Only Children

[Nupine]

I just wanted to ask all you only children [whether you are currently an only child, or grew up as one], how you liked it. Did or do you ever wish you had siblings? Mixes emotions? I am technically not an only child. I was adopted and have several half siblings from my birth dad whom I almost never see. My adopted parents each have one child from earlier in life. My dad almost never sees his daughter [she was adopted by her step-dad when she was 6] and my mom does have a great relationship with her son [it was broken off for years because of his evil now ex-wife, but he is now remarried for the 4th time to a wonderful woman] although he now lives across the country. I also have two adopted sisters who are in their early twenties. One really screwed up her life [like REALLY] and haven't seen her in years. The other lives close by and I see her a few times a week, but she has a real screw loose and we don't have a thing in common. I am in high school, and have been the only child in the home for almost 5 years. This is a far cry from 7 years ago when we lived in a huge house in the suburbs of Detroit. My parents plan was to adopt at least 10-12 children, plus foster more. I now am in only child living in rural Ohio [we always said we hated Ohio] on a hobby farm in the middle of nowhere [horses, dairy goats, sheep, donkey, chickens, etc.] in a tiny house. It is amazing how life can change so much in 7 years. I have to say in general I enjoy being an only child. Not meaning to sound selfish, but I can do more of the things I want to do. No fighting over where to eat, or whose room is whose, and I can do more extra-curricular activities than many. I am spoiled rotten by my parents, but I am a respectable, rather humble, young person. It really doesn't affect me much. I don't have to share animals or anything like that either. On the downside, I am home schooled. This is my own choice, I could choose to go to school right now if that is what I wanted. Have been for 3 years. I enjoy it, and most of my friends are as well. But it means I am with my parents [well, my mom mostly, my dad still works in Michigan, and comes down here for Friday-Sunday]. School only takes a few hours per day, so it gets pretty boring here. I can't drive yet, so I am stuck here a lot. Sometimes I do wish I had siblings to play with. My best friend has 8 siblings still in the home, and it is so disorderly and crazy there, and I fit in very well.

I am not sure if I would like the lack of privacy [people walking in on you when you are in the bathroom, barging into your room and using your stuff] though, or lack of quietness. I do keep busy though, I am extremely involved in 4-H, church, and I play soccer. So I have mixed feelings about being an only child, and there are times I wish I had a younger sibling, but in general I like it. I will probably like it more once I get my driver's license next December, so I will be able to see friends more. So if you are/was an only child, did you like it or wish you had siblings? And if you were not an only child do/did you ever wish you were?
Ashlyn

 

[Buff Hooligans]

Quote:
Yes, sibling relationships are HIGHLY overrated. The eldest is always treasured, the 3rd and 4th after that are just
afterthoughts that get lost in the scheme of things.

 

[Buff Hooligans]

oops, double post.

 

[A1 Steak Sauce]

I'm an only, I probably would've bit the heads off of any siblings I had lol. At times I wished I'd had a younger brother, but then I'd sit down and think about it and decided that it was probably better I didn't lol. So yeah, for the most part I was happy to be an only.

 

[HEChicken]

Quote:
Wow, that is so cynical! I know of multiple people who have 4-6 kids and every one of those kids was wanted, planned for and treasured. I myself am the eldest of a large family and each new baby was welcomed and adored.

In answer to the OP's question, I'm glad I wasn't an only child - the sibling relationship is the longest lasting of all relationships (in the normal scheme of things, your parents die before you do, you die before your children and you don't meet your spouse until you're an adult). Siblings are the only people who are there all of our lives, and if you can have a good relationship with a sibling, it is a lifelong bond. It sounds like you've been able to experience both - having older siblings and being an only child for awhile.

 

[Nupine]

Quote:
Yes, sibling relationships are HIGHLY overrated. The eldest is always treasured, the 3rd and 4th after that are just detritus.

That is so interesting. It was the complete opposite in my family, when I had two older sisters in the home. I was the treasured youngest, and very spoiled. The middle daughter was somewhat ignored, but she seemed to not want to be part of the family at all, spending all of her time in her room alone. The eldest daughter always wanted attention, but did things that got her into trouble to get attention. She still does this on a daily basis, such as saying she has a different ailment, injury, or disease almost everyday. This only got her less attention. I think the reason I received the most attention was that I was a precious, innocent newborn when I was adopted, but my sisters were 12 and 8 when they were adopted and had some problems, so of which we could not fix. I may also be treasured since I have not yet [and don't have intentions] made the mistakes they made. I do know that typically the middle child is most ignored, and that was the case in our home.
Ashlyn

 

[Buff Hooligans]

Quote:
Quote:
Yes, it is cynical, I admit it. But that's how I felt growing up. I guess my folks were just a bit overwhelmed.
I admire parents who can treat each child as being as important and worthy as the next.

 

[ZooNana]

I'm an only, and I have 7 children

I often ask my mother what the heck I did by myself all those years. My kids keep each other busy and until they reached the late teen years, were all best of friends.

I have to say I really didn't like being an only and that's why I had so many of my own. And no Buff Hooligans, the 3rd 4th etc were not afterthoughts. My kids are all treasured and I can't imagine having had any less, matter of fact I wouldn't have minded having more, but the last one is a handful LOL!

 

[arabookworm]

when I was little I wished they didn't exist, but now that I'm older it is a lot better, like built in friends that tend to drive you insane on a regular basis.

 

[cassie]

I was essentially an only. My brother came along shortly before I was in college so I was out of the house when he was growing up. I liked being an only. We lived in a rural area and there were no children nearby so I had no playmates. I learned early on how to amuse myself. It is a skill I am very glad to have developed. However, I have always been an introvert. Life may have been more difficult for me if I were an extrovert.

The best cure for being lonely and bored is a hobby. Write. Take up needlework or painting. Walk. Learn to refinish furniture. Read. Grow orchids. Stencil. Sew. Do jigsaw or crossword puzzles. Something.