I posted this on another forum, but thought I'd add it here. I didn't put up Bill's flag. I have no idea where it is, probably storage. He never got the flag holder up on this house. He tried before 4th of July, but when I told him he should buy it early he didn't listen. He knew I was always right! Darn it! SSA sent me to a Mental Health test today of all days. I was really upset that they picked today, but turned out OK. My 3rd daughter came out and went with me for the appointment. I was going to drop my 14 yr old off to his dad afterwards, but she lives that direction and did it for me. Well we get there and I had wanted to go to the Veteran's Day Parade. Bill was trying to get a new bike and was going to be an escort when our fallin soldiers were returned. This would have been his first year to rige in the parade. Wanted to see it, didn't want to see it. So guess where the parade began. Right across the street from this Doctor! They were lining up when we got there. Flags were being put on all the old classic cars, mounted police were waiting. I figured we weren't going to see anything. Just as we left the office the parade started. Kayla wasn't budging. Grandpa's flag was there and she wasn't going to leave. My daughter offered to drive my son for me, her daughter was going to stay, but then changed her mind, so Makayla and I found a spot on the curb and sat down. It wasn't Macy's, but it was a nice little parade and Kayla enjoyed it. She did ask why all those people had grandpa's flags. LOL Towards the end I heard the bikes coming, I was so excited to see them. The first couple I was happy to see, but as more came through I started getting dizzy and sick to my stomach. I closed my eyes and I could feel the wind and it reminded me of all the rides we went on. Unless I finally learn to ride I'll never feel that again. By the time the last few cane through I was about to lose it. I asked Makayla if she was ready. Yeah right! Mounted Police were last and she saw them coming. As soon as it was over we headed for the car and once I clicked the seatbelt it was over. Bawled my eyes out. I wanted to get home so I could get ready to go to the cemetery and finally made it. Wiped down my car, because Bill would have had a fit if I should up with a dirty car. He wouldn't care if his stinkin candy wrappers were all over the inside, but Heaven forbid it didn't shine. Did all that even though I got the car AFTER he died. I had picked up more small flags the other day so I had them to take, but when my daughter found out I had them, she put one on her car, Kayla took one and my grand daughter Khamaria took one. I put the other on my car. Kayla and I stopped at a flower shop around the corner from us. I didn't even realize what it was till a month ago. The owner tried to help my and when she found out what it was for pulled out a really pretty arrangement with red roses and Casa Blanca lilies. Same flowers Bill bought me them most often. Then she dropped the price down to 10 bucks so ended up the clincher. LOL Our next stop was the store we bought the flags from before. There's a big sign on the door that says that Retired and Active Duty Service Members get X% discounts. I like them. So we go in and I start picking up a few flags for my stockpile (we usually share them anyway at the cemetery) and then I thought about it and not much money, but I bought 20 of them just in case someone needed one. I actually thought they may have put them out there anyway, but they don't, so glad I picked them up. Kayla decided Grandpa need a bigger flag, so we got that for her to take for him. The guy at the register remembered us and was very nice. Then I told him they should offer discounts to Vets and their Survivors. He looked at me and said "You're right. We do as of now!", so it was like going to the Exchange and not paying tax! Bill would have been happy about that. As usual I took the wrong darn freeway, so my trip there was 2 1/2 hrs and the trip back was 3 1/2. Darn GPS! I thought there would be a lot more people, but I guess there had been a lot before we got there. It was so nice to see more flowers this time. There were also 2 new sections! Bill's filled in just weeks after he was buried and now they have 2 more going. It was heartbreaking. We went to where I knew he was, but I could not find him. Looked up and down and didn't see his marker. I started to panic and then spotted it. Earlier my daughter had told me that daughter #2 had been in Sacramento that morning, so had expected to see her. We started placing the cone and Kayla went ot put the flag in and noticed candy. She was so upset that there was candy on Grandpa, but I told her to look at what it was. She did and said "heyyyyyy, How did that get there?" I told her Auntie Veronica had been there before us. When ever my daughter has to be out that direction , she stops and shares a pack of peanut butter cups with him. Bill's step kids really love(d) that man. We went back to the car, got the 2 chairs out I brought and sat with Bill. Then Kayla noticed that some people didn't have flowers....hmmmmm,,,,,,,,,Flag time! I sat and took stickers off the sticks and Kayla did her thing and gave a flag to everyone that showed up in Grandpa's section. She did her job today. We left when the flags ran out. It was the shortest stay I have had since the first two and the sun was still going down. Five or 6 other cars were pulling in as we were driving out and lots more had shown up while we were trying to get out. It's always so easy to get out of that place any other time, but not today. I even had to pull over and cry for a while. Just a few tears while I was there with Bill, but leaving him there is so hard. Our next stop was Travis AFB where Kayla wanted to wait to eat, so we ordered and sat down and she put away more food than she has in 4 months. It was good to see. We walked over to go to the Exchange (my main reason for going), but since it was Veteran's Day they were closing! Bummer! Guess that was another of my DUH moments thinking it would be open even though it was THEIR holiday. Got home and took the new puppy out, Poor thing. I didn't think I'd be gone that long. Took out the trash. Kayla said she wasn't tired yet, but she passed out. I'm alone. I looked at the BBQ this morning before I left. Couldn't figure out what it was about it that I kept staring. Bill's flag would have been waving and we would have BBQ'd and made ice cream. Instead it was Popeye's Chicken on base. It's almost tomorrow and 4 months with my hearsts gone. I had some moments, but all in all, not a horrible day I guess. OH and on that long drive home I had to find a local radio station and they kept playing all his favorites and the songs that have always made me think of him, so in a way he did spend the holidy with me. -------------------- 7/12/10 Bill I'm planting more Sweet Williams for you. I'll smell them for you. You've always been more than my soulmate. You were my heartbeat.