Parents that work full time outside the home. How do you do it? rant

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Rhett&SarahsMom, Apr 14, 2009.

  1. Rhett&SarahsMom

    Rhett&SarahsMom Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 8, 2008
    I am grateful to have the part time job I am going to be starting in a few weeks. The hours are perfect. I get to drop off and pick up my daughter at school still. I dont work days the kids are off and my last day of work is her last day of school. I have the summer off and go back come fall. I am lucky.
    But. I want more.

    I want to go back to work full time.

    There are jobs out there. I can easily get one even with the amount of people looking for the same. But, here's the problem. I cant find after school care for my daughter that
    A) is open past 4:30
    B) will pick her up from the school
    C) I trust

    Never mind summer care!

    After reading about poor Sandra Cantu in CA and that monster "mom" that is now under arrest for her murder. I am even more wary and untrusting of people than I was previously. Which is pretty bad since my trust level is next to 0 as it is.

    I dont "need" to go back to work full time. But I want to. I miss working and earning a decent paycheck. But the thought of leaving my kid with someone outside of the school. Which I am also not keen on to tell ya the truth. Makes me ill.

    My dh and I have discussed with my mom us putting the house we have up on the market.. or even just walking away from it completely and letting Wells Fargo have it. And moving in with her.
    She could use the help around the house. And the money from my dh and I would be more than a little help to her.(she is retired and takes care of her dh who had a stroke 4 years ago) Plus they are closer to my dh's work so his commute would not only be shorter. But cheaper.
    The school system is better. The town as a whole is safer. The families in the neighborhood have been there for nearly 50 years. I am the only one that moved so far away.
    If it were just my dh and I it wouldnt be a issue. But I want my kid to be safe. I dont want her education to suffer. And I need to WORK! Mommy has needs and wants!!!

    If I could find the care I need for her here I would be so thrilled. But I just havent seen it.
     
  2. Four Acre Bliss

    Four Acre Bliss Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jan 22, 2009
    Virginia
    So sell your house and move in with your mom, it sounds like nothing but benefit for everyone. Nice that you have that option!
     
  3. chiknhut

    chiknhut Chillin' With My Peeps

    Go back and read your post like someone else posted it. What would you tell them? Sounds like you know the answer. Only you and your DH know what is in the best interest of your family. Good luck with your decision.
     
  4. briteday

    briteday Chillin' With My Peeps

    Dec 16, 2008
    Northern NV
    A few things my pediatrician told me when my daughter was an infant...1) no one will ever take care of her the way that you do as a mother, 2) sometimes children cry and you can't always make it better so get used to it now, 3) sometimes motherhood sucks but realistically there's not much you can do besides put one foot in front of the other each day and make it as good as you can, 4) life is not a rehearsal, you only get to do it once and so does your child...they will never be 4 years old or ten years old, or ... again, so enjoy the journey

    Since your chances of selling the house right now are slim and none you may have to put Mommy's wants and needs behind the wants and needs of your child. Giving your house back to the bank is asking for more heartache, unless you really WANT to live with your mom for the next 7-10 years to re-establish your credit. And does your mom want a child back in the house...all the energy and attention that's required from any adult that lives with them?

    They are children for such a short period of time. I worked nights while my daughter was small (husband worked days so no daycare involved) and found a flexible fulltime job when she started school. When she was in 4th grade I went back to part time work because it was impossible to be good at everything...the job, mom, wife, household manager. I had exceded all of my career expectations and was lucky to work for some great and family-friendly employers when I did work full time. So part time works for us at the moment. My daughter is now 17 and will be in college full time soon, but still living at home for at least a few years. So I don't see an end to the "neediness" for another few years. And after 17 years I am seriously looking forward to being an empty nester. I love her to pieces, always give her my time and attention...but she's ready to fly and I can't wait until the economy allows her to do so.

    Try to be more realistic about expectations and you will be less likely to be disappointed.

    And honestly, for those with more than one child...I don't know how you do it.
     
  5. Fancie

    Fancie Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Oct 31, 2008
    Illinois
    It sucks... Me and my hubby work full time in shifts... he works first I work second.... and I am always exsusted!!!!
     
  6. horsejody

    horsejody Squeaky Wheel

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    Feb 11, 2008
    Waterloo, Nebraska
    I raised 2 kids while DH and I both had full time jobs. You just learn to never rest and go without.
     
  7. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    I was lucky enough to have found a teacher at my son's school to take him home with her after school was out and watch him til I could pick him up. That was a God send for me. I was a single parent, which made it even more difficult - there was no choice but full time work.
     
  8. StrawberryHouseMouse

    StrawberryHouseMouse Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 23, 2009
    Cleveland, Tennessee
    What does DH stand for? o.o
     
  9. horsejody

    horsejody Squeaky Wheel

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    Feb 11, 2008
    Waterloo, Nebraska
    Quote:Dear Husband
     
  10. sparkles2307

    sparkles2307 Terd of Hurtles

    My DH and I both work full-time 40 miles from home. The kids go to daycare in the small town that my stepdad grew up in and he and my mom live 4 blcoks from my daycare provider. She is open till 5:00, we get off at 4:30, and its 25 miles from work to daycare, so we rush in the afternoons, but we make it. #1 rides the bus the 2 blocks to school and a classmate's mother gives him a ride back after preschool is over. Its very doable if you interview and build a rapport with people. Lucky me, my daycare lady teaches Sunday school and AWANA to boot so my kids are in a peacful, loving, Godly home all day!
     

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