1. Come check out hundreds of awesome coop pages (and a few that need suggestions) in our 2018 Coop Rating Project!

Ok this is fueled by cold meds and no sleep but i've been thinking

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by HeatherLynn, Jan 26, 2011.

  1. HeatherLynn

    HeatherLynn Songster

    May 11, 2009
    Kentucky, Cecilia
    I am frustrated with my life. My husband keeps asking which part. Ummm pretty much all of it. Now that could be because a virus has ruled my family for 2 weeks and I am close to insane but there could be something to my frustration. maybe Anyway here is where we sit. I have a house. I don't live in it because its in the city and I wanted to be where the kids could go play and me not have to worry and our neighborhood no longer offered that option. Well that and nosy neighbors called the cops about unsupervised children every time they went out to play. Did not matter that I was sitting in a chair watching them. Nope they just kept calling. So we did a ton of painting, finished up some renovating, and put the house up for sale. Then we moved into my parents farmhouse. ( yes potentially I am insane) We settled down to enjoying farm life and praying the house would sell so we could build. I then had our fourth child a bit early and we bought a van I now hate so we would all fit in one car. I hate the van as much for itself and for the fact I again have a payment. I want my paid off Jeep back.

    Ok so I think I want to just sell the stupid van. My dads retiring and he offered to sell me his buick for 1k. Well no payments again but we still would not all fit unless hubby was at work. bah but I am going to do it anyway. The house is still up for sale. Our real estate agent is not great but its improving slowly finally. Sometimes I think we should just move back and give up this dream.

    I would like a part time job except I even bring it up and I get lectures from my father that I am deserting my children. I just finished my bachelors in accounting degree so sitting here at home with the kiddies not using it at all. Loverly.

    I just want to change stuff. I am not even sure if the changes are right but it feels like if I do nothing it will just slowly get more and more suffocating and frustrating. For the first time in my life I really want stuff. I want a home that fits us and is our own. I also would like a home where the neighbors are too far away to be nosy. I want a little job. I want a barn like some women want jewelery. I want a truck. I don't care if I have to carry a milk crate around with me so I can get in it. I want one. I am not talking about getting all materialistic really. I think I am just tired of the nice little rut we are in and I am looking for anything and everything to change it. Things are not bad, they are just not satisfying. ( I am not looking for stuff to satisfy me, just our path in life is not satisfying. I know we are not yet on the right path, Driving me nuts) I pray for the wants to go away or I pray for my wants. I pray a ton for the right path for us. I have been praying about a house near my parents and a part time job for forever it seems.

    Bah I am just talking myself in circles tonight it seems. Maybe more cold meds and some sleep soon I hope. Maybe i can dream some answers. btw I really am not whining. I am tossing my thoughts against a blackboard and seeing if they go splat. haha
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2011

  2. rarely bored

    rarely bored Songster

    Jan 22, 2011
    Central California
    Sometimes life is a drag... especially when the kids are young and the dreams look so far away. In my life, I've had good years and bad years, but I've learned to savor the small good things, when the big things can't be seen. My simple advice, is to wait two weeks and relook at your situation. Maybe half your frustration is the virus or those horrid meds, and doing something, just to do something may be the worse thing you can do. If that makes sense.
    Best Wishes!!! [​IMG]
  3. HeatherLynn

    HeatherLynn Songster

    May 11, 2009
    Kentucky, Cecilia
    My husband wants to put a ban on me thinking when under the influence of cold meds.
  4. Chicken.Lytle

    Chicken.Lytle Songster

    Oct 19, 2010
    Montgomery County, TX

    Accounting degree? Maybe you can do tax returns for people or part time bookkeeping from home for area businesses.
  5. magoochie

    magoochie Songster

    Dec 26, 2010
    Grantsburg, WI
    First of all, it sounds like you need some YOU time! Time to relax, read, take a long drive without the kids, parents, husband etc. Take a day just for you. Maybe a mini vacation. A weekend with girlfriends at the casino or eating pie and watching movies, laughing, wine etc.

    Sounds like you are overwhelmed with everything. You are in a stressful situation. Believe me, i understand, we just sold our house and i was a wreck!

    However, my husband and I just went through the "simplify your life" thing. We moved from the cities, just sold the house on short sale just to get out of it and away from all the neighbors etc. We found a place on Contract for Deed on 40 acres an hour and a half north of our old place. We bought a seasonal cabin that is semi-finished, and are slowing finishing it the way we want. We ended up about 15 miles from my parents cabin. Our house payment is cut in half! We wouldnt change a thing. It was a little tough to leave all the conveniences of the other place, but it is sooooo worth it!

    Yeah the short sale affected our credit a bit, so what. Can you or are you willing to sell on a short sale? maybe the house will move faster? Also, look into a "contract for deed" property or a "rent to own" Maybe just try to get outta your parents place. Less people in the house should be less stressful.

    Decide what you want to do with your career and family life. Your parents and others will always have an opinion, whether it is positive or negative. But it is your life, and you need to do what is best for you and your family. Making a some extra money is always a good thing. Especially if you spent all that time and money going to school.

    Sorry you are so stressed out. It will pass. But you really need to take some time for YOU first and foremost.
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2011
  6. vebyrd36

    vebyrd36 Songster

    Nov 28, 2010
    New Ringgold Pa
    Quote:Oh I know how you feel. I was in your spot 10 years ago. I would say you need some me time. You could work as an accountant online for a company. The most important thing is do not give up on your dream!!![​IMG]
  7. SillyChicken

    SillyChicken Crowing

    Jan 12, 2010
    deserting your children my a**!! I'm sorry..... who's in control of your life?

    Have you considered running an accounting business out of your home? You could be doing something, and still be around for the kiddies.

    Also, you definatly need to make some ME time for yourself, a hobby, scheduled alone time.. something.

    Everyone goes through that, (I think more so when you have kids) I decided fairly recently that I was going to start doing some things just for me! Take music for example.... I have certain music I like, but never got to listen to cause my DH likes what he does... I'm so sick of hearing the same old 60's era music I could puke! So I started buying what I like, and playing it, sometime's really loud and my DH now had to just deal with it!!! I've even gone to see the band twice in the last year, this last time was a 6 hr one way road trip, overnight, met the band, got autographs...the whole shah-bang - by myself! I NEVER had a better time! You need some of that Shah-bang stuff in your life!!! [​IMG]

  8. Could you do books from home? With four kids that would be hard, really hard. But it would kill off the whole "abandoning your children" line of crap...

    You're the accountant, you would know what's best financially way more than I would... even if I had all your numbers in hand. If you think getting rid of the van is the smart thing, I'd do it. I very much appreciate not having a car payment myself. It's just added stress. But not being able to go anywhere as a family... that'd be hard on us too. You'll have to weigh that one.

    If you can handle the stress, I'd stay put. Moving is stressful, on top of moving into a neighborhood you already know you don't want to live in. But if the stress out there is too much, well you have to weigh it and choose the lesser evil so to speak. But remember if you move back you're just going to have to pack everything and move again once it sells, and then pack everything and move again once your built house is done. That's a LOT of moving, and I HATE moving... but if you don't mind it/everything already packed anyways... *shrug*

    [​IMG] For you... [​IMG] for the totally unsupportive pop... and a [​IMG] for a fast and full price sale of your home.
  9. HeatherLynn

    HeatherLynn Songster

    May 11, 2009
    Kentucky, Cecilia
    I am looking into book keeping from home. I love being with the kids and we don't need a full 2nd income but it would be nice to have the extra so i don't have to freak everytime we need new tires. ya know. I think i am just exhausted. We can't go anywhere any time soon but anniversary is coming up and he promised me 2 full days and a night away from home. I'm going to cling to that and my cold meds right now.
  10. ranchhand

    ranchhand Rest in Peace 1956-2011

    Aug 25, 2008
    Gosh, I wish I had your life, wanna trade? [​IMG]

    I'd be willing to bet you could set up a home business, and visit clients frequently so you'd get out more. I suspect you need some time out in the world! It does not mean you are neglecting your kids.

BackYard Chickens is proudly sponsored by