ok soo i blew up!

Discussion in 'Managing Your Flock' started by TreyClark281, May 18, 2008.

  1. TreyClark281

    TreyClark281 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Apr 9, 2007
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    i was riding around on these trails next to my neighborhood looking at houses that i could never afford and then i went home and started to wash off the driveway just because and i put my bike in the garage and i went inside for like 30 mins to eat and take a shower and when i get out of the shower and my mom said that my bike was missing and so i climbed on my brother's peice of *(&% bike and went around seeing if i could catch anyone and i finally gave up after 20 mins and then i go home. i went to the backyard where my mom was sitting and told her to forget about it. and then she calmly tells me that my brother took my bike (WITH OUT PREMISION) out insted of his slow peice of (&#@ that he clams is waaaayyy better than mine that ive had for like 5 years. his OTHER TWWWWOOOO bikes are at "a friends house" along with my dads $450 bike that has a flat tire that will cost about 20+++ dollars to fix. so i start yelling at my mom for never punishing him and that he never paid me back for the 40 dollar crank ( gear thing on bike where you peddle) that i bought for he about 3 years ago out of caringness and he stole more money from me telling me that he'll pay me back!
    he has had alot of my stuff stolen by nurmous amounts of friends and he never gets grounded because he just leaves but if i leave my tv computer cell phone and "leaving priviages" taken away!
    i dont understand why they dont enforce it upon him!!!
    he has been to jail 2 times for the same change and ive just been suspend a couple of times. he has never had to pay back ANY of the court fees. he got to stay out longer then he did before. GRR IM ticked! :mad: [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  2. Bren1222

    Bren1222 Out Of The Brooder

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    May 6, 2008
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    I am a mom to two children so I am going to be honest here.

    Maybe they are harder on you because they don't want you to end up like you brother who has been in jail two times. Maybe they see a wonderful future in you and don't want you to waste your life away. Maybe your brother is beyond their help but you are not!

    I realize that getting suspended (from school I assume) isn't as bad as being in jail but, if my child would get suspended from school they wouldn't be seeing the light of day in a long time let alone riding around on a motorcylce. That motorcyle would be sold along with all driving rights. If they aren't responsible enough to worry about school and act correctly in school and to peers then they are not responsible enough to have extra rights.

    You say you were driving around looking at houses you could never afford....how do you know that? If you stay in school, and work hard the sky is the limit. What I can not stand is children thinking they will never or reach dreams that are within their reach. You can't complain when you don't work hard enough to acheive them. Getting suspended from school is not a way to accomplish your dreams!

    I don't think you would like living in my home. My children have chores, they are taught at a very young age to respect elders, peers, and this includes teachers. They are expected to follow the rules of our home. If not there are consequences such as no TV, no friends over, no phone, no computer, etc. If there is something they don't agree with they are allow to make their case but not by yelling at us, not by throwing a fit but by calmly sitting down and talking to us. We discuss it as a family and come to a conclusion. Sometimes in their favor but sometimes not.

    We also reward for doing extra things and praise our children everyday. We are big on hugs, kisses and "I love yous!" We treat our children with respect and expect the same in return.

    Stop complaining on rules in your home and follow them. Your parents are trying to show you the right way in life. It may not seem fair now but you will thank them and love them even more in the future for being tough but loving. Stop getting suspended and stay in school and follow the rules!

    Sorry to be so honest!
     
  3. redhead83402

    redhead83402 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Apr 9, 2008
    Idaho
    AMEN ~ Bren1222 ~ you put it very very well ~

    TreyClark281~ I am also a mother to 5, and I have to be honest as well ~ I agree with bren ~ I know it's really hard to hear sometimes, especially when you are a teenager ~ I know that will probably make you more angry, but please at least let me explain myself.

    When you are in your teenage years ( and I mean ANYONE in their teens) the hormones in your body are over=producing sometimes, and underproducing sometimes ~ this leads to what everyone calls *rollercoaster emotions*. It's your bodies way of learning how to regulate itself, so that you can become a mature, productive human. It's also a challenge, because never before, and usually not so much after will you ever have such extreme fluctuations in your hormonal make-up. Why am I bothering to tell you this?

    Because sometimes you have to sit back, take a breather, and realize what's going on. And then when you have calmed down to think things over more rationally and MATURELY, you can realize, that, just as Bren said, your mom loves you, and wants the best for you.

    Our house is run the same way that Bren's house is run, and I don't know how close of a realtionship you have with your mom, but I am willing to bet that if you approached her CALMLY & MATURELY about your feelings, & REMAIN CALM THROUGHOUT, she would probably be very willing to talk to you about what is going on. Try to put yourself in her situation, and think about how you would feel if your child came up to you demanding & rude in your face, telling you what an awful mom you were, and how unfair you were.
    I can guarantee you, you wouldn't feel much like talking about it, that's for sure.
    Also, try to remember that every child is different, and so you can't use the same things an all the kids ~ each child needs to be dealt with in the way that teaches that particular child best. How your mom deals with you is different because you are different from your brother. It sounds like that's a really good thing, too. Be grateful you are different from him. Be thankful for parents who are trying to do their best by you, nad love your mom.

    I bet she loves you with every thing she has, and wishes that things could have been different for your brother, and is now trying her best to do differently with you, so that you don't end up like him.

    I agree that there are some problems there, but the only way to really work through them is to talk to your mom with an open heart, willing to LISTEN, not just talk, and then wait for her to stop talking before you start talking again. LISTENING with LOVE is the key, and I hope that you can find that key, and open your heart. Let go of your anger, because that won't solve anything.

    I hope this helps you ~ you sound like you have the potential to become happier, and lead a better life than your brother. Let yourself rise above situations that fill you with vengence ~ instead, try to find the happy things in your life, and focus on that.
    ~Red
     
  4. Josie

    Josie Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jan 3, 2008
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    I grew up in a similar situation as you TreyClark281, as I am sure a lot of other people have. I felt it was very unfair, I was the "good" kid with the grades and was always being punished, while my sibling was breaking federal laws without any punishment.

    I would suggest that you let it go and just put up with it for now. It doesn't last forever, but your brother is going to have to deal with his problems for the rest of his life. I would never ever want to switch places with my brother and all the trouble a permissive childhood has brought him.

    Take your lumps, but never be jealous of your brother, you are the lucky one.
     
  5. kstaven

    kstaven Overrun With Chickens Premium Member

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    Jan 26, 2007
    BC, Washington Border
    I agree with Josie and grew up in a very similar situation. 25 years later my step brothers life is still a mess. I envied his perceived freedom too. It sounds like your ten times the person your brother is and you should be proud of that.
     

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