NOBODY LISTENING!!!!!

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by pokey, Feb 23, 2009.

  1. pokey

    pokey Warrior Princess

    Jun 1, 2008
    upstate
    ok, i will give into the fact that most women are moody while they are pregnant. i have been 99% myself until now. i can't get ANYONE in my family or his to understand we do not want a traditional baby shower.PERIOD. all i want is a SMALL couples shower that is kinda like a bbq/ cookout/ baby shower. my husband is fine with that. now i am getting calls from his aunt suggesting what month she and his sister think i need to have it in. [​IMG] [​IMG] i just want for myself and my husband to decide where when how and who to invite. not asking for much, but i don't want a bunch of people there i don't know or whom i really am not close to. this was very personal to me......[​IMG]:rant
    and do not get me started on the baby shower games. I DO NOT LIKE PEOPLE RUBBING MY BELLY!!!!!! and they want to play some kinda game where they tie some kinda string around my stomach. SO NOT HAPPENING!!!! ok i am finished with my rant.... any suggestions as to how i can get someone to listen please tell me. otherwise,this is not going to go very well..... [​IMG]
     
  2. CATRAY44

    CATRAY44 Lard Cookin Chicken Woman

    I hear you there! Do you have a trusted friend or sibling with a pitbull constitution, who could throw the party? Have them do all the planning with your considerations in mind. Tell the rest that it is all set and planned.
     
  3. mjdtexan

    mjdtexan Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 30, 2008
    Houston(ish)
    I have found that I prefer other people to have to deal with uncomfortable situations, not me. What I mean is this, tell them no, be precise, and swift. Ifin you do not, you will be angry and uncomfortable, not them. If you tell them swiftly, you will probably be uncomfortable doing it but it will be over swiftly and then you have transferred the "uncomfortableness" to someone else and you can resume that smile. Ifin you do not, then you will have to keep feeling pinned in, upset, uncomfortable, etc etc. That will last only until you tranfer it to someone else. Good luck with that. I cant say I know how you feel cause I will never be preggers. My first wife was though and all I can say is OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

    Mike D

    <----------Lifts glass to you and your husbands pregnacy.
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2009
  4. Aww honey, take a deep breath....

    They played that string the belly game with me at my shower too. It was AWFUL! Nothing like calling attention to how much of a heffier they think you are [​IMG]

    No offense!

    Make them listen and have it your way. I planned my last baby shower 3 years ago, hosted it, cooked all the food, made the invitiations myself... Some might think it was bad of me to do that but I knew what I wanted and I got it! It was the best baby shower ever!

    We did play a shower game, with play dough. Everyone had to make babies out of play dough. They put their made baby on a paper plate that had their name on the bottom of the plate. Dh and I did not watch people make their babies.
    Then we picked the best baby and they won a prize. We gave a gift basket.

    It was hilarious! Some of the babies people made who were not artsy people. I will never forget it!
     
  5. emandmikey

    emandmikey Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Apr 30, 2008
    Wake Forest, NC
    I say you should be FIRM and CLEAR about what you want - WHO you want to invite, and say it more than once, and to more than one person so EVERYONE knows how you feel about the situation. Most likely people just want to feel 'a part' of the excitement (aunts/cousins), and it would be nice for you to let them plan it - but with strict guidelines like NO GAMES, it's a Cookout, and for Couples that you know - not everyon on the wedding invitation list! Be clear and consise, and you should be fine! Good luck! Em
     
  6. NancyDz

    NancyDz Chillin' With My Peeps

    Oct 9, 2008
    Dutch Flat, CA
    I don't know I hate these kind of things too..

    Suggesting what month you have it in isnt really that big of a deal.. they are trying to be helpful. It doesnt mean they arent going to follow your wishes.
    Put your foot down and say if they plan anything other than what you said you wanted
    then you will not attend .. period end of story. Let them know you are serious, don't bring
    the whole hormonal thing into it or they won't take you serious.


    On the other hand, they are just excited about your baby and for them those things are
    part of it. Does that mean you have to do what they want? No, but you could ask them to
    compromise on some things and you compromise on a couple yourself. Tell them you
    hate some of those games and come up with something new. One thing I did recently
    at a baby shower that was more fun than the normal games was to have a bunch of
    white onesies in different sizes. Then have the material paint pens and everyone designs their own onesie for the baby. It was fun, some just had lettering on
    with funny things related to the parents interests... others had cute designs. The dad was
    a musician so there was lots of funny shirts related to that. Like "Dad's Roadie"
    Showers can be fun , just tell them you'll participate but you want to be in on the planning as
    you are private and many of the normal games/etc make you uncomfortable. Maybe write it down... so you can get your thoughts out without hurting feelings or saying things you dont mean.

    Good luck! And congrats on your baby!

    Nancy
     
  7. pokey

    pokey Warrior Princess

    Jun 1, 2008
    upstate
    i don't mean to sound unapprecitative, i am just one of those people who like to do things themselves and i ask for very little help. my husband laughs b/c i never do things the easy way, yes i am stubborn and hardheaded. i just don't see the need for 4 baby showers. i would rather spend the money on the baby in other ways.like diapers, money for college.....ect....
     
  8. crtrlovr

    crtrlovr Still chillin' with my peeps

    Quote:That was a GREAT idea!
     
  9. NancyDz

    NancyDz Chillin' With My Peeps

    Oct 9, 2008
    Dutch Flat, CA
    Quote:4!!! Yea that's too many.... 2 usually covers family and friends......
    Just tell them that is too much and they need to narrow it down as the doc said you need
    to relax and not have a lot of activity... they won't question what the doc says [​IMG]

    Nancy
     
  10. farmerlor

    farmerlor Chillin' With My Peeps

    Here's the thing: "Showering" a mother and her infant with gifts celebrating a new life is a tradition as old as civilization. While these celebrations used to take place after the birth and were traditionally supposed to be homemade gifts or food, today's showers are just another reason for a party. Sure, people are still welcoming and celebrating a new life for mother, father and child but some of this stuff is just ridiculous. Don't ruin everyone's chance to show you how happy they are for you but don't be afraid to lay down some very, very firm rules about what will and will not be allowed. This pregnancy is all yours and you get to enjoy it within YOUR parameters.
     

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