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Perimenopause, raging, depression and marriage counciling

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by WIChookchick, Nov 22, 2012.

  1. WIChookchick

    WIChookchick Songster

    Aug 25, 2010
    Rural Brooklyn, WI
    So... earlier this year I started Raging while driving.. NOT road rage, just pent up frustration type anger that would cause me to get angry at passing vehicles, or just scream at random moments while alone
    Until I went off on my husband for a tiny thing, he was ready to walk away from our marriage.
    I talked to my doctor after talking to my mother and doing research on peri-menopause, it seems it starts early in my family.
    Hers started at 40, I have started at 42, I got some natural supplements such as black cohosh, and had a UTD put in
    as the medication would help ease the symptoms of peri-menopause.

    Fast forward to this week, I have started to rage again, not while driving but around the house when I get frustrated, its been very stressful the last two weeks with my DH's car dying, and the need to get him another, the new one has proceeded to spew coolant, and last night while driving it from feeding the flock and a friend's herd of horses, the new car a volvo started to have electric issues.
    I got it home and put it in park and then it wouldn't start, and it would come out of park. Asking my husband to help, didn't help the problem at all, and finally after reading the owner's manual I got the shift lock to work and get the car out of park and into neutral (according to the manual it will start in N), and the car still wouldn't start.
    I felt my husband was doing redundant things, and looking under the hood revealed the coolant had sprayed all over the engine, probably causing the issue.
    I tried to hang up a coat on our coat stand, it then wouldn't stand up, I threw it down, and smacked my hand on the wall and just screamed a primal rage type scream.

    He then talked about how I have gotten worse over the last week, and spoke of marriage counciling. I said he needs to come to my dr. appt too, so he can understand what the (BLANK) is going on with me.
    After his "bombshell" about counciling, I just started to SOB, heart rending sobs, snot flowing, curling up, wanting to die OR take my truck and horses and drive till I ran out of gas, then get the horses and ride off leaving it all behind.. OR packing the horses and riding off to head back to CA. Or just sitting outside all night and hope I freeze to death (its almost 60 today so yeah I know.. wouldn't work)
    As my mother put it, my body is turning itself inside out. As Stephanie Miller (a radio comedy/host) says her eggs are turning to dust.
    I said to my DH, my eggs are going "Ppppaaaawwww (Fffoooofff)" turning to dust, while by body is saying "You are still of child bearing age!!!!"
    I realized this morning I had stopped taking my supplements and need to get more, and that I need a consult from my dr. to see a shrink, and get some help with the mood swings.

    I know that what is going on with my body and my mind are extreme. I know now I need help in ways that will require proffessional influence, and that is is not going to be an overnight fix.
    I feel there are not a whole lot of support programs either known or online. There are alot of sites that give you clinical signs, and tell you this is what is happening to your body. But there doesn't seem to be a support system for spouses who have to deal with the woman who will at time seem to have a split personality, or possessed by a demon.
    I want to share my journey into becoming a "crone" (for those who know wiccanisms) and talk to others here who have so much in common with me, chickens, horses, pets, and well my gender!!!

  2. 1muttsfan

    1muttsfan Crowing

    Mar 26, 2011
    Upper Peninsula Michigan
    First of all, [​IMG]

    I told my doctor last year when I went in for my physical that I had become very touchy and - well grumpy would be putting it nicely. I was also unhappy all the time - but that I hadn't actually killed anyone. Yet.

    She put me on an antidepressant and I started taking a clover supplement called Promensil, and a daily stress-formula multivitamin. I no longer feel like killing anyone on most days, and even feel pretty normal most of the time. Just don't give up if what you try at first doesn't work, and try to find a sympathetic doctor that will help you.
  3. HeatherLynn

    HeatherLynn Songster

    May 11, 2009
    Kentucky, Cecilia
    You might also try some alternative therapies that can help while your body is getting all sorted out. I went for emotional accupressure. It has been So helpful I wish I could express it more strongly. Its something i can do anywhere too. I can sit at a stop light and go through 2 rounds just tapping hands and going through affirmations and I feel more in control, more relaxed. Its not a quick fix by any means and it is something you would do each day and sometimes throughout the day just get a handle on things but it doesn't take much time. I do it while sitting and waiting for a child to come out of school, or dance, or scouts, or at stop lights. When my husband is driving I try to take 10 minutes or so to go through the entire cycle instead of just doing hands. I only do hands at school or dance or stoplights because i don't want anyone thinking I have lost my mind.

    Maybe counciling would not be the worst thing in the world. If he says counciling instead of leaving that means he cares for you and wants to find a fix. Maybe going together will help you both get through this change a bit easier and a bit closer. Only focus on the positive. Its an opportunity for closeness. Just keep telling yourself that.
  4. Mattemma

    Mattemma Crowing

    Aug 12, 2009
    Alernative medicine is a great option in addition to conventional medicine,food therapy,and lots and lots of physical exercise. Counseling will help.Your family does need it,because your emotions can affect the mood of the whole house. My mom was quite ther bear for a long time.She chose not to take or do anything.It was a tough time,but now she is good and the home is peaceful.For a long time though I tried my best to avoid her,because she was so mean to me.This will pass. Just got to find ways to make it tolerable for you and the family.
  5. EweSheep

    EweSheep Flock Mistress

    Jan 12, 2007
    Land of Lincoln
    I went thru three years of perimeno and didn't quite get that far. It is frustrating for me to deal with my daughter and hubby which both of them have ADHD/Asperger's issues and memory lapse on my part makes it more harder on me. Now I am in menopause this year, fibromyg. really throws me off a loop sometimes. Frustrations and all that unbalanced frame of mind, I was certain I was losing my mind. I'm 47.

    I agree that counseling would be the BEST thing...it helped alot of us get back on track, understanding each other in the light we didn't see before. And keeping bases with your doctor helps alot too!
  6. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    I have to say that I'm only 40 and been going through a menopause type situation for years, due to a medical condition I have..
    Yep..I'm witchy sometimes...but what I'd to say to you is that you CAN control your temper and words..
    IF you're being nasty to people..don't blame it on hormones...because you can control what you say and do.
    And I would agree..that if you feel you cant control your emotions at all..then you may want to talk to a professional about it..because it may be something more than hormones. Best of luck!
    Also...I'd say your husband needs to get a thicker skin or something...marriage counseling because you got a bit pissy? Sheesh.. :rolleyes:
  7. HeatherLynn

    HeatherLynn Songster

    May 11, 2009
    Kentucky, Cecilia
    Tell him you need a goat. My husband said they were cheaper than therapy and actually they are very calming.

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