I know I'm new and have not got to know anyone here yet but I've read a couple of older threads about members being in less then ideal relationships. I left a 14 month relationship with a controlling man in November. I have this fatal flaw of being a people pleaser and as others probably know its extremely hard to please a controlling person. The only thing I can really look back and say I enjoyed about the relationship was taking care of his flock. While he could be kind sometimes it's amazing that the chickens showed more enthusiasm about seeing me then he did. I know I didn't do anything wrong in the relationship. I loved him with every inch of my soul and I did everything he said he wanted out of the relationship but there was no pleasing this man. I want 2013 to be the year about me. I've never been single for a full year in my adult life (I'm 33) since being out of college. I want to learn about myself and learn to love my self and learn how to have fun on my own. I want to take up running to drop this last 15 pounds. I want to make improvements on my home to make it more enjoyable. I want to get my own flock to anchor me at home. I found the flock to be entertaining and relaxing - like an aquarium. So...as I read on older posts.....I've seen many women speak about enjoying the single life after a bad relationship before they finally met a man they were compatible with. How do I resist the urges of jumping back on a dating site to look for another companion to fill that empty space or to distract me from thinking about my ex? How do I convince myself there is no empty space or fill it with something other than the responsibilities of another relationship? I keep trying to tell myself 'this year is about you and only you'. edited - sorry I devulged way too much information but it helped me gain some clairity.