Need some advice and suggestions - Kids sleep over!

Sounds like its time to ground the kids for something...
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We don't do sleep overs. That is what I say. If I get asked why I say No idea we just don't do them and never will. I would say that and suggest getting together for an hour or 2 to let the kids play.But if the nagging started to just let the kids stay over I would say...OOOPS time flies time to go home!

Yea,you are right not to get into the parenting styles.Sounds like hell for that kid emotionally.Avoid it since you can not change it.Some kids live such sad lives behind closed doors.
 
I am one of those quirky parents that rarely goes for a sleepover. My oldest daghter would have a few sleepovers (now 26) but it was a case by case scenerio, but they were few and far between and I knew the parents well enough. Just the same I devised the "I spilled nail polish on my comforter" Basically whenever my daughter was anywhere at anytime and didn't like what was going on she would call me and say she forgot to tell me she spilled nailpolish on her comforter, could I clean it,..that meant I was to tell her it was time to come home, I picked her up, she saved face. Once one of her friends and her road bikes over the another friends and she wasn't comfortable with what was happening there and she did the nail polish deal.
Anyhow, as for sleepovers. I don't care how well you think you know a casual friend, you don't. My youngest daughter, I had the guilt thrown on bout how over protective I was, so she did have more leway in the sleepover scenerio one summer, with her best friend right down the road. I found out there had been too much freedom and nipped that in the bud, but let me say it definitely had an affect on my daughter. The girls had been sneaking out from the friends house and there was alcohol available int he house the girls had gotten into. They slept at my house one night and I caught them sneaking out and then of course I found out what had been happening. So yes I became even more hardnosed on the sleep over deal after that, because if something is done to my children or they are given freedom to be in a situation they shouldn't be exposed to, I can't rewind that from who they are. Sleepovers create a situation that makes me uncomfortable. Now this goes both ways. I also don't have kids sleepover my house as well, for pretty much the same reasoning and also because I don't want that sort of responsibility or vulnerbility on my own family. Someone has to pass a very deep trust factor with me for my children to be left in their care. We have 5 children ages ranging from 8 to 26 and I have never had a babysitter, bar an older sibling watching a younger one. But I think we are responsible for the vulnerabilites of our children and I won't apologize to anyone about wanting my children safe at the cost of their feelings. I am responsible for what they are exposed to. I would just say ,..oh sleepovers, we don't do that
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When camping out at someone else's house you don't invite a horde of other people over. That's Rude 101. If you feel bad about assuming you could always call cousin's mom (aunt?) and ask if she's okay with it. Might turn out that her and hubby are going to be away and don't mind at all. OR could be they're really peeved about it but don't want a big war on their hands so they're being cowed in their own home. Never know unless you ask... and once you know their feelings you can better figure what you'd like to do.

*blush* I can't talk about the dinner strictness thing... if my kids jabber instead of eating I'll give them the eye... but it takes a while. If everyone else is almost done and they've only taken one bite... that sort of thing. But that's mostly an out to eat thing. At home you don't have to wait until everyone is done. You finish your food (they tend to show off their plates in the hopes of dessert) and then you can go. Usually that's nice because then me and pop can sit and eat in peace and talk. Drinkwise if they finish their drink they can't have more because on more than one occasion they've downed too much liquid and have no room for their supper. Not usually a problem at home, but when we go out to eat where the waiter just automatically refills drinks that's been an issue. But to not allow ANY talking... well, there's a reason it's called a dinner party and not a dinner execution. As long as the kids eats, and does their talking with an empty mouth (ew) I don't have a problem.
 
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I like the nail polish thing! I think it's important, especially for girls) to have an out. girls can be pushy and look down on others who choose to take the high road. I couldn't tell you how many times I did dumb things with other kids just because I felt like I didn't have much of a choice.

kudos to you mama!
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I like the nail polish thing! I think it's important, especially for girls) to have an out. girls can be pushy and look down on others who choose to take the high road. I couldn't tell you how many times I did dumb things with other kids just because I felt like I didn't have much of a choice.

kudos to you mama!
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That was the good part, she could argue with me,..oh how come I can't stay longerwaaaa waaaa,..I looked like the mean mom and she got a pass on the situation, Worked great for us.
 
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I totally agree! If my kids are talking more than eating, I will tell them 'Less talking, more eating" But this little girl has to sit there like a little soldier and eat her food (if she likes it or not) and has to time the drinking to coincide with the eating.
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I totally agree! If my kids are talking more than eating, I will tell them 'Less talking, more eating" But this little girl has to sit there like a little soldier and eat her food (if she likes it or not) and has to time the drinking to coincide with the eating.
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That is weird.....
 
Is this woman a teacher? You just described lunch in the school cafeteria. Actually, they get to talk more then, unless there's an uber strict cafeteria monitor. That's definitely odd. Dinner with your family is supposed to improve family communications, relations, etc. leading to more open communication later and a more stable-feeling environment overall... according to 'studies' anyways. That kind of stuff... I could easily see a kid leaving home the minute they turn 17 (that's the age in TX when folks can't call you a runaway and have the cops bring you back) or even possibly leading to an eating disorder. It's just not a good idea to force feed, well unless you're really into foie gras.

Hmm... how to help without causing a war.... maybe articles on the subject left in obvious places? I did a quick google in another tab and found a couple that might be worth a read and/or print.

http://becausemomsaidso.com/2006/10/force-feeding-children-look-into.html
http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/blogs/vitamin-g/2010/04/were-you-made-to-finish-your-p.html
http://www.grandparents.com/gp/grou...ussions/thread386441/index.html?page=2#405227
http://www.fatlotofgood.org.au/?p=237
http://www.fitsugar.com/Eat-Off-Smaller-Plates-Help-Portion-Control-5893774

If nothing else her reading these might make her get huffy at the upstart, ungrateful brats that are dissing their folks by blabbing. At least it's awareness. *shrug*
 
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