So... earlier this year I started Raging while driving.. NOT road rage, just pent up frustration type anger that would cause me to get angry at passing vehicles, or just scream at random moments while alone
Until I went off on my husband for a tiny thing, he was ready to walk away from our marriage.
I talked to my doctor after talking to my mother and doing research on peri-menopause, it seems it starts early in my family.
Hers started at 40, I have started at 42, I got some natural supplements such as black cohosh, and had a UTD put in
as the medication would help ease the symptoms of peri-menopause.
Fast forward to this week, I have started to rage again, not while driving but around the house when I get frustrated, its been very stressful the last two weeks with my DH's car dying, and the need to get him another, the new one has proceeded to spew coolant, and last night while driving it from feeding the flock and a friend's herd of horses, the new car a volvo started to have electric issues.
I got it home and put it in park and then it wouldn't start, and it would come out of park. Asking my husband to help, didn't help the problem at all, and finally after reading the owner's manual I got the shift lock to work and get the car out of park and into neutral (according to the manual it will start in N), and the car still wouldn't start.
I felt my husband was doing redundant things, and looking under the hood revealed the coolant had sprayed all over the engine, probably causing the issue.
I tried to hang up a coat on our coat stand, it then wouldn't stand up, I threw it down, and smacked my hand on the wall and just screamed a primal rage type scream.
He then talked about how I have gotten worse over the last week, and spoke of marriage counciling. I said he needs to come to my dr. appt too, so he can understand what the (BLANK) is going on with me.
After his "bombshell" about counciling, I just started to SOB, heart rending sobs, snot flowing, curling up, wanting to die OR take my truck and horses and drive till I ran out of gas, then get the horses and ride off leaving it all behind.. OR packing the horses and riding off to head back to CA. Or just sitting outside all night and hope I freeze to death (its almost 60 today so yeah I know.. wouldn't work)
As my mother put it, my body is turning itself inside out. As Stephanie Miller (a radio comedy/host) says her eggs are turning to dust.
I said to my DH, my eggs are going "Ppppaaaawwww (Fffoooofff)" turning to dust, while by body is saying "You are still of child bearing age!!!!"
I realized this morning I had stopped taking my supplements and need to get more, and that I need a consult from my dr. to see a shrink, and get some help with the mood swings.
I know that what is going on with my body and my mind are extreme. I know now I need help in ways that will require proffessional influence, and that is is not going to be an overnight fix.
I feel there are not a whole lot of support programs either known or online. There are alot of sites that give you clinical signs, and tell you this is what is happening to your body. But there doesn't seem to be a support system for spouses who have to deal with the woman who will at time seem to have a split personality, or possessed by a demon.
I want to share my journey into becoming a "crone" (for those who know wiccanisms) and talk to others here who have so much in common with me, chickens, horses, pets, and well my gender!!!
Carol
Until I went off on my husband for a tiny thing, he was ready to walk away from our marriage.
I talked to my doctor after talking to my mother and doing research on peri-menopause, it seems it starts early in my family.
Hers started at 40, I have started at 42, I got some natural supplements such as black cohosh, and had a UTD put in
as the medication would help ease the symptoms of peri-menopause.
Fast forward to this week, I have started to rage again, not while driving but around the house when I get frustrated, its been very stressful the last two weeks with my DH's car dying, and the need to get him another, the new one has proceeded to spew coolant, and last night while driving it from feeding the flock and a friend's herd of horses, the new car a volvo started to have electric issues.
I got it home and put it in park and then it wouldn't start, and it would come out of park. Asking my husband to help, didn't help the problem at all, and finally after reading the owner's manual I got the shift lock to work and get the car out of park and into neutral (according to the manual it will start in N), and the car still wouldn't start.
I felt my husband was doing redundant things, and looking under the hood revealed the coolant had sprayed all over the engine, probably causing the issue.
I tried to hang up a coat on our coat stand, it then wouldn't stand up, I threw it down, and smacked my hand on the wall and just screamed a primal rage type scream.
He then talked about how I have gotten worse over the last week, and spoke of marriage counciling. I said he needs to come to my dr. appt too, so he can understand what the (BLANK) is going on with me.
After his "bombshell" about counciling, I just started to SOB, heart rending sobs, snot flowing, curling up, wanting to die OR take my truck and horses and drive till I ran out of gas, then get the horses and ride off leaving it all behind.. OR packing the horses and riding off to head back to CA. Or just sitting outside all night and hope I freeze to death (its almost 60 today so yeah I know.. wouldn't work)
As my mother put it, my body is turning itself inside out. As Stephanie Miller (a radio comedy/host) says her eggs are turning to dust.
I said to my DH, my eggs are going "Ppppaaaawwww (Fffoooofff)" turning to dust, while by body is saying "You are still of child bearing age!!!!"
I realized this morning I had stopped taking my supplements and need to get more, and that I need a consult from my dr. to see a shrink, and get some help with the mood swings.
I know that what is going on with my body and my mind are extreme. I know now I need help in ways that will require proffessional influence, and that is is not going to be an overnight fix.
I feel there are not a whole lot of support programs either known or online. There are alot of sites that give you clinical signs, and tell you this is what is happening to your body. But there doesn't seem to be a support system for spouses who have to deal with the woman who will at time seem to have a split personality, or possessed by a demon.
I want to share my journey into becoming a "crone" (for those who know wiccanisms) and talk to others here who have so much in common with me, chickens, horses, pets, and well my gender!!!
Carol
