prayer warriors (following Jesus Christ, everyone welcome)

[TwoCrows]

That’s understandable! I never wanted to be on meds either but then I tried them and realized I’m much better on them. Now I’ve accepted it’s just how I’m wired and how my brain chemistry works and that I need the meds to help fix/balance the chemicals out. For some people they do fine off the meds and that’s fine too. But for me, I need them. I was doing extremely reckless and dangerous things. Speeding (like REALLY speeding), drinking (never drinking and driving though), spending tons, etc. plus of course the attempt. That was a very impulsive decision. I also would get extremely angry and snap at everybody. I need the meds lol now I am much calmer and under control than I was last year.

And yeah, I get it from both sides. My dad I’m pretty sure has anxiety and maybe a touch of depression but idk. His dad was also an alcoholic and died young. But my mom’s family really has the mental health stuff. She had bipolar we’re pretty sure but never took meds. Also bad depression and anxiety. And alcoholism to self medicate. My grandpa had anxiety and maybe a little OCD. I think my uncle has some of the OCD and/or anxiety too. My aunt had a stint of bad depression and thoughts for a bit. And has anxiety still. Not sure if my other aunts and uncles have anything. But basically, anxiety runs through her whole family. My one cousin and her kids have anxiety too.

So I’m double whammied on anxiety and alcoholism.

Yes it's hard to beat when it's all inherited, the brain chemistry will always be off. And of course a poor environment growing up doesn't help or set us on a good path in life. So we struggle. But I am glad you are better on the meds! If you ever need a shoulder, you can always PM me, we can console each other.

 

[ShrekDawg]

Yes it's hard to beat when it's all inherited, the brain chemistry will always be off. And of course a poor environment growing up doesn't help or set us on a good path in life. So we struggle. But I am glad you are better on the meds! If you ever need a shoulder, you can always PM me, we can console each other.

Yeah definitely hard! And thank you, I appreciate that.

 

[BigBlueHen53]

So very true!
Mine has always been the woman with bleeding issues for 12 years....she thought if only she could "touch" the hem of His garment she would be healed.
It was in my deepest darkness that I realized He's always holding onto me! Even when all I can do is lay and cry Jesus! He has got me and He's got you too @TheDawg !

Amen!

 

[BigBlueHen53]

I'm praying for all the followers of Jesus around the world that we would have ears to hear and eyes to see just how HE is at work and trust HIS way, HIS timing, and not be tossed by the "waves" going on within or around us as we go about bringing HIM glory today!
We serve a MIGHTY GOD, oh so faithful and true!
Lord help us, give us Your strength and Your guidance.
In Jesus' name
amen

Amen, praise God!

 

[BigBlueHen53]

Hard to breathe, can't think, everything looks negative, anxiety off the charts, you wish you were...well you know. It's difficult to shake off, fair days, bad days, you nailed it with the word "prison". You are not alone in this struggle.

1 Corinthians 10:13 KJV
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

Yes, I think we've all been there. But when you're in the midst of it you feel so terribly alone, as if no one has ever felt this way before. The good news is that Jesus knows EXACTLY what we're feeling; He walked this lonely road as well. He was separated from His Father for the first time in eternity, which caused Him to cry out, My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? He suffered the death the wicked will suffer at the end of time, the death we all deserve because we are sinners. But the "way of escape" that He provided is that He overcame that death. Because He was sinless He did not remain in the grave but He has eternal life and victory over death forever. And He can give us that victory, that eternal life - that victory over sin and death. We have only to ask for it and ACCEPT it by faith in Him. So thank Him for it and believe you have it. It is yours, not because you FEEL you do, but because He who cannot lie says so.

 

[BigBlueHen53]

I do the exact same thing. Huge overthinker. We are very similar apparently. I do need to work on all that though. Do you overanalyze and/or dwell on the past? Cause I do. And beat myself up.

Discouragement is one of Satan's most effective tools. When Peter kept his eyes on Jesus, he walked on water. But when he "saw that the waves were boisterous," he sank. What happened? He took his eyes off Jesus. If we look at ourselves, our lives, our failings - we're sunk! When Satan tells you what a miserable sinner you are, agree with him. Yes, I say, you're right. I am a great and miserable sinner and a big fat loser. But God be praised, Jesus is an even greater Savior! He selected a bunch of ignorant, quarrelsome, ambitious losers and through twelve of them He turned the world upside down in just a few years!

I saw a great T-shirt today. It said, If God can cause light to shine out of a bug's butt, just imagine what He can do with your life!

You're worth much more than a bug's butt!

 

[BigBlueHen53]

I can’t help but to look back on the past. And beat myself up. It’s part of the prison

You are not your past. God takes our sins and throws them into the deepest ocean. And I heard He posts a "no fishing" sign over them! When God forgives our sins, He blots them from His memory banks. It's as though they never hapoened. If you are in Christ, you are a new creature! You're a new person. The person who did those things, praise God, NO LONGER EXISTS. Though your sins be as scarlet, He says, they are now as white as snow. Though they were like cromson, now they are like pure wool. They are gone.

 

[BigBlueHen53]

Thank you! And yeah, I wish I had a choice but I once went like a week without my meds and it was BAD. I was way way worse. And before I went on them, I was too. And the first few meds I tried, turned out they were making me way worse too according to the doctor at the hospital and he immediately took me off of them. So it took a while. But now I’m doing a lot better. But still feels like a prison since I keep beating myself up.

Took about two years to find the right meds for me. Ugh, what a mess! Eventually did though, thank God! Have been stable now since 2000 but before that .... oh, it was not pretty! You just have to keep trying, it'll come right eventually. What I'm taking is actually an off-label use of an Rx for epilepsy. Works great for me, though. What you have to know is that you are not a bad person. It's just a chrmical imbalance like diabetes or low thyroid, and there is treatment for it.

 

[BigBlueHen53]

I didn't want to try any new drugs although they were offered. I can't say I am better off them but I'd rather not take anything. I suppose if they made me feel normal, I would have stayed on them. I think it's just the way we are wired up, some people look positively on life, others see it as a negative experience. It can also be inherited from our parents. My dad was extremely depressed and attempted suicide a few times over his days. My mom was a big ball of anxiety ready to explode. I got a double whammy going in my head. Again, it's not easy to change our thought patterns about ourselves or our lives.

 

[chickengr]

I can’t help but to look back on the past. And beat myself up. It’s part of the prison

I remember a signature of a byc member: don't look back. you are not going that way!

I used to live in the past and missed life. not doing that any more. when something from the past chases me I just go and sit with my chickens. cheap therapy and always works.