I have not had a cigarette for nine hours and twenty minutes. I would have normally smoked around 12 cigarettes in that length of time. I am not quitting smoking- to say that would be setting myself up for failure. It is my crutch to deal with stress and I have a lot going on right now. However having a machine tell you that your lungs are 159 years old, and the doctor sending your chest xrays out to a specialist, well...it kind of takes the thrill out of a cigarette and loads it with guilt. However, I told myself that I will severely cut down. Even if it causes me to gain a million pounds and I am lonely because all of my friends are scared of me (crabby). I will do it for my children. BUT I gave myself permission to have a cigarette at 6:15. (I did the same thing at 3:15...but I made it through, said- aww heck, go for 4:15, etc etc...) But I really want one- bad. really really bad. Stupid addiction. I feel guilty for wanting one. I have smoked for 26 years. Okay now I will go find the quitting smoking thread and tell myself I can have a cigarette after I have read all the pages in that thread.