Ok, I will paint the picture a bit. A friend of mine of 17 years (not too close with her) - has 1 daughter from a previous marriage, divorced 6 years ago- presently dating My husbands cousin for 5 years- daughter is 9 years old (quite snooty and rude) - DH's cousin ok, but not nice to the daughter, very bossy toward kids...yells at her a lot - "friend" yells a lot and overly strict with daughter. For example, if eating dinner, not allowed to talk at all and if she drinks all her tea/juice is NOT allowed any more. Basically treats her like she is on boot camp even if she is being good and behaving. Both friend and DH's cousin live in HER parents basement (mind you , they are 30 and 36 years old, he owns a house but doesn't want to pay bills so he rents it out) So, now that you kind of know how it is, my friend emailed asking if she could "borrow" my kids for a sleep over. I really feel strongly about them NOT going over there. I don't want them treating my kids the way they treat theirs. My kids are well behaved kids with great manners. I am worried that if I tell them exactly why I don't want them going over there, there will be a big stink and being that I see them at every family gathering, I don't want any awkwardness. DH's parents basically raised his cousin because the cousin lost both of his parents when he was young. So the cousin is very close with DH's family, we really don't want to start problems, but both feel string that we don't want our kids sleeping over in her parents basement! What can I tell her without starting a big thing?