one of my poems. (i added another one, guys!)

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Stormhorse23, Feb 9, 2008.

  1. Stormhorse23

    Stormhorse23 Songster

    Aug 22, 2007
    ive been writing poetry since i was really little. of course when i was little it was about MUCH different things. so heres a little more recent one. it isnt as good as most of them, but im the only one that has seen the other ones because the topics are not something id put on the internet! what do you think? it doesnt have a name, yet. any suggestions? read it slowly and it makes a little more sense!

    Open my eyes to yet another morning,

    Let your breathing beside me be the warning,

    Of pain to come and joys of the past,

    Even though we act as one, our heartbeats contrast

    Out of rhythm again, shock me back to the living,

    Why are their cold stares so unforgiving?

    Night falls once more, I’m in the dark again

    Its time to reflect on where I’m going, where I’ve been

    So many secrets locked in departed years,

    Brought back to life by millions of tears

    Its seems in this life, I am but a pawn

    Yet out of this darkness, comes forth a new dawn
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2008
  2. Stormhorse23

    Stormhorse23 Songster

    Aug 22, 2007
  3. Wildsky

    Wildsky Wild Egg!

    Oct 13, 2007
    That is kinda sad.... [​IMG]
  4. Stormhorse23

    Stormhorse23 Songster

    Aug 22, 2007
    yeah but nothing compared to the others! id have to make a website and post the link here cause id get kicked off. any ideas for a name?
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2008
  5. PurpleChicken

    PurpleChicken Tolerated.....Mostly

    Apr 6, 2007
    Storm I like you but you're a dark kid. Life is a wonderful and amazing
    thing, and it is your's for the taking.
  6. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

    Dec 25, 2007
    Chaparral, New Mexico
    Rhythm of a Pawn
  7. Stormhorse23

    Stormhorse23 Songster

    Aug 22, 2007
    Heres another one. purplechicken, i know and i do enjoy some moments. when im upset, i just come here! and writer of words, i like that.

    Tear Me Down
    Consumed by darkness, everything is black,
    Why couldnt i see that you werent coming back?
    Words echo in my head, that i want to forget,
    Nightmares that wake me up dripping in a cold sweat,
    I can't remember them, these reasons I cry,
    Yearning to explain, yet not wanting to lie.
    I'm stuck biting my toungue, until I taste blood again.
    Not wanting to say something wrong, to once again feel pain.
    With shaking hands, I carve your name into my bedroom wall,
    Thinking about all those times you said you'd never let me fall.
    So again I'm standing up alone, terrified to fail.
    Grasping the air around me, all to no avail.
    Until you came to save me, I was scared with no way out.
    Why can't you hear me calling you, no matter how loud I shout?
    You just held my eyes open, and forced me to see,
    Why is is ok to tear me down, but you just won't set me free?
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2008
  8. cockadoodlemom

    cockadoodlemom Songster

    Feb 25, 2007
    You have a talent for writing but I agree with PC about being dark and Wildsky about sad. [​IMG]
  9. ruth

    ruth Life is a Journey

    Jul 8, 2007
    Woodville, MS
    StormHorse - you have a great gift and talent. If most of your poems are of darkness and pain try writing some about light and joy. See what your gift produces if you force it in the opposite area.

    My brother is a gifted (and published) poet however he is also a very clinically depressed/suicidal/alcoholic/drug addict. He is comfortable with the dark and spends all of his time in the dark and lonely places of his mind. He can't seem to find the light or stay there. To my knowledge he has never written anything uplifting. I don't want to see you in the place where he is when you are in your 40s. Please try to use your God given gifts and talent and life to create beauty and joy for yourself and those around you.
  10. Stormhorse23

    Stormhorse23 Songster

    Aug 22, 2007
    Quote:maybe one about chickens! no, then it would end up being about the one that died. i dont think i even know how.

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