Oh...snap!

[kargo]

It's a really long story, but this is my fourth year at my school and I'm just now making friends. Today, I was talking about my mom, and I asked one of my new friends, "What do your parents do for a living?" She answered, and I told her what my mom did. Then she asked me, "What does your dad do?" Oh...snap. Ummm.....yeah. I just said, 'That's kind of a difficult question to answer." I'm sure I must have either paled or blushed. I haven't gotten the opportunity to talk to anyone my age about that since...well, never. I'm shy, so it's really hard, and I've been trying to push away all of the emotions since then. Was my response a bad one? I don't want to endanger a friendship that just started.

 

[havi]

I tend to put my foot in my mouth before I think..so Im not answering with the first thing that came to mind.


Im only 25, but Ive learned this the hard way. If shes not okay with whatever your situation is then your better off without her. Life is to short to make your moves around other people. Do what you think is best and live it how YOU want. Not how you think someone else will judge you.



ETA: If you need someone to talk to youre more than welcome to PM me or email me. I know how it is when you need to talk with someone.

 

[faykokoWV]

I'm sorry, I don't know your background, but I'm not sure I understand what the problems was.

Is your dad not in the picture? Is he out of work (lots of peopel are right now so nothing to be ashamed of)

 

[kargo]

Quote:
No. He passed away in January.

 

[havi]

Im sorry to hear that.

Could you just explain to her that your father has passed and ask if she leaves it at that.(that is if your not ready to talk about it.) Tell her you didnt mean to be rude, but you were caught off guard by the question.

 

[faykokoWV]

oh, I'm so sorry. A friend of mines daughter is dealing with this now. she is 16 and her father commited suicide in May.


It has been my experience that in order to become friends we must share a little of our selves and risk being vunerable.

I agree with Havi, if your new friends aren't understanding, they may not be the type of people you want as friends anyway.

 

[chickenlittle32]

I am so sorry to hear about that.

I know how hard it is to talk about a parent that has passed...I still have trouble. If you need to talk or vent...I am here to listen as well.

 

[chunkydunk]

I also know how you feel. I lost my sister when she was nine and I lost my mother just a couple of years later.If you need someone to talk to look at your counselor in school as a alternative.Thats also what they are there for. And if your new friend scant handle what youve been through keep shopping. A true friend is something very dificult to find. but once you find them youll have them for life. Good Luck

 

[PotterWatch]

I am sorry to hear about your father. I'm sure that your new friend will understand. As havi said, I would just tell her in a way you feel comfortable with and let her know you were just caught off-guard before. I can't imagine it would endanger your friendship. You never know, perhaps she has lost someone important to her and will be very understanding.

 

[TammyTX]

I'm very sorry.

My half-sister lost her mother when she was 17, but her mother had fought cancer from the time my sister was 12 so it was a very hard 5 years for her.

I'm not sure how old you are but if I could go back and tell my sister anything, it would be for her not to define her life by her mother's illness and death.

My sister moped around for years afterwards and seemed to be emotionally stuck at 17. I think now at nearly 30 she is finally growing up. But she wasted so many years feeling like a victim.

If you have not already done so, get into counseling. It might feel like you don't really need it but it does help. Whatever your circumstances are it feels good to have someone listen to you and give you feedback. If are are in counseling now, then stick to it.