need help with 6yo wandering

[The Chicken People]

My son didnt suffer from RAD or any abuse...just a normal child, however he did take stuff apart like crazy as a child! He now builds computers!

 

[Miltonchix]

Quote:
Would you post your personal affairs/problem on a 3 X 5 card and go around putting them on any bulletin board you found?
Same thing as here.
Yes, she does get some good advice but NONE of you know the child and hear only what OP states. (NOT saying she is lying or anything else bad) A TRAINED counselor doesnt' just go on what mom may say. Observation, and dealing with the child one on one is also an essential part.
I've read many a "I need advise" posts here. It appears that some are simply looking for justification of bad behavior. Cherry pick details they post and we never know the whole story but a lot are anxious to give advice in support . When it comes to chickens this IS the place to seek advice. When it comes to Psychiatric evaluations...................see a counselor/shrink/clergy etc.

Would you want YOUR piece of well meaning advice to be the one that does more harm than good?? Maybe everyone should think of that before offering well intentioned, but potentially harmful advice.
This particular child is an exceptional case. This isn't a my child-kicked-the-dog-and-spilled-his-milk. This child NEEDS special counseling and EXPERT advice.

 

[MysticScorpio82]

You could install a little door alarm (they are cheap) so if the door is opened it will emit a LOUD high pitched beeping. That will alert you and your hubby. I would be worried about a little one wandering around, getting into things at night, while everyone is in bed (But then again, I am a worry-wort

).

Also I would take all the candy and put it away (even if you have to have a locked area for it) so he can't get into it. I know with my 4 year old, sugar has BAD effects on her. She turns from a darling to a demon

. Before going to bed at night, pick up any electronics he would normally break. I like the idea of having a box of some old electronics that he can take apart!! Redirection is always a plus

. Also, I think I would take the soda out of the house. The sugar that is in soda is just too much and it;s really not good for kids and adults alike (I am guilty of having some every now and then). I am not trying to judge you, so I apologize if it sounds like that. I am just trying to help and I know sugar has a MAJOR impact on child behavior. Give it a try for 2 weeks and see if there is a difference.

Also I LOVE super Nanny. You can watch some episodes on http://www.hulu.com for free. She has alot of good tips and ideas.

I hope this get better! I will be sending some prayers and loving thoughts your way!

 

[cassie]

Quote:
Sometimes getting suggestions from the "been there, done that" crowd is a whole lot better than advice from "experts" that haven't. Plus, the OP is looking for suggestions in addition to rather than instead of professional advice. For the record, I can give you reams of examples where the opinions of the experts were just plain wrong. Like the theory that autism was caused by poor mothering, for example.

 

[cheri222]

Sorry to cause so much ...We have experts out the butt. Just wanted to vent and see if there were any suggestions from other moms. Some of the moms do have better suggestions than the experts. Yes we have a support group. We make baby steps of progress and it is very frustrating. Every time we think we have a behavior under controll 2 new ones show up. We have emotion mirrors and charts to help him identify his emotions, he is in baseball, tumbling and mighty mights at the y. We attend cleft palate clinic and all their activities. Early intervention, adoption counselling and family counselling. I was a pediatric nurse and thought I knew so much and could handle this--not as easy as I thought. The alarm will be here on the 17th or 18th I don't know why I never thought of door alarms and neither did the experts. I just knew he shut the bed alarm off. So yes your insight did help and I appreciate it. Thank You

 

[littlefarm_bighappy]

Cheri222,
i just want you you know that moms like you wow and inspire "normal" moms like me with homegrown kiddos with no significant issues.

I mean seriously, I so admire your commitment to this child that *you* went so far out of your way to make a home for your son in this cruel world.

When I think of how ungrateful i am sometimes when parenting my children that I gave birth to... and then look at moms that have willingly signed up for what you have, well, you humble me.

Thanks for setting an example.

Good luck with your son.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
I'm sure everyone who really wants to help this woman will over look your myopic post.

 

[debilorrah]

Cheri, I am sure that you are still in the "try it as see if it works" phase of finding therapy. For a child with such severe abuse issues, it is about finding the right treatment and the right person providing that treatment. 18 months is not a long time to be searching for it either. Give yourself a break and keep moving forward to find the one that will help him best.

I agree with others about locking up the treats, but I would make sure he has full access to health foods - keep pre-made servings of apples and peanut butter, or carrots and ranch dip, raisins, fruits, on hand so he can get those if he feels hungry or is having nightmares about being hungry and mistreated. I believe eventually, he will come to know that those things are always there for him, and some of this hoarding food may stop.

That being said, I am a 48 year old woman who has had a lifelong obsession with making sure I have enough candy. I don't eat it, I just have to know it is there. You should see my stash at work!!!

 

[ScaredOfShadows]

Quote:
I am glad the door alarm idea was helpful.

I used a door stop alarm not to long back when my DD was having nightmares and would get up and ramble in the kitchen and fridge, so I put a lock on the fridge (it was old

) every night, and a doorsto alarm on the outside of the door so when she woke up and tried to push the door open (was always cracked) - it would set the alarm off and I could wake up and go get her settled back down.

I figure if when you have treats and cookies or with my DD her radio/light combo (princesses - lol) she kept messing with it when she went to bed, so i put it up high where she couldn't reach it...Figured the age old 'put it out of reach' would work for you too with the alarm system for him getting up.

Good luck and I am so glad you have so much help and are going through so much for your new son. My hopes, well wishes, and adoration are yours!