to find support, ideas and understanding.

  5. cheri222

    cheri222 Songster

    May 12, 2010
    Erie PA
    Great input, thank you. Wireless motion alarm system ordered and will be here by Aug 18. He was actually removed from "post traumatic cognative behavioral therapy" due to inability to make progress. Rewards don't make a diff, time outs--kick hit and bite. Speaks perfect english so it is not a language barrier. We have worked with many therapists and psychiatrists with no progress. Finally broke the cruelty to animals issue, took him to my friends farm and he kicked a full grown male turkey. Boy can that kid run!! Sorry, but no harm was done to the child or the turkey but he now respects all animals. (there was also a goat involved in the chase). He was also removed from preschool/early intervention 2 times last year due to aggressive behavior towards adults. He is esp aggressive towards women due to women being the caregivers in china. We are talking cuts, burns, tie down scars and starvation. (weighed 27lbs at 4.5 years old and can still wear 24 month clothes). We are waiting for kindergarten to decide if there are adhd components in his behav. I jokingly told the school that I will be taking my phone off the hook, so don't call. Really thanks--I just needed to vent for my mental health today.
  6. I dont know if it will work for you or not, but I think Lowes carries these little cheap door alarms that are magnetic, and you use a key to turn them off and on...You can switch it on instant or delay...Stick one up on the top of his door or if his room is down a hall put a cheap door on the front of the hallway and put the alarm there so when he goes to enter the LR or Kitchen it sets off the alarm....I would say put it up on top of the door so its sideways facing the ceiling, and have it set on delay (about 5 seconds or so delay - I have these [​IMG] )and this way when he goes to go out and get into something, the alarm goes off, and its on the outside of the door where he can't access it without setitng it off, and its out of reach and takes batteries not electricity.

    Also I would suggest putting an alarm or a lock on your fridge and freezer at night so again - you are alerted and woken up so you can go and intervene and talk to him when he is actually DOING this behavior and not catching him later on after the fact.

    I suggest like someone else said, find an online support group, research for a therapist who has major experience and success with kids with RAD and discuss options and ideas with them. Good luck and I think with time, patience, and effort things will work out.
  7. sunflowerenvy

    sunflowerenvy Songster

    Apr 4, 2010
    south/west tn
    congrads on adopt your son.
    first lock up your sugar sweets dont let him see u eating or drinking , or remove them from your home for a month. bed put bed alarm on the bed too. give him toys are can be taking apart and be back. have him play outside alot to tired him out and give him a bath and read him a story at night. maybe this will slow his mind down before bed.
  8. Miltonchix

    Miltonchix Taking a Break

    Jul 14, 2007
    Milton, Florida
    This has got to be one of the worst places to seek advice. SORRY. You get 15 or 100 replies, you'll get 15 or 100 different "EXPERT" opinions. Seek your counseling at the proper place before you end up doing the child more harm than good.
    Now all you "EXPERTS" can gang up on me and tell me how I don't know squat. And I'm sure I'll get a DIFFERENT piece of advice from each one of you.
  9. The Chicken People

    The Chicken People Songster

    May 4, 2009
    Smithville, Mo
    Miltonchix..I dont think I read anywhere in any of the replies that anyone claimed to be an EXPERT!
    I believe a few people suggested seeking other help from experts! Therefore I feel they gave good advice!
    Take away sugary treats , let a child play outside , give warm baths and read stories...sounds like the kind of love and guidance all children shold have with or without RAD!
    If you cant say anything nice...Why even join BYC?
  10. 1_FnkyFrm

    1_FnkyFrm Songster

    Jun 6, 2010
    Knoxville, Tn
    Have you thought about giving him a lil tool box and tools. Give him some old electronics that he can act like we is working on or actually take apart himself. Might help stimulate his mind better and wear him down. Just make sure to cut the cords off before you give them to him and just give him the tools when you can keep an eye on him ....

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